If Oprah is God, then Martha Stewart is the Pope.

Don’t deny it. It’s true. I’m sure your life has been affected by Martha Stewart Living at least once.

How many times has my life been altered by Martha??? EVERYDAY. I think WWMD?? (That is, what would Martha do?… and you can also switch out that M for an O, for Oprah of course)

She is instilled into every holiday through our food, decoration, television, all thanks to Mamadukes. I even look forward to the holidays for her television specials. We don’t watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special like most Americans… we watch Martha berate her slaves and guests on live television all for the sake of a good meal.

I whip my hair back and forth

Bottoms up

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Give thanks for everything… except the slaughter of the Native Americans via the Europeans. But hey, we all make mistakes.

-Rocco