I apologize for this. This is all that everyone seems to be talking about….. geez you would think it was a big night for Hollywood or something. I can’t imagine what the Oscars is going to look like… what a shit show.

Here are some great moments from the night:

Natalie Portman laughing at something that only she thinks is funny. Maybe it’s her husband’s last name. His name is Ben Millepied. I crack up every time I hear that. Could you imagine marrying someone by the last name of Millepied. Rocco Millepied??? It sounds like a new species that has hundreds of legs and a great sense of humor.

I know Natalie… that’s hilarious. But remember that’s your new last name, not mine. Not so funny now is it??

I really wish everyone would stop complaining about Ricky Gervais. He was funny. Comedians are allowed to make jokes about people… especially their celebrity peers. Plus… what he said is true and therefore immediately funny. Hollywood needs to relax.

He should host every thing from here on out. And I know you’re saying “Rocco… what about Ryan Seacrest?? He’s such  a great host!”… Ricky Gervais could injure Ry Ry with a swift karate chop to the mouth. And then voila! Done! Gone! No threat.

And the award that was given off-screen was Hot Mess of the Night

I don’t know this woman’s name (I know, I’m a sorry excuse for a blogger) but she plays Lucy on Boardwalk Empire and she is pretty much naked and having sex with Steve Buscemi every time she is on film. Apparently, she was a waste case last night and this picture says it all. She is just loving that pose and loving flask of vodka in her clutch.

I totally need to get to one of these shows this year and be a correspondent for something. I’m going to make up my own press pass.

-Rocco