My Favorite Mullet Is Homeless??
Posted January 18, 2011on:
What is happening???
I woke up, and Twitter was all a twitter (I love saying that) because Alex Lambert, my favorite mullet on this planet, says he’s homeless. Or is homeless… I don’t know why you would lie about it.
(wow… he’s adorable)
I immediately thought of Adam Lambert (because I get them mixed up sometimes) and I thought “Is he now homeless because he spent a lot of money on that Oprah-awful weave???” I was worried and felt bad for making fun of his hair.
But then I realized, I’m silly and mixing up my Lamberts.
Once I got to the correct Lambert and checkity checked out Twitter… this is what I read: (Oh and feel free to marvel at my awesome screen caps)
2) Why can’t he go back to Texas, have a bed, and do music there for a bit?? I mean I get it… Texas may not be a grand time, but you’ll have a home.
3) He doesn’t have any friends he can crash with? You lived with a bunch of people in that house. Miley Cyrus’ ex, that looked like Gaston, can’t let you crash on his couch?? Your friends suck dude. While finding a home, I’d look for some new friends.
DED-I-CA-TION! I can’t even dedicate myself into typing out the long and emphasized version of “dedication” correctly. Glad there is free WiFi wherever he is though… because I’m sure he wouldn’t be able to afford the internet charge. I’m still disturbed about his awful friends… I’m going to call my friends after this and ask them the hypothetical “if I was poor….” question.
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN??? Is he in a gang to make money??? Does he turn tricks?? Why would you say this all on the internet??
I wanna know now… that’s like saying “I have a secret, but can’t tell you”… that annoys me and makes me super curious.
I hope he isn’t stripping… maybe he can dress as a woman an audition for the new Lady Gaga video???
Alex: I’ll do anything… I need money
Lady Gaga: You don’t look like a woman enough
Alex: Wait… check out my hair *shakes head and mullet falls down*
Lady Gaga: YOU’RE HIRED!
I really don’t understand why he hasn’t been signed. This is just another reason why I need to have a job in my actual field of study. I would have scooped this kid up!! I like to apologize to Alex Lambert right now… I failed you!! If I was more on my game, this wouldn’t even be an issue. We’d be kicking it somewhere fabulous and you would have the shiniest mullet ever.
And I’d also like to say… how does this kid not have a girlfriend?? He’s so adorable and so talented… and I’m going to assume nice. But the fact that he is girlfriend less is not really the important issue here…. that was just a side note.
I don’t even want to believe this… I almost rather it be that he is crying wolf and/or is just a super dramatic kid or something.
Let’s pretend this isn’t happening and listen to his awesome song with whistling… whistling makes everything better.
He could even get a job as Marty McFly’s double. Maybe they could do a re-release, digitally remastered version of Back To The Future and Alex Lambert could do the re-shoots or something???
Listen… I’m just trying to fix this craziness.