Got a secret... can you keep it??

-Why are  the girls getting interrogated?? This is bullshit!! The police in this town suck. They are bad at solving murders. They need the Law & Order crew in this place.

- Spencer probably killed her… and Spencer just lied to the po po. She is pretty and a liar. How ironic. I think Spencer had something to do with this. She is sweet… but she has it in her to kill someone. She sometimes looks full of murderous rage.

I can kill in my cardigan. Don't test me.

- Emily… why did you just spit out some Jesus gospel?? Christians don’t like lesbians. You are barking up the wrong tree.

- Garrett!! Hey there sexy cop. Who the hell are you?? Hey boy heeeeey! (I can’t find a picture of him… trust me. He’s adorable in a suit)

- I think he likes Emily. Oh now HE’S barking up the wrong tree.

- Oh they want to put Spencer is therapy because they think she is cray cray. Her parents just refuse to believe their other daughter may be married to a murderer. They need family counseling. That’s my professional PLL blogger opinion.

Spencer needs to run to Butt Chin right now and weep on his dented chin.

cry on my chin. I will wipe your tears with my swoop

-Spencer is an awful crier and her sister is a BITCH!!

-Ian was in a Disney movie and played a leprechaun…I believe a murderous leprechaun.

I lost my pot of gold.

- Blunt Bang Paige… she is now a lesbian. And Emily is pissed she doesn’t wear rainbow colors and cut her hair super short.

-Butt Chin got a hair cut. He looks less like a sociopath.  And he’s staying in a hotel… Spencer is sad and loves him.

I got my haircut. I hope Spencer digs it.

-Butt Chin just said he’d avenged Spencer’s innocence and kill Jenna….. how romantic. Okay he didn’t say the kill Jenna part.. but I’m sure he was saying that in his head.

-And what is that we hear??? A flute?? A flute being played by someone who is in fact NOT blind??? YES!

I could kill you with this woodwind

- That black bag says something… Spencer freaks out and is outside room #214. (Remember the braille??)

- SEXY CALEB!!! He looks great from filming Twilight all night. Always wakes up with perfectly ironed hair.

Jacob can suck it!

- Hanna’s mom is pissed because her ass fell in the toilet.

- Not Blind Bitch Jenna is hanging out with Ezra! Oh NOOOO! “A” just texted Aria and said that Jenna and Ezra are BFF.

- Jenna is writing a story about a blind girl and Ezra is helping her with it. Jenna needs to stop writing an autobiography of herself.

-Paige is leaving love letters in Emily’s locker…how cute.

- Spencer begs hottie mchottie cop to still investigate Ian. She is going to get her ass arrested.  But Falcon will set her free!!

-Jenna is not blind and she looks like a 30-year-old troll. And she knows Aria is banging Ezra.

Im not blind

- Butt Chin and Spencer are in the hotel next door to room 214. Spencer is hopped up on caffeine. Or speed.. or the sweet love of Butt Chin. Who knows??

They bribed the maid with an Andrew Jackson to get into the room. That maid must be poor.

- Hanna and Caleb come home and makeout…

Caleb: I hate your mom/ Hanna: Me too!

and Hanna’s mom is a BITCH and kicks Caleb out. His foster parents are going to kill him.

OMG! This is like Romeo & Juliet. I’m in love.

- Let me get this straight. The mom is mad at Hanna for letting a homeless boy sleep in the basement, but the mom can steal a shit ton of  money?? That’s what’s happening right??? Glad we all see the hypocrisy.

- Emily meets Blunt Bang Paige in a bar. I’m sure it’s a lesbian bar. Actually… I’m positive it’s a lesbian bar.

-Paige’s hair is less structured and rigid. This is her loose lesbian look.

- Paige just made a balls joke about girls. She is a funny lesbian.

- Aria cooks Ezra dinner and he just won’t shut the F up about the Blind Bitch who isn’t really blind.

Ezra: Jenna blah blah blah.. good writer/ Aria: I will blind you if you say her name

- Hanna and Caleb are camping. CAN THIS BE ANYMORE LIKE TWILIGHT?!?!?! I hope the bad vampires don’t come…

- He just called her Dora The Explorer. I want him to call me that.

-Hanna shares her fat camp story with Caleb! I LOOOOOVE THEM!! They need to get married STAT!

- And now he’s telling Hanna about his shitty family life.

I officially don’t care about who “A” is. “A” can kill whoever she wants… Hanna and Caleb need their own show.

I love these two. They need to have sex in the tent. That should happen.

- Paige is drinking and now singing karaoke. And Emily joins her. This episode is about love.

- Spencer and Butt Chin are playing Scrabble in the hotel room. They are counting up the score… this is their foreplay.

triple word score.....

Annnd Butt Chin made fun of her outfit. I’ve never liked him more. He knows she dresses like an idiot.

- Butt Chin conveniently undresses in front of an open door. Spencer just spelled out sex pot with the Scrabble letters. I’m sure of that.

- Holy shit! Caleb and Hanna are actually gonna have sex whilst camping. I was totally joking. This is so romantic. I never went camping in high school.

- Oh no! Trouble in paradise with Aria and Ezra. I don’t care about them.

- Spencer and Butt Chin sneak into room #214 and find a CD player playing the flute and then a bag of ice that says “You’re getting cold- A”. She’s such a bitch.

- Paige can’t be seen with Emily??? I don’t get it. I don’t care about this storyline. (I obviously don’t care about many things in this show)

- Aria is going to tell Ezra everything…. let’s get back to Hanna and Caleb.

- Hanna’s mom is an idiot. I don’t like this woman. Why is she tearing them apart?? Is she team Edward??

I like vampires better than werewolves

- BUTT CHIN AND SPENCER KISS!! Really?? Does anyone care about this murder mystery??? I definitely don’t.

- Oh wait.. I don’t hate her Mom… she invited Caleb for dinner. But she’s still being rude. She’s going to let him stay. YAY!!! Not rude anymore.

(I swear I’m not bipolar… this show is so up and down with the emotions)

- I don’t really know what Aria told Ezra. I don’t understand this show at all. I don’t remember how or why Jenna is fake blind. Butt Chin did it with fire?? Who knows?? I just care about Hanna and Caleb.

- Caleb walks out and secretly calls someone and says “I can’t do this anymore.. it’s over”. WHAT?!?!?! WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!?!?! AGHHHH!!! I CAN’T STAND IT IF HE’S A BAD GUY!!!  (I’m not really screaming. Just in my head I am)

- Spencer’s sister is crying because she had an abortion the summer Ian killed Alison.. I don’t understand what’s happening. So he didn’t have a proper alibi because he was busy aborting a baby. I don’t care… he is an idiot either way. Murderer or not.. I don’t care for him.

- The police are waiting for Spencer because they know she was seeing Ian that summer. Spencer’s sister will kill her. And though the police are right there… they will never figure it out because they are bad at solving investigations.

“Breaking News bitches.. Spencer Hastings a person of interest in my death-A”

Black Hooded figure is watching them (because he has video of them going to Spencer’s house) and eating popcorn. MOVIE NIGHT!

See you next week.

-R (I should have been signing off every recap with “R”… I’m sorry for missing that obvious joke)