This is why I question whether or not I should birth a child. What if it comes out as a serial killer? I can barely take care of a sane infant… what if it’s homicidal??

I ain't got no shank to hold me down. *dance dance*

You’re dumb if you think Jason, Freddy Krueger, that girl who fell into the well in The Ring didn’t have parents. Shit, the mother of the girl from The Ring pushed her child into the well because she was showing psychotic tendencies. (right?)

Anyway… here are two horror movies that will be useful as birth control.

Hanna I’m not really sure why you’re the devil, but you need to stop killing people.

Annnnd my ovaries just dried up. No thanks! What if I have a haunted son?!?!!? I can’t have that running around.

I hope you watched this when the sun was still in the sky. And whatever you do… don’t tuck your kids into bed tonight… if they are the devil, they can handle it.

-Rocco