I don’t believe in many things (except Oprah), but one of the few things that I do firmly believe in is that Katie Holmes is held captive by Tom Cruise. I find it very hard to believe that a woman who is 5’10 willingly marries a scientologist who may or may not be considered a little person.

DON’T TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND!!! I stick to the morals and values my parents raised me with and I was always told that if a small man who becomes the celebrity leader of the funniest religion in the world marries a cast member of Dawson’s Creek and they have a robot child from artificial insemination ….. that woman is hazed out her brain on mind altering drugs. <— That is the exact description of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s life. I now fully believe.

Anyway, Kate Holmes escaped the cellar where Tom Cruise forces her to do experiments and serve tea to Xanu and she looks great. Nothing like a little sunshine and fresh air.

I’ll let you guys know when 20/20 calls me and asks me to do an interview on the exposure of this situation.

-Rocco