But it wasn’t a flock of crapping pigeons that did it this time… it was that goddamn nuisance of the sun, and it’s heat waves that beat down on the delicate skin of the Kings Of Leon.

Seriously. During a show in Dallas, Texas (where everyone in the world knows it’s one of the hottest places in America. And a lot of people have guns) Prince Caleb Followill stopped the show to say he was too hot and had to go back stage, drink a beer and throw up. And then the band left the stage.

First off Caleb, go to medical school or get a common sense degree in the school of life, because you should know if you’re hot, drink some freakin’ Gatorade or water, not alcohol, you moron!

Second, Why don’t you weather.com that shit and find out the temperature of the city you’re playing in, so you are properly hydrated and dressed. Because I know he was probably wrapped up in an ironically plaid button down, which is inappropriate for Texas weather.

So anyway, the fans baked their internal organs in the sun waiting for the band to return…but that never happened.

Jared Followill later came out and told the audience that the show was cancelled and to “hate Caleb, not us”. I love how they throw the douchbag under the bus. It’s the only way to do it.

and apparently Jared is the hot one of the group. (based on looks, not temperature. Caleb has the temperature part down)

After that. Jared Followill took to Twitter to explain more because Twitter is like the young people’s CNN.

Dallas, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. There are internal sicknesses & problems that have needed to be addressed. No words.

 I love our fans so much. I know you guys aren’t stupid. I can’t lie. There are problems in our band bigger than not drinking enough Gatorade.

Read: Caleb Followill will be in rehab in about 2 weeks and his divorce from whatever Victoria Secret model he married will follow 2 weeks after that.

These hipsters are so predictable.

-Rocco