So, what did we learn last week on Pretty Little Liars??? Oh riiiiight… THAT JASON 2.0 IS A CREEPY MOFO!! But Aria thinks it’s cool.  Oh and A really hates Emily.

I just had a thought… why don’t these girls ever hit reply and text A back. That would be fun.

Let’s check out the disasters A will cause this week!!

- You see a black hooded  figure walk out of Emily and Hanna’s room. Emily walks out of the room at 5AM. Hanna calls Emily’s phone number and she left it in the room… the girls are looking for her.

-But the girls should relax because Emily is just taking a run in the woods(reaaaaal safe!!!) because she so stressed out. She needs to relax because that ulcer is not being healed with this drama rama. (A texted Emily a picture of Aria and Ezra making out and told her to tell her mom)

I like to run before the sun

- Emily goes to the therapist’s office and all the girls are there waiting for her.

- Apparently, Emily was going to run away to Texas… as if A can’t put on a cowboy hat and find her there. Pshhh!

- BUTT CHIN TOBEY!!! He makes a triumphant return because he’s still Jason 2.0′s house slave. He sees Not Blind Bitch Jenna in a car waiting for Garrett at Jason’s house. He see’s them making out. (Jenna and Garrett.. not Garrett and Jason 2.0. That’d be weird)

- The girls tell the therapist about A. WTF IS WRING WITH THEM!!?!??!?! A will obviously murder this bitch now. Nice job ladies!!

Please don't kill me.

-Hanna is going to give her bitchy ass step sister a book of horses. Adorable.

- Hanna’s Grandma shows up and I swear to God it was Paula Deen guest spotting. I ALMOST LOST MY MIND!! God I wish that was true.

real grandma

Paula Deen!

Right?? They look like they both eat butter. This was some great casting.

- Hanna is talking to Caleb on the phone and my God I miss his face! Just as much as I wish that Hanna’s Grandma was Paula Deen in this episode.

MISS YOU!

- Paula Deen wannabe is over this new marriage for Hanna’s Dad. And she just called Hanna’s mom Condoleezza Rice…. she’s colorblind too!! This woman is just as awesome as Caleb.

Not Hanna's actual mother

-Aria goes to talk to her brother Mike, and Mike is a mess and a half. In fact… he’s a little teenage dick and needs to stop being so angsty. Mike and his mom fought and something dramatic happened that I missed (I think she hurt her wrist) and she tells Aria DO NOT TELL YOUR FATHER!. Sooooo, Mike beats his mom now?? Aria is going to be in therapy for the rest of her life.

I will beat you mom.

-Butt Chin Tobey is all into being Mr. Nancy Drew with our new Nancy Drew, Spencer!!

me and my chin are Nancy Drew's sidekick

-The girls’ therapist comes to the school to talk to everyone and this is awkward because she’s pretty much just preaching to the girls, so this is really uncomfortable for everyone involved.

- Not Blind Bitch Jenna is walking down the stairs and I really wanted the girls to push her down because SHE’S A GIANT WHORE!! I hate her!!! She says some rude comment to the girls because she’s a wench. UGH!

let me walk!

-Paula Deen and others are at the dinner for Hanna’s dad and her stepmom. Hanna and her stepsister have to give a speech. Hanna’s step sister is pouring vodka into some lemonade, so she’s an alcoholic.. that’s good. And of course Hanna gets some vodka too. This will end well.

not true to scale

-The therapist gets a phone call and it’s a recording of her voice saying “I’m the first person you told about this”… which is what she said to the girls when they told her about A. AGHHH A IS RELENTLESS!!!!

- Garrett is there to investigate the therapists counseling room because it’s bugged and he wants the clients name. DON’T GIVE IT TOO HIM!! Hanna is drunk right now, so again, this will end well. I think Hanna’s step sister is getting her drunk on purpose….this is an evil plan!

I'm a shitty cop

- Emily and Hanna’s mom are hanging out and this is a sweet moment. I like Hanna’s mom… I want to be her daughter.

- Byron (Aria’s Dad) is obnoxious and defending crazy ass Mike because there is mental illness in his family. Clearly Mike is bi-polar and that’s a definite diagnosis because I’m pretty much a doctor.

- EMILY CALLED MYA AND THEY ARE HAVING DINNER!! I thought Mya was in gay camp or something???

I'm back!

- Butt Chin and Nancy Drew are staking out Jason 2.0′s house, but that means they are having sex in the car. Umm Nancy Drew…. you suck at this while spying thing. She’s of course storming into Jason’s house AND SEE’S HER FATHER!! ( I just gasped and put my hand over my mouth… I typed that all out with 1 hand!)

I'm shocked!

- Butt Chin is talking all nasty to Spencer’s Dad and it’s kinda hot. And now they are fighting and then Spencer defends But Chin and gets in the truck with Butt Chin. OMG ROMEO & JULIET!!!

- Black Hooded Figure is watching the therapist out the window.

- Mya is back from gay camp, but I think she’s still a lesbian so that is good. And her and Emily are having a convo and I’m bored.

- Mike is super out of his mind and I’m pretty sure he needs medication because he’s mad.  And now he’s crying to Aria and this is sad. What a brother/sister moment. CUTE! Too bad mental illness isn’t involved.

- Hanna and her step sister are drunk…. and I’m nervous about what’s going to happen. Hanna throws up on the wedding dress and her step sister has a look of “mission accomplished” on her face.

-Spencer sneaks into her house and her dad is waiting for her.

- FLASHBACK!! Paula Deen is not having any of Ali’s mess. That’s fun.

I killed A

- Spencer’s Dad tells her that he had to change Grandma DeLaurentis’s will so Jason 2.0 could get some inheritance, and not just Ali.  And Spenc brings up a good points about the DeLaurentis’ having something on the Hasting’s if they could get her father to change a will. OHHHHH! WHAT HAS HE DONE!!!??

- The therapist is looking at her files and she says “Omg I know this person!”… A is in therapy.

-Paula Deen is defending Hanna because Hanna’s dad is screaming at her for getting drunk and sick and then he defends that stepsister bitch Kate. WTF?!?!? Don’t treat my BFF Hanna like that!!!!

Don't yell ay my granddaughter!

-Aria tells her parents about Mike breaking into more than 1 house. And then Mike walks down the stairs and looks like he’ll talk. Sweet!

- Kate stop being such A BITCH!! Paula Deen knows that Kate just out vodka in Hanna’s lemonade! I like this Paula Deen Grandma…. she’s dope!

- THE THERAPIST CALLS EMILY AND SAYS GATHER THE GIRLS BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHO A IS!! AGHHHH!!!!

- Of course the therapist isn’t there… god she’s probably dead.

“The doctor is out-A” <—– SHE’S DEAD!! A IS A MESSSSSSS!!!! Why won’t A stop killing people??

- Black Hooded Figure bugged the office and put a mic on a bobble head doll. No one would ever notice.

God when is the season finale of this show??? I can’t take much more of this!!! Too much drama!!!

I’m spent!

I hope Paula Deen Grandma isn’t A. My heart can’t handle that.

-Rocco