Pretty Little Liars: “A” Needs To Calm Down. Seriously.
Posted on: August 31, 2011
AGHHH!!! This is the summer finale and I need this break because it’s too much drama and murder for me. And plus, I want to sleep later on Wednesdays.
A probably killed Dr. Sullivan. Let’s get into it. The girls have a lot going on this week:
-The girls are sitting in the police station all dirty and Garrett says “you are right… they’re guilty”. I hate you Garrett.
-A detective comes in and says “did you miss me??” The girls look shocked, but I have no idea who he is. It’s safe to say I didn’t miss him. (*edit* I think he was the cop that was from season 1 who was a douche)
- He is threatening the girls and saying “things look bad” and that “homicide is a capital offense”. Well, duh! I guess the chicas are now getting charged with Ali’s murder.
- 12 HOURS EARLIER!!! Ohhh they did NOT just Quentin Tarantino this!!! Why are the girls dirty?? Why are they at the police station?? We will find out. It will all be revealed.
- Mya calls Emily and all of a sudden a killer isn’t on the loose and she’s happy. Lesbian puppy love!
-Someone cut Butt Chin Tobey’s break line. AND HE TOTALLY JUST ASKED WHAT HIS AND SPENCER’S BABY WOULD LOOK LIKE!!! Ummm?? A BUTT CHIN!!!
- I’m suddenly very interested if Butt Chin and Nancy Drew have slept together yet. Did that happen??
-CALEB!!!!!! CALEB CALEB CALEB!!!!! I was not expecting him to be back! Oh if it’s possible he got more sexy Native American and more hot. Caleb and Hanna are so perfect.
I'm back
-Ezra is reading at work and his ex-fiance, Jackie, brings him coffee and pretty much wants him back. Aria of course hears this, and that’s good because Ezra is all like “no ho, I love my underage girlfriend”.
- Aria gets a text and it’s a picture of Dr. Sullivan held hostage that says “She’s still alive”. WHAT?!?!? Now, A is a terrorist.
save me
- And now the girls are standing around a box and it says “open or she dies”. A NEEDS TO CALM THE HELL DOWN!!
“you have until 7pm to save her… these are my demands”
And now the box is fully of creepy dolls! <— what is wrong with A??
a little less creepy than these dolls
- GO TO THE POLICE YOU DUMB GIRLS!!!
- Aria has to prove that Jackie plagiarized her paper, Hanna has to stop the wedding, Spencer has to keep Butt Chin safe, Emily doesn’t have to do anything…. YET!
- Cut to girls at the police station.. Aria wants to make a call and Garrett is telling another po po that page 5 is missing from the Alison murder file.
- Aria calls someone and is SOBBING (great acting) and says “I made a terrible mistake and I need you) PLEASE GOD CALL EZRA. I feel like Ezra could save the day on this one.
-Annnnd Quentin Tarantino! Aria goes and shows Jackie her plagiarized paper… Aria could have worn a more professional outfit. She looks like a tiger fighter in that ripped up shirt.
I can ruin lives in outfits like these
-Hanna’s dad comes to see her before the wedding and they are having a nice convo. Let’s get this done with and get on with the chaos.
-Spenc is sitting with Butt Chin and she tells him she lied to him about everything. And they just broke up. A is such a bitch. Now, Spencer is sobbing. THERE ARE SO MANY TEARS IN THIS EPISODE!!!
- Dr. Hot Face (Wren) sees Spenc crying. They should make out… he is sans Butt Chin.
'ello!
- Of course Aria is wearing a ridiculous dress to the wedding. The doorbell rings and Jackie shows up and is acting like a giant bitch. She’s threatening Aria with the idea of exposing them. GOD I WANT TO PUNCH JACKIE IN THE FACE!!!
don't ya just want to punch this face??
- Emily finally got a doll and it says “I’m taking you to her.. go alone” in the creepiest voice you could imagine.
- Spenc is dressed for the wedding and Dr. Hot Face is there. He’s British and doesn’t have a butt hin. HE WINS!
- Dr. Hot Face kisses Spencer. And she’s a little bit taller than him, so it annoys me and I laughed at it.
- If it’s possible Caleb looks hotter in a suit. And his hair isn’t even done properly.
(Caleb obviously gives this show life and substance with his face)
- KATE (step sister of Hanna’s) NEEDS TO BACK UP OFF OF CALEB!!! And he Caleb totally just told her she had “back fat” HAHAHHA!
I don't have back fat!
- Hanna gets a text “She’s about to run out of air”.
- Hanna legit stops the minister and asks to talk to her step-mother. Omg this is so embarrassing and awkward. I can’t even watch. It’s stressing me out. I have agida.
- AGHHHH!!! Hanna is telling step-mom that her dad hooked up with her mom a few weeks ago. OMG HER DAD HATES HER!! AGHHH I CAN’T TAKE THIS!!
-Emily goes into the barn and gets trapped of course. And she’ll probably die from carbon monoxide.
-Butt Chin is at the police station and he’s just shouting he loves Spencer and he said to the cop “I’m not your boy!”.
I ain't cho boy!
- Back to the barn! Emily passed out and someone grabbed her and pulled her out of the barn. Of course she’s hallucinating that she’s with Ali. And then Ali just quoted the theme song “two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead”. And now Ali is making out with Emily. What the hell??
-Emily wakes up and tells the girls she saw Ali. Umm no bitch…. you were hallucinating.
- The Hasting parents are at the po po station and Jason 2.0 shows up and Daddy Hastings is very upset by this. They are arguing.
-Also, Ezy Ezra shows up and Aria’s mom isn’t having any of this. She calls him out for being with Spencer (remember she thinks he’s dating Spencer) and he looks shocked about this!
- Someone walks up to Garett and he says “you shouldn’t be here”. I hope it’s Blind Bitch Jenna.
-The girls find a shovel with coordinates, so they have to dig at the ground and find shit. The girls are digging like maniacs and they are really bad at it… because they are pretty much just screaming.
- AND OH GOD!! the police are there to arrest them. A set them up.
-UGH JENNA!!!! I HATE YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!
- The shovel the girls used was the actual murder weapon.
- Garett gives Jenna page 5 and tells her to burn it and then they admit that they killed Alison. WHAT IS HAPPENING!!
- OMG and freakin’ Dr. Sullivan has never looked more alive in her life…. Black Hooded Figure hands her an envelope and she leaves.
Last line of the show from a black waitress “How you doin’ tonight, pretty eyes? Ya want a piece of pie??”
Sooo Black Hooded Figure is Bradley Cooper??? Awesome!
I take back what I said earlier… these show needs to not go on hiatus because it stresses me out so much and I need a resolution. AGHHHH!!!
-Rocco
9 Responses to "Pretty Little Liars: “A” Needs To Calm Down. Seriously."
August 31, 2011 at 2:37 PM
Question. Is Not Blind Bitch Jenna and Garret NOT A? Because they were being all creepy and pedophile-y (in the words of Pauly D, she’s too young for him, bro) at the police station while A was with Dr. Sullivan at the diner. OR, if they are “A”, there is at least one more “A” that they are working with (who is not Jason DiLaurentis, as he was at the police station). I think we definitely established that there is multiple A’s tonight anyway, as A1 was watching Hanna break up her dad’s wedding and A2 was locking Emily in the barn.
Other thoughts: 1)Was Dr. Hot Face just hanging around that Spencer’s house, waiting for her to break up with Butt Chin? Because where the hell did he come from? 2)Mona had THE BOOTS on at the beginning of the episode! The boots that creepy A ordered online, that once belonged to Dr. Sullivan, and that the girls dug up along with A’s murder weapon, and 3) I think Allison slept with Spencer’s dad, because she’s slept with like nine million people on this show and she apparently does not give a fizzle about choosing age appropriate partners.
Sorry that was a lot. I needed to vent about this episode and for some reason my husband refuses to watch the show with me.
August 31, 2011 at 3:44 PM
OMG IF ALLISON SLEPT WITH SPENCER’S DAD!!! I WILL DIE!!
you bring up valid points. I guess there are multiple A’s and jenna and garret have to be involved. did they def kill Ali?? because that’s the impression i got.
Dr. hot face was totally just waiting around lol and I didn’t even notice the boots! so does Mona have something to do with this?? AGHHHHHH!!!
you can come here and talk PLL anytime you want girl 
August 31, 2011 at 4:46 PM
Thank goodness! I will be back with my many Pretty Little Liars theories in October, when we have a delicious spooky episode to tide us over until January. While I’m waiting I’ll drool over your collection of Prince Harry and Ron Weasley pictures.
August 31, 2011 at 6:55 PM
I just shared this w/ @maudeapatow on Twitter. She was looking for a good PLL recap & yours are always the best!!
September 2, 2011 at 11:55 PM
I noticed Hanna said to Mya “Nice boots, are they this season?” when Emily was trying to get her out of the room. It was more than small talk, they showed the boots. Could she have been “A” ordering boots online?
You are right, this episode had to much. I don’t think “A” has enough on them to keep them quiet. Yes, they were found with the murder weapon, but they also have tons of incriminating texts, freaky dolls, letters of blackmail from “A”. Even when they had the shovel on them they were in dresses and heels frantically digging up a mask and boots.
Also did Aria really need to approach Jackie? Couldn’t she just put the plagerized article on her car etc with a note like “I know, leave before your fired” or just mail a copy of the evidence to the dean.
I still love the show, I hope Caleb stays too.
September 3, 2011 at 2:36 AM
you make some serious valid points… i didn’t even think of all the text messages they have saved. so true!!! lol
August 31, 2011 at 10:09 AM
Your recap is perfect. You even include everything my daughter and I yell at the TV. lol It’s so stressful and you still make it funny. That’s talent. October can’t come soon enough! Thanks for the picture of the Coop to calm everything down.
August 31, 2011 at 10:18 AM
hahah thank you!
it’s not coming back until October!!?!?? I can’t handle this. this show really causes me to talk out loud to myself lol. glad you guys do it too
ps i really hope coop is cast as black hooded figure.