E! News… I Laugh In Your Face With Your Superhero Competitions
Posted September 1, 2011on:
This is honestly a headline over that so-called entertainment news source, E! News:
Who is the blogger over there??? How is that even a fair competition?? And if any of you are even choosing Henry Cavill over my Garfield Boo!, we currently are in the biggest fight you have ever been in.
Andy is tasteful and I can’t see the outline of his package (ps Mamadukes is so proud when posts like this sprinkle out of my fast typing fingers). True, I can see the outline of his ass… but I would see that in his hipster pants anyway.
Plus, Andrew Garfield is extremely limber….
….and Henry Cavill punches like a girl.
That punch wouldn’t hurt a bad guy. The only tactic he could possibly use is the massive distraction that is his bulge.
See my point?? E! News can just take this article down and send their apology in the form of The Amazing Spiderman premiere tickets to me within the next week.
*edit* I did a little more research (read: continued to Google Andrew Garfield because it’s an addiction!) and it turns out Spiderman sports a bulge too. Whoops!
I’m okay with that. It’s subtle. Subdued. And Spiderman shoots white stuff out of his wrists. And also… never mind.
(This post will definitely land me a job.)
PS Look at this great photo I found during my “research”
Ignore the guy on the left and focus on the suspenders, hair, and Robert Pattinson’s jawline. You’re welcome.