Warning: This may contain spoilers so if you haven’t seen the movie, and really want to, go away.

I saw Woman In Black last night and it was pretty much Harry Potter sans a wand. Me, my cousin Jüliet, my fake business manager Nikki, and cupcake queen MaryEllen sat down, ate loads of popcorn and watched the shortest movie of my life (seriously… it started at 7:30 and we were out of there by 8:15 the latest. It was bizarre). My main conclusion was it’s was pretty much Harry Potter except there was no magic….and here’s why (in no particular order):

I'm the boy who lived.

1) Daniel Radcliffe/Harry Potter was in it. That’s an obvious one but it needs to be mentioned. What also needs to be mentioned is the fact that his eyebrows are 67% of his face.

2) There were gingers in it.

can the woman in black fix my wand??

3) There was a trunk… just like the trunk Harry brings to Hogwarts.

4) A train was present. Just like the Hogwarts express.

5) A talking parrot?? Probably Hedwig’s long-lost cousin.

6) Harry Potter had a scar on his head. Arthur Kipps had a scar on his heart.

I'm sad.

7) People died. A lot. Even the characters we grow to love.

8) The woman in black is clearly Voldermort’s side piece.

I love you, my dear

9) This has nothing to do with Harry Potter, but I was convinced his character’s name was Oliver for more than half the movie even though every 5 minutes they said “Arthur”. Oliver is better.

10) SO MANY TIMES he could have used spells like alohomora, lumos and avada kedavra (kill that woman in black bitch).

11) The Mirror of Erised is constantly in this movie. He could have just looked into it at any point and find out what to do.

And as a bonus: DON’T EVER TOUCH YOUR HAND TO THE WINDOW WHEN YOU SEE A HAND PRINT!!

So, as you can see by my 10 points I clearly made the case that this was pretty damn close to being Harry Potter. You’re welcome for opening your eyes.

-Rocco

PS And for those of you who saw it: I wish Sam turned out to be a crazy person, kids in the 1800′s played with the most frightening monkey toys EVER, and if Harry Potter can dive into the mud and pull out a horse-drawn carriage, I’m not really sure why the police couldn’t do it.

ACCIO CARRIAGE/DEAD BOY!!! It’ll look kind of like this.