Okay. So once again this is my recap of a recap/skimming through this weeks PLL. Last week’s show was too good (what the hell was up with the school sleepover party and Black Hooded Figure being a little bitch and stealing Caleb’s computer??) to not skim over this week’s even though I had no time. Here is my half assed recap with gaping holes!

My conclusions from this week:

-Holden is the lamest character ever. LAME SAUCE. I wanted him to be a gay male prostitute, but all he is some nerd  with a heart condition who thinks he’s the Karate Kid. He can’t be Black Hooded Figure… so I don’t care about him.

- Ali paid some dude Jonah to find out who “A” was back when she was alive. Jonah says he’s owed $2,000. The girls better get that bake sale on to get that much money.

- Emily’s lesbian girlfriend Maya is always high (that explains the awkward dinner with Emily’s mom) and she’s being sent to San Francisco. I think this is great because I hear a lot of gay people are in San Fran and it’s easy to get medicinal marijuana. Go for it Maya!

- Also, Maya and Jason 2.0 chat for a minute. Maya can’t be “A” because, “A” can’t possibly be high all the time.

- Spencer and Jason awkwardly bond since they now realize they both share Mr. Hasting’s DNA. So cute.

- Spencer ruins this bonding by stealing $2k from Jason 2.0 (from the $15k hush money I’m sure Mr. Hastings gave Jason 2.0. Hey, my dad can be a douche if my allowance is $15k.) which he found in Ali’s fun box.

-Caleb is a goddamn weirdo with a crazy computer password. All the states you ever lived and the date the first time you smushed with Hanna?? Not creepy at all Caleb. Seriously…I wish we had a special date that I could use for my password.

- Hanna and Spencer deleted all the incriminated in files before the po po could check them out. OH HANNA AND CALEB ARE LIKE BONNIE AND CLYDE.

AND FOR THE BEST QUOTE EVER:

Caleb: “I got a hot spot in my pocket.”
Hanna: “Yeah, I know — but what does that have to do with computers?”

So hot.

Basically, Black Hooded Figure is a giant gay because he/she is obsessed with Emily and her relationship with Maya, Caleb is a hot computer nerd who is sentimental, Holden is a waste of space who thinks he’s in fight club, and this show better tell me who “A” is before I start sending anonymous  texts to everyone on the production of this show.

Does anyone else miss Butt Chin Falcon Boy?? God knows he’s not filming a movie in real life so get his butt chin back on the show for my entertainment purposes.

-Rocco