I have decided I’m only going to take love advice from Michelle Duggar because she is wise, kept that hot piece of ass Jim Bob for all these years, and has the greatest hair in the game:

On the premiere of the greatest show ever, Michelle is speaking at a conference on how to be a good, Christian wife. She also handed out a worksheet called Seven Basic Needs Of A Husband.  I got about a 1/3 in and I had to stop because I was ready to write an open letter (a la Billboard to Rihanna)  to Michelle Duggar about how she’s a damn idiot. Here are some highlights:

1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.

How does a wife destroy her husband’s manliness?

A. By expecting him to know what protection you need
1. Physical
2. Spiritual
3. Mental
4. Emotional
Tell your husband how he can protect you.

B. By being financially independent
1. Love is killed by self-sufficiency
2. Whoever controls the money controls the leadership.
Center your work and your ministry in your home.

C. By giving greater loyalty to outside leadership
1. Pastor and church leaders
2. Men and women Bible teachers
3. Relatives and friends
Ask your husband your spiritual questions.

D. By resisting his decisions in your spirit
1. A wife’s spirit controls her husband’s ambitions
2. Reviewing past failure destroys a husband’s self-worth.
Learn to wisely appeal to your husband

E. By resisting his physical affection
1. This is the unspoken crushing of a man’s spirit.

Please click HERE and attempt to read this whole thing. In fact, I think you and your man circa 2012 should read it together because it’s hilarious.

-Rocco