Dear Rihanna,

Wow. Really?? Chris Brown is actually on your remix to “Birthday Cake”?? That’s really happening?? I know you can put a curse on me for this but… you are dumb. Call me crazy, but collaborating with some dude who punched you in the face a few years ago seems a little strange.

Not only are you dumb for having Chris Brown on your track, but Jay Z is kind of an idiot for allowing this. WHAT IS BLUE IVY GONNA THINK?!?! Out of all the R&B singers/wanna be rappers… this is the only guy you could get for the remix??? I find that hard to believe… you smoke weed with EVERYONE in music.

Well, have your cake and eat it too… lets just hope it doesn’t come with a side of fist in your face.

<3 Rocco

PS But seriously. You ruined cake for me. Every time I try to eat a piece of birthday cake, I’m just gonna think of domestic violence. And who wants a piece of cake when Daddy just hit Mommy?? No one.

I sure hope there’s a music video… this will be really good publicity for them.

-Rocco