A lady in West Hollywood filed a police report claiming the drug induced wrath of Lindsay Lohan attacked her while in The Standard Hotel. The girl was talking to a male friend of Lindsay’s, and Lindsay’s drunken ass didn’t like it, so she pushed and shoved the woman. <— that’s probably exactly how the po po wrote out the report.

What is that ho talking about?!?!

Of course everyone’s sipping on the delusion juice and denial is running rampant on Lindsay’s end:

“Lindsay was absolutely not involved in any sort of altercation whatsoever. This is clearly another case of someone looking for money and 15 minutes of fame.”

And don’t forget, Lindsay never leaves the house anymore. She’s a homebody.

I’m going to believe this woman because everyone knows you can’t get money from Lohan. She has like $100 in her bank account, and if you want to fake sue anyone for money she’s not a good option. Hell, I’m a better option.

Thinking about having more money in my checking account than Lindsay Lohan and then believing it made me happy.

-Rocco