What The Hell Is Going On In Branson?!?!
Posted May 10, 2012on:
True story: I Googled Branson because I have no idea what state that’s in and come to find out it’s in Missouri. <— I know. I’m a shameful American, but at least Obama supports the gays now.
Why are American Idol winners and losers meeting up in Branson, Missouri? This sounds frightening. I’m afraid they’re all planning an attack.
If they are, Kimberly Caldwell sucks at stealth because chick is posting pictures like it’s her job. Luckily, it’s my job to analyze:
(Okay I only half the people in this picture so we’ll discuss from left to right)
- Blake Lewis: You can’t be on Glee (seriously.. that hair. What happened to the cool spikes?) but I appreciate the arm art. It looks like you’re wearing an actual t-shirt full of color and I like it.
- Kimberly Caldwell: You are pretty. I have no idea what you do with your life on a daily basis, but I assume your not addicted to meth so keep it up.
- I have no idea who those next 3 girls are so they must have been really awful on American Idol. Good luck with your career, ladies.
- LEE D!!: Never, ever shave. Ever again. That beard. I’m insanely attracted to him right now (and that’s saying a lot since I blacklisted him last week). I don’t know what’s hiding in that treat hat (obviously not razors, but hopefully condoms because he could get some action in Missouri with that scruff), but he drank some sexy syrup and is looking pretty good.
Again, Lee D. What is going on? Why is he so attractive in Missouri? What’s in the water over there? Blake Lewis… I appreciate you covering up the Glee hair with a hat that my Grandfather rocks. And the Asian chick looks like Jessica Sanchez from this season, but we know that’s not true because Jessica Sanchez is still terrorizing me with her ballads every week on that goddamn show.
So, thanks Kimmy for these pictures, but really… what’s going on in Branson, Missouri?
PS Is this place even in Missouri? That’s embarrassing if it’s not.