What The Hell Is Going On In Branson?!?!
Posted on: May 10, 2012
True story: I Googled Branson because I have no idea what state that’s in and come to find out it’s in Missouri. <— I know. I’m a shameful American, but at least Obama supports the gays now.
Why are American Idol winners and losers meeting up in Branson, Missouri? This sounds frightening. I’m afraid they’re all planning an attack.
If they are, Kimberly Caldwell sucks at stealth because chick is posting pictures like it’s her job. Luckily, it’s my job to analyze:
1)
(Okay I only half the people in this picture so we’ll discuss from left to right)
- Blake Lewis: You can’t be on Glee (seriously.. that hair. What happened to the cool spikes?) but I appreciate the arm art. It looks like you’re wearing an actual t-shirt full of color and I like it.
- Kimberly Caldwell: You are pretty. I have no idea what you do with your life on a daily basis, but I assume your not addicted to meth so keep it up.
- I have no idea who those next 3 girls are so they must have been really awful on American Idol. Good luck with your career, ladies.
- LEE D!!: Never, ever shave. Ever again. That beard. I’m insanely attracted to him right now (and that’s saying a lot since I blacklisted him last week). I don’t know what’s hiding in that treat hat (obviously not razors, but hopefully condoms because he could get some action in Missouri with that scruff), but he drank some sexy syrup and is looking pretty good.
2)
Again, Lee D. What is going on? Why is he so attractive in Missouri? What’s in the water over there? Blake Lewis… I appreciate you covering up the Glee hair with a hat that my Grandfather rocks. And the Asian chick looks like Jessica Sanchez from this season, but we know that’s not true because Jessica Sanchez is still terrorizing me with her ballads every week on that goddamn show.
So, thanks Kimmy for these pictures, but really… what’s going on in Branson, Missouri?
-Rocco
PS Is this place even in Missouri? That’s embarrassing if it’s not.
6 Responses to "What The Hell Is Going On In Branson?!?!"
May 10, 2012 at 9:13 AM
I don’t blame you if you haven’t read the RBB lately. I didn’t know where Branson is until I read the reports and announcement of the Idol Finalist Live! tour. I still don’t know why it’s Mo instead of Mi, though.
May 10, 2012 at 9:21 AM
I can’t wait to see Lee Bear in concert…the rest of the idol contestants will be just an added treat. There are a lot of entertainers that have shows there which bring a lot of tourists. I’m sure Lee will gain quite a lot of fans with his tour there. Yes…he does look good!
May 19, 2012 at 8:55 AM
The Asian girl is Thia Megia, who was on Idol a few seasons ago. And, no, she looks nothing like Jessica Sanchez. Are you saying all Asians look the same? Check yourself, before you rant off sounding like an idiot. I love reading your blog, but sometimes it doesn’t seem like you think before you post. I think you’re definitely better than that.
May 20, 2012 at 11:33 PM
this thia might be hawaiian unless im thinking of someone else completely.and im not saying all asians look the same… im saying all girls with long dark hair look the same
May 10, 2012 at 7:28 AM
Ah, yes, Ms. Caldwell. Blast from the past from my David Cook days. Hey, she means well. She just doesn’t…have anything much to do these days as you’ve noticed. I hope this quintet does well in Branson, ,wherever that may be.
May 10, 2012 at 7:44 AM
is she just hanging out in life?? good for her.
im so confused with this whole branson thing lol