Interviewing her is my nightmare. I hope it never happens. She’s too awkward, but not in that quirky Zooey Deschanel way, in the way where you can tell she hates where she is and is being a bitch about it.

Kristen Stewart took time out of her busy schedule of premiering movies that no one cares about because Robert Pattinson isn’t in it, and graced the cover of Elle with her charm.

Thankfully she opened her mouth and said stupid things:

On her sheltered upbringing: “You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to f—ing happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f— me over! Do you know what I mean?”

She wants a life full of bad things because she feels boring and everything is so easy for her. I hope the starving and homeless people around the world aren’t reading this over someone’s shoulder while begging for money in Starbucks. She’s an ass.

On the gold ring circling her index finger, rumored to be from Robert Pattinson: “Everyone wants to know. Everyone knows already -it’s ridiculous.”

Wait… they’re still together? I’m confused. I don’t know what she’s getting so angry at.

On intensity of her characters’ roles: “It’s one of the reasons I want to act. I love living in different worlds, because a lot of times mine is pretty nice and easy.”

Again, I’m sorry to the struggling creative people of the world who live shitty lives and eat ramen noodles everyday of their life because no one will give them a shot; Kristen Stewart is taking the role because her daddy works in Hollywood and her life is grand.

Does she ever think when speaks?  She definitely wasn’t thinking when she agreed to dress in drag for the Elle shoot.

-Rocco