And This Is Why No One Likes Jessica Sanchez: American Idol Finale Edition
Posted May 24, 2012on:
Listen. I get everyone’s going to be freaking out that Phillip Phillips one (more on that later) and it is honestly hilarious that another guy one, but what can I say… America loves a penis that plays guitar. Look at the Billboard charts.
America also loves people who are not void of emotion.
See what I did there? I called Jessica Sanchez an annoying robot and it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s Filippino. Trust me…if America was racist, Joshua Ledet wouldn’t have made it to the top 3 because he’s a black man who may or may not be secretly in love with Phillip Phillips chest hair just as much as I am.
Hasn’t Whitney Houston’s family suffered enough?
And my absolute favorite part is when everyone thought it was a great idea to put Jennifer Holiday and Jessica Sanchez on stage together.
Why is Jennifer Holiday doing that with her mouth? I can’t even properly make fun of Jessica Sanchez trying to keep up because the de-hinging of the jaw is so distracting to me. Jennifer Holiday almost hit Jessica like 9 times with her flailing hand which would have been AWWWWWESSSOME!
Anyway, that woman’s mouth made me lose my train of thought, but my point is Jessica Sanchez lost because she has no soul and no social skills.