(PS I’m obviously just going to write about American Idol today… so deal with it)

What the hell was going on during the American Idol finale? I’ll get to Phillip Phillips later (I totally already have beef with him. Like, really?), but first I had to discuss Ace Young looking like Jesus and asking Dian DeGarmo to marry him on stage. WHAT A GOD AWFUL IDEA!

Need some ratings Nigel? Clearly PP was sitting this whole show out because he’s over it and probably peeing out chunks of his kidneys at this point, so they needed some filler and Jennifer Lopez can only lip synch one song at a time.

I only have a short clip of the worst idea ever because it’s too embarrassing to watch it in its entirety:

I would have said no for 3 reasons and here’s why…

1) THAT HAIR! Why does he look like Jesus? That look hasn’t been cool since 1978 and I’m pretty sure he’s not in the Broadway production of Hair. He looks like an idiot… and this coming from a former Ace Young fan (Seriously… was totally into that during season 5).

2) Could he take any longer to propose? Jesus, Jesus! SPIT IT OUT ALREADY! We don’t have all damn night, PP needs to win so he can get some surgery on his organs. Phillip Phillips passed a kidney stone while Ace Young was asking Diana to marry him.. that’s how long that took.

3) NEVER EVER publically propose to anyone. It’s the worst idea ever. You just have to say “yes” because of the pressure. So, you guys are my witness that I’m telling P2 now… he better not eve propose to me and Dancing Baby (our new family) in public. (But sexy saxophone girl must be present)

Not to be a bitch  buuuuuut, how long do you think this will last? And if they have a child will they name her America, and if it’s a boy Seacrest? Hope so.

Next time Nigel wants filler and ratings gold, just have Ryan Seacrest come out of the closet.

-Rocco