I Really Need Phillip Phillips To Live Forever, So His Kidneys Better Cut It Out!
Posted on: May 30, 2012
Like really? There’s two of them…. can’t the left kidney tell the right one to get it’s shit together and start functioning like a man!
PP was supposed to get kidney surgery yesterday, but thankfully his girlfriend is using Twitter as her personal diary and just spilling family secrets, AKA the surgery wasn’t happening yesterday and she let us know about it, because it’s everyone’s business now:
Phillip’s surgery is not tomorrow. He will be fine when it is scheduled and is excited for tour. Thanks for your concern and respect.
Just like P Squared’s right kidney… no discretion.
Hey uhh… how about you not tweet about my life?
This is annoying because PP was supposed to be in NYC but he postponed everything because his organs are playing The Hunger Games, which means I need to postpone my stalking. I already bought the roofies, what a waste!… I mean, what??
You don’t need roofies, girl…*head nod*
BUT WAIT! The drama continues, because not only are his kidneys being little bastards, PP’s sinus decided to get in on the game and get an infection, which caused a fever, which delayed the surgery.
Ohhh my sinuses!
This is of course all according to TMZ, which is as trust worthy as the high school cheerleader who won most talkative (aka the gossip queen), so what we really need is that girlfriend to tweet her feelings on the matter. GET ON IT! I need to know when it’s appropriate to stalk your boyfriend again.
Please don’t do that
Would it have been funnier if I used a picture of the girlfriend? Probably, but I don’t want to get sued.
GET YOUR KIDNEYS FIXED!
Imagine he was faking all of this because he just didn’t want to do the post idol press tour, mainly that stupid American Idol Experience shit at Disney??? I would high five him… and then make out with him.
-Rocco
11 Responses to "I Really Need Phillip Phillips To Live Forever, So His Kidneys Better Cut It Out!"
May 30, 2012 at 10:53 AM
AAAHHHH!!!! (Excuse me as a freak out because I’ve been out of the country for over a week and sooooooo much has transpired on The Rev!!!)
OK, first, can I love this man any more?!?! I don’t think it’s possible. He is delish and I will miss his voice every week on AI!
Secondly, I’m kinda worried about the poor guy. I really hope his surgery is soon and goes well — he could really have a good career if he can get healthy quick!
Lastly, of course, I’ve already purchased Home and I LOVE it!
Your Faithful Revolutioner, Jen
P.S. — I apologize now for posting comments on all your old posts! I’m catching up! 
May 30, 2012 at 11:07 AM
is “home” not the greatest thing you ever heard? I hope you blasted throughout the foreign country you were in! lol
So glad you are back!! hope you had a great trip! and you can comment on anything you want… thanks for catching up!
and serious note… yes crossing our fingers for PP to get better quickly.. i need him to record an amazing album that the world will fall in love with
May 30, 2012 at 5:19 PM
Welcome back Jen 
hope you had an awesome time !! I woke up today to all your post such a dedicated Rev Fan yay you !!
Thanks so much, Barbara! Sorry to fill your in-box!
May 31, 2012 at 3:07 PM
No problem I love reading all the funny and cleaver response to Rocco’s blog
May 30, 2012 at 5:24 PM
You of all people can appreciate PP sinus infection I hope they get that infection cleared up poor bastard really needs the kidney surgery * fingers crossed * all goes well ps Roofies ??? maybe you could offer him a little “cure” for his infection hmmm…..
May 30, 2012 at 10:32 PM
you are right, Barb! i declared myself legally dead TWICE from sinus infections this past allergy season …. maybe we can chat about that once the roofies wear off?
May 31, 2012 at 9:02 AM
I, too, wish PP a successful surgery and speedy recovery. I’ve bought four of his studio recordings so far — Volcano, Have You Ever Seen the Rain, We’ve Got Tonight and Home. They are now looping on my smartphone almost all day. I’ve never had any kidney problem but can relate to his sinus episode. I survived (apparently) a massive sinus infection during my freshman year in college that tormented me the whole winter. The worst part was a month of daily injection of antibiotics turned my rear end wooden but failed to cure the infection. And the doctor had to use intravenous dripping instead.
May 31, 2012 at 12:08 PM
There’s two of them…. can’t the left kidney tell the right one to get it’s shit together and start functioning like a man!
May 30, 2012 at 8:53 AM
You gave us the perfect pictures and captions for this post. I can just hear him saying you don’t need roofies girl in his southern way. And the I’ll make out with him picture, impeccable. Hang on to those roofies though, I’m sure you’ll still get your chance to stand in the “plaza” outside the today show and try to spike his drink. Just make sure you don’t put them in Al Roker’s by accident. That would be awkward!!
May 30, 2012 at 9:31 AM
suuuuuper awkward! lol
i’ll keep roofies on hand. just kidding.or am i?