A Recap Of ‘Pretty Little Liars’ Through A Text Conversation: BITCH CAN SEE!
Posted June 14, 2012on:
So, remember last night when I made an announcement that a Pretty Little Liars recap was coming shortly since I always tell myself that you all sit and wait anxiously at your computers for said recaps?? Remember when I lied and sat at the restaurant I work at for 4 unnecessary hours just because I wanted to flirt with a boy?? Inappropriate when it’s PLL night. I apologize.
And since I’m making it all up to you (because you care so much about my recaps, right? RIGHT?!?!?) I will let you into a personal text conversation I had about PLL with my dear cousin, Juliet (follow her on Twitter because she’s as funny as I think I am, and way more stylish as I know I’m not).
This is the actual text conversation… swear to Oprah:
Jul: Please tell me you watched PLL!!
Rocco: No yet! Tonight!!
Rocco: So good?
Jul: Sex scene between Spencer and Falcon boy. CAW CAW!
Rocco: Caw f**kin’ CAW!
Jul: Caleb has perfect hair and Hanna is anorexic.
(Editor’s note: I should have reacted more to that statement– I love Hanna. I hope she’s okay)
Jul: Ezra and Aria are boring. Emily is still an alcoholic.
Rocco: I love Emily’s alcoholism.
Jul: It’s such a comic relief.
Rocco: OH GOD! SO GOOD!
Jul: Caleb might fight hot British doctor!!
Rocco: OMG. That is gonna turn me on.
Rocco: I need to go watch this show. I’m current sitting at _____ bc I have a crush on ___ who now works here.
(Real names/places have been left out to protect my identity. I’m sure I have stalkers, right? RIGHT?!?!)
Jul: Are you working or stalking?
Rocco: I’m shamelessly flirting with him. I’m smitten.
Jul: Snap a pic of this dish toting hottie!
Rocco: By the way, this is going to be my blog/recap of PPL if I don’t watch it tonight.
Jul: OMGGGG “BITCH CAN SEE!!”
Rocco: BAHAHAHHA! I knew she wasn’t blind
Jul: Best line of the show.
Rocco: Ugh! Ps I’m still at _____. I’m obsessed apparently.
Jul: You’re an obsessed school girl and I don’t hate it.
Jul: Gimmie more details….
(I’m clearly leaving out the details of said guy because he has not fully signed up to be featured on The Revolution as someone I put on blast unlike my parents, best friends and now cousin.)
Jul: Also, I just realized 93% of crazy revelations that occur in PLL take place in the school bathroom or the cemetary. Why was this not my childhood??
Rocco: Bahahah I wanna live in Rosewood.
Jul: Are you just wasted at _____ on your night off? Please say yes.
Rocco: I’m not drunk, but I’m wasting my time and have SO MUCH work to do. This is why I can’t date boys because I get MUCHO distracted. (working on my Spanish for obvious reasons)
Jul: Leave now. But only after you slip him your number and say “Call me…. maybe”
Jul: I have a way with men.
So… long story short. I didn’t watch Pretty Little Liars last night and I missed a sex scene between the Butt Chin couple…..
…..And I really hope British Doctor, Wren and hottie tottie Twilight extra Caleb duke it out— shirtless.
… And I knew Blind Bitch Jenna was always Not So Blind Bitch Jenna.
Thanks Jul for the PLL recap and man advice.
If you all want more of that, remember to follow her on Twitter.