Well, we now know he’s not a super hero or crime fighter in tights.

Now, I love How I Met Your Mother as much as the next person who’s recovering from massive kidney surgery, and  I watch entire seasons in one sitting when I’m completely healthy, but P Squared should really be– oh I don’t know?? STOPPING HIS FAMILY’S PAWN SHOP FROM BEING ROBBED!!!

TMZ (the most trusted source on this planet) reported that the pawn shop that his family own (or works at) was ransacked and $4,000 worth of merchandise was stolen  along with the entire cash register because the thieves like to play “store” at home.

LaDon: Well sonny… we were robbed. The heat I’m packing was useless….
LaPhillip Squared: Yes, Daddy. How I Met Your Mother was on…we were all distracted. 

I blame Jessica Sanchez. She’s pissed she lost. That is the only explanation for this atrocity.

And I also want to state on the record that I was not the robber trying to find Phillip Phillip memorabilia that I could lay under y pillow while I sleep. Not at all.

PS His love for HIMYM is reason #765 why I need to date PP for at least 4-7 months.

-Rocco