I was going to title this “R Pattz Would Hate Me Because I’d Call Him R Pattz In Bed” but my mom would get mad.

Anyway, this is serious. R Pattz would hate me because I would want to call him R Pattz in bed and he hates that nickname. In fact he wants to assault the person who came up with it.

Arg! Not cool!

In a recent interview with the Guardian, he said: “When I got this part every single article that came out, was, ‘R-Patz’s struggle for credibility!’; I don’t understand who invented that thing, ‘R-Patz’, I want to strangle them.”

This is really uncomfortable and awkward because all the love letters I sent him are addressed to “My Dearest R Pattz”…. no wonder he hasn’t responded. Shit.

I should probably also recall that paper- mache statue I have us being made entitled “Rocco & R Pattz”.

-Rocco