I haven’t broken the news to you all yet— but I’m going to away for a week  (more on that later), so I’d like to thank all the celebrities for airing their shit out today.

Divorce? Check!
Pregnancies? Check!

Is anyone planning on dying? You have a few more hours so get on with it.

Anyway, Adele is apparently knocked up.

“I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx.”

Ohhh let’s make these awards babies!

The baby daddy is her boyfriend Simon who, last time I checked, looked like a mountain man, so this baby is going to be a little, adorable, chunky monkey.

I can’t wait until she writes a heart breaking ballad about this.

-Rocco