I saw this movie/documentary last night Queen of Versailles and first off the woman looked like this (below), accidentally killed lizards, was super duper rich and then turned super rich, and was in the processes of building the largest house in America obviously inspired by the actual palace of Versailles, all while married to a man who was 30 years older than her.

Why am I telling you all of this, well one, I wanted to tell you that I saw this movie and it’s so ridiculous please go see it because it’s so unbelievably thought-provoking and I’m obsessed with the lives of rich people, and two, because Bruno Mars bought a really nice house that I want him to invite me to move in with him.

I’m a great roomie— always do the dishes, never party and I totally know how to use a swifter.

This 3.3 million dolla dolla home can fit about 17 of my apartments in it, a media room, fitness room,  a pool, a sauna, and more stuff that would never be in your house.

What does one hottie tottie do after spending $3.3 million on a home? Well, not much because you can’t afford a pot to piss in (my father has said that ever since I started listening to him and I still have no idea what the hell that means) but you can go get a McMuffin.

Gross.

-Rocco