I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I could care less about the Olympics. I know… I’M AWFUL!

I just don’t get it. I don’t understand any of the sports (Horse dancing? Really? That’s just dumb), I think Michael Phelps looks like a stoned version of Shrek, and the Chinese fake birth certificates so children can compete— I mean, they really don’t understand child labor laws over there. Why would I want to lethargically participate in that while eating a bag of Baked Lays and watching it on my television?

I will tell you one event I will non-lethargically (I’m also so awesome at the English language I’m annoyed they don’t have a spelling bee event) participate in is the closing ceremonies because One Direction will be there.

I actually think this is brilliant and not just because I have a NOT AT ALL inappropriate crush on these boys (they are all of age, so calm down), but because “What Makes You Beautiful” is a kick ass pick me up to all the Olympic losers.

I mean, the way those losers flip their hair can totally get people feeling overwhelmed, and I’m not sure why they are insecure because they are turning heads when they walk in the do-or-or.

But seriously… they light up my world like nobody else.

-Rocco