I’m going to say the tight clothes and the visibility of their junk is what gets them the Gold. Am I wrong?

Jesus… I’m just gonna keep writing about the Olympics because that’s the majority of the news. But my reporting is better than Ryan Seacrest’s and just let that be known here and now. (Seriously… why is he reporting on sports? That’s just ridiculous and he looks like a moron doing so)

Anyway, the US Men’s Gymnastic team are super buff and swinging on bars and rings and shit and they have way more points than the Russians. I have pictures to prove all of this.

I can’t do any of that. And I definitely can’t pull off royal blue spandex. They deserve that gold.

-Rocco