I’m writing this after feasting on toast and peanut butter I can’t help but think—- does Gwen Steafani eat toast and peanut butter?? Because I need to eat what she eats.

Gwen Stefani goes on to say how it’s “a miracle” her and Gavin Rossdale are still married and how it’s great that he “still likes her”. I mean, that marriage sounds magical.

“A miracle… my biggest accomplishment is my marriage so far. Because it’s hard, everyone knows it’s hard. [Marriage] is something that I always wanted to do successfully. It was a dream of mine. I like the official-ness and the family-ness of it all, having the same name and making decisions together.”

“[Our relationship] is better than it’s ever been. Like, we’re learning about each other all the time. He’s an amazing dad, he works so hard – I can hear him writing songs through the wall, and it is at a much quicker pace than me! He balances me out. And he – he never stops liking me, which is awesome! It makes me feel happy, that someone likes me as much as he does.”

And I just want to point out that my hair ALWAYS looks like Gwen’s is on the cover of Marie Claire and my ass is never on the cover of a magazine. Why can she not brush her hair and I have too? That’s bullshit.

-Rocco