Archive for the ‘Andrew Garfield’ Category
It all makes sense. This is obviously the ONLY reason why Andrew Garfield and I aren’t head over heels in love and having a sordid love affair. THE ONLY REASON.
Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield were lunching and some paparazzi were taking photographs of them, and instead of posing in hope of getting the cover of US Weekly (like I would have) they made a sign and promoted charities.
This makes me feel like shit.
We just found out that there are paparazzi outside the restaurant we were eating in so… why not take this -> opportunity to bring attention to organizations that need and deserve it? www.wwo.org and www.gildasclubnyc.org. Have A Great Day!
That’s what their sign says. I mean, why can’t they be normal and lash out Alec Baldwin style on the paparazzi and throw some punches.
I really need to check myself and ruin their relationship and then do some charity work with Andrew Garfield. Hopefully it will be something along the lines clothing children—- with Andrew Garfield’s clothes right off his back.
-Rocco
Apparently, He Doesn’t Really Love Me Because He Never Brought Me To Disney World— ANDREW GARFIELD!
Posted on: August 27, 2012
What the hell is going on in Disney World?
Isn’t it a place for children? Why are adult couples hitting up Disney World like it’s Amsterdam with free weed? I mean, I love Goofy as much as the next person that wouldn’t pay to take a picture with him, but there is no way in hell I’d be down with my boyfriend saying “hey I got a great trip planned!— We’re going to Disney”.
That’s when we would break up and I’d make fun of him on The Revolution and ask Taylor Swift to write a song about it.
With that being said… now I know why Andrew Garfield and I haven’t worked out; it’s because he likes to bring his ladies to D World and I would call him a D Bag. That’s the ONLY reason why we haven’t dated. Obviously.
I’m just kidding I wouldn’t call him a D Bag…. but we would probably fight about it and I’d reluctantly go and then we’d break up because I wouldn’t take a picture with Mickey Mouse while wearing those dumb ears.
That guy in the front looks like he’s having fun though.
-Rocco
Andrew Garfield Grew Some Facial Hair And I Feel Like I Should Make It Newsworthy
Posted on: August 6, 2012
Truth is, this is the least newsworthy thing I’ll tell you all day, but we gotta go with it because it’s Monday and Andrew Garfield is important to all of us.
Andy Garfield was in some country that I can’t remember the name of and he was sporting some facial fur that looked great. Great enough to be made into an entire post.
I think they should rewrite Spiderman and let him have a Amish looking beard like that because Andrew Garfield makes it look good.
-Rocco
Andrew Garfield looks like a sassy gay lion with suspenders and Robert Pattinson looks drunk, so naturally I want to date both of them— maybe at the same time because I’m a rebel.
Anyway, word on the street is Andy isn’t down with R Pattz and his jaw line because he hates that he’s so pretty and is in a movie like Twilight. Or something like that? I don’t even know because 1) I don’t believe that these two DON’T brush each other’s hair and 2) Andrew Garfield is in Spiderman, so he’s a serious actor who kind of sold out if you want to get technical and crunch some numbers.
“The truth is, Andrew can’t stand Rob. Andrew hates that they’re put in the same category because they’re both English and around the same age. They don’t enjoy hanging out. Andrew considers himself a ‘serious actor’ and sees Rob as the equivalent of a cheesy boy bander because of Twilight.”
Cheesy boy bander?? That’s a compliment in my book— I don’t see the issue there.
I hope these two kiss and make up. On video. And then put it on YouTube.
-Rocco
Andrew Garfield Used Porn As An Inspiration For His Role As Spiderman. Cool.
Posted on: June 30, 2012
Andrew Garfield is quickly becoming my favorite person. Person of the week if you will!
Trust me, sir… I’ve seen this in a movie before.
In a recent interview, Andrew Garfield spoke on how to prepare for his role as Spiderman, not only did he get fit for the tights, take some martial art classes, and get his hair coif looking perfect— he also watched some porn. Naturally.
“I watched it a few times. I watched it more from an inspirational stand point than from a sexual standpoint. I think you can find inspiration from anywhere when it comes to this character because it’s everyone’s; it belongs to everyone.”
Yes because porn stars are very inspirational for superheroes. Duh.
I love him.
-Rocco
Jesus. Ryan Gosling sure is a hot item.
(I’m glad I can just steal things like this from Perez Hilton)
Andrew Garfield let it be known that if he wants a hot piece of man ass it’s gonna be Ryan Gosling’s hot piece of man ass. Except he said that a little classier.
“That freaking dreamboat … I think I’m more attracted to Ryan Gosling than any woman could ever be,” Garfield kidded to the mag. “I think about him so often. I’m not joking!” In case there was any remaining doubt in your mind about his feelings, Garfield admits that, “I have a proper man crush.”
Wow…that is hot. I’m kind of into this. I’m going to need these two to have a bromance. But not just a summer bromance— A LIFE LONG BROMANCE! With me in the middle???
-Rocco
PS Thanks to TatisR for the article! 
P Squared probably high-fived Andrew Garfield last night at the LA premiere of The Amazing Spiderman. And then they probably fought gallantly for my heart and body.
I’ll hit you in the head with this basketball ugh!
Arg! I’m crazy, Garfield!
That probably happened last night.
But seriously… when is this album coming out?
-Rocco
Shit. How am I going to compete with that? I haven’t saved any orphans. I was an overpaid babysitter like a year and a half ago, and I actually thought about a way I could “accidentally”lose the kid in the park so I could jut go home and watch hours of Netflix. (I only had this thought once— it was a bad day). Andrew Garfield will never love me.
Plus, I’d look like an ass in silly glasses made out of pipe cleaners. Goddamn you, Emma Stone!
I’d still make out with him even in that plaid suit and arts & crafts glasses. I think that says a lot about my character.
-Rocco
I swear I’m not making this up and/or just telling you about a dream I had this past weekend… it really happened.
The three amigos were at a producer friend’s wedding and while I don’t have a picture of the three of them together I have individual pictures and I have a quote from a witness.
“There was a little area where you could go and play music,” a guest told Us Weekly. “Rob sang, Andrew played the bongos, Zac played the guitar. It was a whole spectacle!”
They jammed together—- JAMMED! (And yes, Andrew is Andrew Garfield). Hot hot. I don’t even mind that Zac Efron grew back his predator mustache.
The theme of the wedding was shitty Instagram photos… I’m sure of it.
-Rocco
What the hell? Our relationship is deteriortaing because of this little trip to the top of this lame NYC building without me.
It’s nice to know he took pictures that he could email to me at a later date.
-Rocco
