Archive for the ‘Jersey Shore’ Category
This Is Snooki In 60 Years
Posted on: October 26, 2011
I can’t wait until Twitter is just housing the Jersey Shore cast in their old age. Nothing like old guidos on Twitter.
I’m pretty sure the old man at the end is actually an old Jewish man, not an old Italian man. Get it right.
-Rocco
I mean, I knew Pauly D spun those 1 and 2′s (much respect) but Dina (the other Snooki) is apparently a singer now.
Don’t have any sharp objects around when you watch this. Please.
(Sorry about the D Man video instead. My subconscious killed Deena)
Is it just me or is anyone else more disturbed that she’s sitting in some poor unsuspecting teenage girls bedroom to film her debut music video???
-Rocco
I’m More Okay With This Being The American Royal Wedding Than I Was With Kim Kardashian’s
Posted on: September 5, 2011
And the fact that I’m talking about Snooki’s possible wedding means my dismay for the Kim Kardashian nuptials is still upsetting to me.
I can’t help but wonder if her orange, spray tan rubs off on him when they kiss?? These are the things that keep me up at night.
Anyway, Snooki is “so serious” about her relationship with the guido above whose name I can’t be bothered to look up (It’s like Johnny or Jionni or something like that. Something wonderfully Italian-American) that she had to say that it was “so serious” out loud.
“This time we might be going to the chapel. I mean, it’s that serious now!”
Quickie wedding in Vegas??? Classy! SUCK ON THAT KIM K!!!
I smell an MTV spin-off.
-Rocco
- In: Jersey Shore | Music | Television
- 2 Comments
I’m about to break it down for you.
My love for Jersey Shore and Pauly D all started just because I wanted my mother to love me more than my sister and I figured if we could share a bond over G.T.L and some guidos, she’d love me more.
Well, she does love me more (mission accomplished HIGH FIVE!) but now I love Pauly D more than my mother.
He’s so handsome. He looked so good last night at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards in his black suit. So good.
I can’t stop touching Mamaduke’s bobble head doll of Pauly D because I just want to hear him say “There’s a party in Pauly D’s pants!!” one more time before I go back to my own home.
-Rocco
So, Jersey Shore season 4 started 2 weeks ago and of course I’m hooked. They are running around Florence being drunk and offensive (and not to mention hazards on the road because they can’t read a damn sign if their life depended on it) and it’s the greatest television I’ve watched all summer.
Of course I spoke to Mamadukes and she’s hooked. She loves it just as much as she loves Barefoot Contessa’s summer recipes and she’s still super into Pauly D.
Yes. Mamadukes loves that man above. In the LIME GREEN SHIRT AND VEST!!! What a silly outfit (more on that later)
Anyway, first episode he’s literally licking one of the roommate’s face (the new girl who could probably be considered a midget because she just has to be under 5 feet and can’t stand on her own two feet longer than 5 minutes) and I’m waiting for Mamadukes to turn her loyalty to Pauly D off and denounce him, but NO! She still thinks he’s funny and the nicest one of the bunch. If I’m not mistaken she called him “classy”. Classy.
So, Classy McClasster wore a lime green shirt and this needs to be known. Usually he is swagalicious dresser… but this outfit is Gay Aladdin circa 1973. Not into it at all. I don’t even think the midget cast member would let him make out with her.
But ya know what??? I’m my mother’s daughter and I’d still date him. Lime green shirt and all.
-Rocco
He’s one of those people I like to call delusional. Hasn’t he ever heard of “no shirt, no shoes, no service”??? How he gets Slurpees from 7-Eleven is beyond me.
I really just want to punch him. In the face. And this is coming from someone who loves the Jersey Shore, so I can’t imagine what other people think.
-Rocco
It’s no secret that I like the Jersey Shore. I blame Mamadukes for that addiction. It’s as if she handed me a bag of crack and hair gel, and now I can’t stop.
I’m just gonna get into it and lay down the Jersey Shore trailer for season 4. And yes this is the season they bring the guido shenanigans to Italy.
Just from this trailer alone, I apologize to all the Italians of the world. Mi dispiace!
Some other things we learn:
1) Pauly D is sexy.
2) J Woww has giant ta-tas.
3) I’m gonna need Pauly D to stop touching tongues with that midget chick because it’s making me nauseous.
5) The Situation sexually assaulted that poor Italian girl. Language barrier is not an excuse in the courts.
6) Ronnie is definitely on steroids.
7) Pauly D is extremely good-looking.
Mamadukes is so stoked!
-Rocco
I obviously dedicate this post to Mamadukes because she will be super excited that she is within driving distance to Pauly D, once again. That whole Florence, Italy thing was too much for her.
True story: Mamadukes & Big D want to go back to the Jersey Shore next summer, and Mamadukes played it cool, but I’m pretty sure she’s just hoping she runs into her boyfriend, Pauly D. Big D has no idea of the real plan, but that has to be it, because no one loves going to Jersey that much.
I mean, I’m gonna tag a long for a free vacation, but let’s be real…. this is all for Pauly D and his perfect grin.
Anyway, these guidos and hos are back in Jersey, so here are pictures!
Ohhh I wonder if Ronnie and Sammi have fought yet???
-Rocco
Ask me what I’m doing today??
GOING TO THE TANNING BOOTH IS WHAT!!
Jersey Shore is being recast after the 5th season, and since I have no idea what’s going on in my life, I think the best thing to do is get on season 6 of Jersey Shore as a new cast member and try not to get pregnant. (or if I do… BINGO! Spin -off!! You’re welcome MTV!)
Waaaah!
I can do that! I can make that face!! Especially after I had that much to drink, I will fo sho be vomiting.
“After this group comes back from Italy and shoots season 5 this summer, that will be the end for them,” says an insider. The new stars will be “a lot cheaper”… plus the current gang can feel free to pursue spinoffs. Says the source, “They will leave on a high note!”
I’m so cheap! I’d do it for $1000 an episode. Plus, I really need to shame my family because I haven’t done that yet.
Does anyone know a videographer so I can record my audition tape??
I’m gonna go tan and get my poof going.
-Rocco
Or it’s just Vinny and the rest of the boys stretching and doing some form of gay wrestling in the streets of Florence. AWESOME!
While the boys were doing that… Snooki was breaking up. Literally. She was breaking up with her boyfriend who is kinda cute, but now contaminated.
I bet it had something to do with those freakin’ shoes.
Snooki and her boyfriend, Jionni hate each other now, and to be honest… I can’t wait to see this on TV. You know that Snooki is going to drink her face off and hook up with some dirty Italian guy because she’s heartbroken. And this clearly why she ran into a police car.
Can.Not.Wait.
-Rocco
