Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
The Internship is the new Wedding Crashers—- or what they hope for this movie to be.
I’m a fan of the internship as I interned the majority of my adult life, but hey— I got a job now and can pay my bills. Kind of.
Okay well that’s just not funny and certainly not Wedding Crashers.
The Internship is out (and probably not making money) June 7.
-Rocco
- In: Movies | Zac Efron
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Zac Efron is done with that singing and dancing business—and is banging chicks in race cars now.
FYI— this is movie is filled with daddy issues.
I don’t really have anything else to say about this movie.
At Any Price comes out at some point in the future.
-Rocco
Remember MTV Spring Break? That shit was so good.
It always aired the week of my birthday (March 24, start thinking of gift ideas people) and I remember dreaming about what it was going to be like to go to Mexico on spring break when I was in college.
Cut to 10 years later when I was at college and I realized white girls like me get kidnapped and sold as drug mules in the drug cartel in Mexico. I stayed home for Spring Break.
Anyway, Spring Breakers isn’t about that at all. IT’S WORSE THAN DRUG CARTELS!!
SELENA GOMEZ DRINKING!!!! VANESSA HUDGENS AS A BLONDE!!! AND JAMES FRANCO LOOKING LIKE K FED WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT!!
The world makes no sense.
Do you think these teen queens are trying to tell us that they are all grown up?
-Rocco
Entertainment Weekly has got your Finnick/Hunger Game crack that everyone is feigning for.
Now, listen— I have a reputation for reading the Hunger Game trilogy but having no clue what it’s about or who any of these people are. I proved that my reputation is holding strong because I of course had no idea who Finnick was until I had a Twitter conversation with fellow Revolution-er Tatiana. She schooled me on who this spandex, Aquaman looking dude was— he’s the guy who secretly has a heart of gold and is totally in love with a crazy bitch (she’s only crazy because the Hunger Game government sucks balls!).
Sam Calfin, the actor who portrays Finnick, looks like a wax doll/Ken doll on crack so I’m a fan— I can’t wait for Catching Fire to come out.
But I swear– I’m going to re-read this book and work on my reading comprehension.
-Rocco
Nice Side Part, Kutcher!
Posted on: December 4, 2012
Ashton Kutcher is playing Steve Jobs in a bio-pic and his side part is quite seductive.
Is there a hint of a swoop bang in there as well? Yes— yes there is.
I really can’t wait to see Kutcher in a black turtle neck.
-Rocco
‘The Hangover’ Isn’t Good Re-booted With Young People And No Bradley Cooper
Posted on: November 16, 2012
I don’t know what’s going on in Hollywood, but they are just remixing good movies into hot messes.
21 & Over is pretty much The Hangover with college students— I mean, they even have an Asian named Jeff Chang who they call Jeff Chan the entire movie.
I mean, I’ll obviously watch this when it’s on Showtime.
-Rocco
I’m Kind Of Shocked Tim Burton And Johnny Depp Didn’t Collaborate In This New Oz Movie
Posted on: November 15, 2012
But instead we get the “genius” and “art” that is James Franco and some dude that did the Spiderman trilogy.
Oz The Great And Powerful is the new movie that just ruins childhood.
Why can’t they just let Dorothy be a bad ass bitch?? Why does James Franco have to wear a ridiculous top hat along side Michelle Williams in a really bad weave?
Do you think this was shot on location or on a green screen? I can’t really tell.
-Rocco
No One Told Stephenie Meyer That We Don’t Want Another Movie From Her Book
Posted on: November 14, 2012
MY GOD! Is Stephenie Meyer and her little Mormon brain kidding me?!?!?
The Twilight franchise is thankfully coming to an end, and we only get a few months free before another movie based off of her books and is about contact lenses is released.
The Host is definitely about freaky and probably painful contact lenses.
I mean, I’m not going to see this when it comes out (March 29th) but the kid on the left is kind of hot. Hot like, Peeta Bread hot.
-Rocco
As far as I’m concerned, Jon Hamm and Daniel Radcliffe need to always be in the same room— preferably in a bathtub— but clothed and delivering babies is just as good I guess.
A Young Doctor’s Notebook is on Sky Arts (some English TV station) and I’m going to try and fly to England so I can watch this, because this looks so goddamn confusing I automatically love it.
WHAT?!?
-Rocco
I would never ever see Django Unchained if Leonardo DiCaprio wasn’t in it, so Quentin Tarantino can thank Leo later.
Djano Unchained is about slavery and Leonardo DiCaprio is a southern plantation owner, which makes me uncomfortable because I still want to make out with him.
Oh and Jonah Hill is in it, which is strange.
