Posts Tagged ‘2012 Academy awards’
Don’t worry… the talented Olsen.
Elizabeth Olsen and the Skars-o-nator were seen flirting at some Oscar after party, so let’s just assume he sealed the deal because he doesn’t even have to fake a Swedish accent for girls to want to sleep with him. And he’s Alexander Skarsgard and if you’ve been paying attention since, oh I don’t know?? July! You know he’s a ladies man.
So, yeah… those two were seen “getting to know each other in the corner”.
Isn’t he really old??? I imagine him in his late 30′s. Is that true? I can’t be bothered to Google him in fear of the dark hole I would end up in. <—- I hear Sweden gets like 5 hours of sunlight a day, ya know?
-Rocco
Who I can only presume pretends to be Swedish and sleeps with lots and lots of women as well.
The Skars-o-nator showed off his brother at the Independent Spirit Awards (hipsters of Hollywood) and I somehow missed that there was a man who shared the same DNA with him.
I don’t know if I believe this.
Anyway, Skarsgard also hit up the Oscar’s to try to compete with the new and improved Gerard Butler and see who can sleep with more women. (I’m gonna say Butler won, because who doesn’t love a man fresh from rehab?? Amirite, ladies?!?! *high five*
He’s 2 seconds away from making fun of Angelina Jolie with that pose.
-Rocco
Holy shit!
Gerard Butler was like one Tylenol away from dining in hell (HAH! Get it?? That’s my 300 joke… and I never even saw the movie. I’m that good), but then he went to the best rehab. EVER.
Someone send Lindsay Lohan to this place because she’ll come out looking like Michelle Williams and actually be able to play Marilyn Monroe.
Gerard Butler got out of rehab like 45 minutes before the Oscars and he was already bringing the sexy Scot swag to the after parties.
I mean, COME ON!! I don’t mean to be crass… but this dude had a lot of sex last night.
I might just take my embellished NyQuil addiction over the edge just so I can come out of rehab looking like a Victoria’s Secret supermodel.
-Rocco
*UPDATE* Breaking News: Bradley Cooper Did Not Shave His Porn ‘Stach Before The Oscar After Parties
Posted on: February 27, 2012
This is actual breaking news, which makes my fake breaking news even funnier in my head. I got schooled on Twitter from Bradley Coopers mustache… TWICE! And people say American is faltering… we are creative bastards.
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Damn you B Coop for clearly being a Tom Selleck enthusiast!
I know it’s for a movie role, but seriously… how long is this damn movie?? He’s had this top lip warmer for months now and global warming is kind of suffocating the US right now (well at least NY, to be honest … I have no idea what’s happening in the rest of the country.), so unless he’s playing a porn star, or Oprah forbid… a child molester, shave it.
It’s distracting me from getting lost in his icy blue eyeballs.
-Rocco
Did anyone else crack up when they say Gwyneth Paltrow strut her granola ass on the red carpet last night?
I thought her white dress was beautiful… but then there was the jacket,cape, blanket of stiffness wrapped around her uptight shoulders that sent me over the edge.
And because I’m the be all end all of fashion, and I say this look is dumb, it’s dumb. I don’t care what Joan Rivers and Kelly Osbourne say tonight on E!’s Fashion Police.
-Rocco
George Clooney Can Now Break Up With That Stacy Keibler Girl Because Award Season Is Over!
Posted on: February 27, 2012
Whew! George came out of this one unscathed.
We all know George Clooney just needs a hot piece for award season so he looks like the regular guy on the red carpet. Well, now that the 2012 Academy Awards are over and with that, the award season in it’s entirety…. he can drop her fast and get back to his love affair with himself and his Italian villa. And Brad Pitt.
Let’s remember the good times, AKA Stacy Keibler’s last moment of relevancy at the 2012 Oscars:
“You can go now”- George to Stacy.
-Rocco
WHAT A VISION!
I don’t know what she won, but she was sitting in her very own box with James Earl Jones and some guy that was definitely held up by marionette strings.
Oprah is always my favorite part of the Oscars. Hugo might have been the Adele of the show and won every goddamn award, but Hugo wasn’t wearing gold and looking like the second coming of everything on this planet.
I just wanted to mention how lovely she is.
PS Did anyone watch her and Jimmy Kimmel’s special that aired after the Oscars? Was it hilarious? Apparently she did this during the special which makes it a winner in my book.
-Rocco
We Should All Thank Sacha Baron Cohen For Helping Ryan Seacrest Kinda Come Out Of The Closet At The 2012 Oscars
Posted on: February 27, 2012
No straight man would get that upset if Kim Jong Il’s ashes were on his coat. A gay man?? Well, he’d lose his mind just like Ryan Seacrest did.
Sacha Baron Cohen, or The Dictator, is a comedic genius. To be in character like that and never break it is pure talent. To make Ryan Seacrest spiral into a fashion crisis meltdown on-screen?? Well, that’s is epic.
Let’s go through the greatness this is:
1) He calls him Brian.
2) “Like Saddam Hussein says socks are socks”
3) Kim Jong Il always wanted to come to the Oscars.
LMAO! SO BRILLIANT!
“If somebody asks you what you are wearing you can say Kim Jong Il!”
How is that not funny?? Seeing Ryan Seacrest loose him mind over some bisquick on his precious little jacket is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.
I hope Heejun Han pours Osama Bin Laden’s ashes on Ryan on Tuesday.
Watch out, Brian!
-Rocco
We Can All Agree Angelina Jolie Was The Most Ridiculous Human Being At The 2012 Oscars, Right??
Posted on: February 27, 2012
- In: Tidbits
- 14 Comments
We get it. You have a slit in your dress. Do you need to present the award in that awkward stance?? I don’t think she realized she was making everyone uncomfortable. Even the French people from The Artist, who don’t speak English, felt weird because they most likely saw a glimpse of her hoo hah.
I guess so. She also needed to stop and pose like that every 2 1/2 minutes on the red carpet.
Is Brad not telling her to stop, because she looks like an idiot?
I guess not. He needs that pimp cane back to regain his power in the relationship.
*edit* I’m not the only one making fun of Angelina Jolie:
That’s writer Jim Rash (winner of Best Screenplay) mocking Angelina Jolie as he accepts his award. Hilarious! (Thanks cjester27 for the link! 
)
-Rocco
You guys…. she’s just extremely tired. It’s hard for her to move her lips in the upward position when she’s tired.
Wait… scratch that. Bitch was just
at the after party. She didn’t even need to sit at the show for 17 hours. I sat through the entire thing, without a drop of alcohol and I was smiling the entire time.
She’s just hungry.
-Rocco
