Posts Tagged ‘actress’
I was tipped off on the toes of Julianne Moore by my Aunt who found it serious enough to post this on my Facebook.
I was told to “jump on that”, so I did the jumping and googled and my god— GET SHOES THAT FIT, LADIES!
Is walking around like this necessary? No. Is walking around like that on the red carpet at Cannes necessary? Absolutely not.
I think Kim Kardashian’s feet and Julianne Moore’s toes should chat. They would definitely have similar dislikes and likes if they were on Match.com (“extra wide shoes”).
-Rocco
If I ever get arrested I hope I look as cute and charming as Reese Witherspoon does it. That’s my only goal in life now.
Reese and her husband, Jim Toth, were arrested for being drunk assholes. Being drunk, adorable, too cute for words, assholes.
Check out the videos below that you surely already saw because I’m about 72 hours late on this shit. I was out, being cute and drunk, and trying to get handcuffed.
My fav is when the hot husband throws her under the bus with the line “I had nothing to do with that”, and “that” being his wife’s drunken shouts of “I’m an American!” and “don’t you know who I am!”.
BLOW BLOW BLOW BLOW BLOW!!
-Rocco
Rihanna is so pissed that Amanda Bynes isn’t instagramming her stroll in NYC with a joint hanging out of her mouth. Doesn’t Amanda know how it works?
Amanda’s weave is looking fresh!
-Rocco
“It’s an amazing feeling to be seen by someone you respect so deeply and to be loved and cherished. I had never really been cherished in a relationship before this one, and it feels… it’s the best feeling in the world and I just love him so much,”
Anne is of course talking about how her husband, Adam, loves her so much and no one cherishes her like he does. #TRUTH
No one can cherish Anne Hathaway because she’s a little bit obnoxious, and by a little bit, I mean she’s intolerable. So intolerable, I’d rather be shot into space next to the Ebola monkey from Iran than watch her on-screen for 2 hours.
Especially if she’s wearing an unecessary hat like the one below.
you don’t like my hat?
Fortunately, Anne is currently unemployed so after the Oscars she’ll go away for a little bit and hopefully I’ll be over my irrational dislike of her.
-Rocco
January Jones’ Hair Is Falling Out And It’s Funny Because No One Really Likes Her (Soundtrack Available)
Posted on: January 29, 2013
People still don’t like January Jones right? I mean, I hope not. If everyone loves her like they love Jennifer Lawrence, I just look like an asshole now.
January Jones’ hair is reportedly falling out which makes sense because she dyes it so often, and everyone in America loves talking about this because like I said earlier— no one likes January Jones.
I actually hope her hair is falling out because it will stop January from whatever that hair-do above is. A quiff and a mullet?? Too much.
Side note: There’s an entire hip-hop jam regarding January Jones’ beauty which is no irrelevant because bitch’s hair is falling out.
(That’s Hoodie Allen FYI– we’ll go there another day)
Good thing that jam is just a metaphor because have I mentioned that January Jones is losing her hair?
-Rocco
Don’t Judge Amanda Bynes– If I could Be Locked Anywhere, It’d Be A Cupcake Shop
Posted on: September 28, 2012
What is wrong with trying to stay all night at a cupcake shop? That’s kind of my dream. Can you imagine having all those cupcakes to yourself?? My God— that is my dream. Literally.
Yummm I like this cupcake— I think I wanna stay here all night.
Amanda Bynes has moved to NYC to start a fashion line (of course— that’s the most obvious move once you have a few hit and runs and DUIs) and I guess she was just having a creative breakthrough while in the bathroom and decided to stay. Stay there all night.
Sources tell Celebuzz that Bynes spent two hours at the Little Cupcake Bakeshop in NYC — more than 30 minutes of which were spent locked in the store’s bathroom. According to one source, the 26-year-old actress wore headphones and sunglasses during her visit to the shop — she got there around 9 p.m. She ordered a Dreaming Princess cupcake and cappuccino with extra sugar before heading to the bathroom.
The shop had to close to deal with the situation and when Amanda finally emerged she said she just had to do her makeup.
People are so rude— let the girl do her makeup while she munches on a cupcake in the bathroom.
-Rocco
It Is Quite Astounding That Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Get More Acting Gigs
Posted on: September 24, 2012
*giggle* Just kidding. That was a joke.
Lindsay Lohan’s career is crashing and burning because she now does TV movies on Lifetime. I also think she’s in Scary Movie 5 which doesn’t even need an explanation of why that is basically one step away from being on some VH1 celebrity reality show.
The trailer/promo for Lindsay Lohan’s Elizabeth Taylor movie, Liz & Dick, has hit the internet and I can only hope this will be released Thanksgiving weekend so I can be in a food coma/drunk while I watch it and therefore wake up forgetting everything.
Which would be totally ironic because that was Lindsay’s approach to filming this entire movie.
We should all say we are sorry to Alex Clare because his music does not deserve to be associated with that abomination.
-Rocco
But she smells bad enough for a fragrance one. I believe that’s how that works out.
We all know Kristen is the face of Balenciaga perfume because we’ve had to stare into the lifeless eyes of a woman who is dying to bite her lip in the ad, and we are lucky because if that was a makeup campaign Kristen would say hell to the no!
“I would never work with people who aren’t really creative and aren’t committed to what they do. Unfortunately, there are a lot of those people out there, they are fucking everywhere, and they try to suck the soul out of you. For example, I would never do a make-up campaign, even though the [final] photos with me would probably look good. Thank you, but it doesn’t interest me.”
She better watch her mouth. All the makeup artists in the world are going to f**k up her face with some bronzer and red lipstick. Don’t mess with the people who are making you look better, girl.
Kristen Stewart should do a makeup campaign— maybe they can shape her lips into a smile, orrrrr…..oh I don’t know?? Not make her look like a bitch!
-Rocco
GAHHHHHHHH LINDSAY LOHAN!
Posted on: July 24, 2012
I can’t think of a more honest title.
Picture this: me scrolling through the news of the day at 11:45pm (because The Rev is always a day behind and that’s how I like it) and I go past a picture of Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor.
Now, I assume this picture is Elizabeth Taylor in her later years (Oprah rest her soul) because Lindsay looks like the crypt keeper and I literally shouted “Gaaaah!” and caused a stir in my home.
And in other ‘Lindsay Lohan actually gets paid to act’ news— she just finished her movie The Canyons which I’m pretty sure is a soft core porn movie, and the director thought she touched upon classic performances like Faye Dunaway, Liz Taylor, Marilyn Monroe and more, so let’s just assume there was a lot of cocaine on set.
Just kidding, but not really. I can’t get sued if I say “just kidding”, right?
-Rocco
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She’s either filming a movie that no one is going to see, or just picking out the next foreign child she’s going to adopt.
I honestly can not tell.
-Rocco
