Posts Tagged ‘Amazon’
Miss Alex Dill is a writer/poet, good friend of mine and most importantly my movie going partner. Seriously— if your movie going experiences suck… go with Alex. Your life will change and that’s because you will eat an entire Thai meal and talk throughout the entire movie without one other patron yelling at you. It’s like Jesus miracle.
Anyway, Alex recently released Venn Diagrams electronically and urge you all to check it out (and buy it!) HERE, but also check out her exclusive interview explaining the book of poems, her influences and her bedazzled bike.
She didn’t directly say this, but if you read between the lines she says I’m one of her biggest influences and I get that. My words and thoughts are pretty influential amongst my peers.
-Rocco
- In: Lee DeWyze
- 8 Comments
I’m minding my own business at work yesterday (actually minding my own business and ignoring my tables because what’s going on outside on 2nd Ave is more important than if you need a glass of wine) and my phone starts going berserk.
I automatically think I’m super cool and people just need to get in touch with me via text message, but in reality it’s just Lee D seriously clearing things up in about 1040 characters.
(I screen capped it in a really shitty way, so just figure out how to read it. Read it from bottom to top. I think??)
I can’t tell if Lee wants to drink gasoline because of “What Once Was”, have his old record label “mysteriously” disappear, or he’s okay with it and just doesn’t give a crap.
Uhhh I'm confused???
People were throwing around the word “fraud” (they should probably get a dictionary and look up the definition to that word) and being super dramatic about it, but I think Lee D I just trying to run for President on this one.
He actually confused me more with his Twitter rant, so who has any idea how he feels about it??
If you want to buy it you can go HERE.
And if you don’t want to buy it than you can read some classical literature on your Kindle.
PS This was a really awkward post. It was funnier when I mapped it out in my head last night. I should learn to write things down… or tweet 1040 characters right away.
oh snap girl!
-Rocco
Born This Way Sold This Way
Posted on: May 30, 2011
- In: Lady Gaga
- 3 Comments
Was that funny?? I think it was. I’m currently watching Jerseylicious while writing this and it’s very hard to concentrate, so that was all I could come up with.
Anyway, Born This Way sold many many albums in its first week. 1.15 million mark to be exact. But before Lady Gaga thanks her little monsters, she should send a muffin basket to Amazon because they sold her album at a promotional 99 cents.
Without the 99 cents promo, Born This Way was set to sell 800,000 units. Which, I guess isn’t tooooo bad. I mean….. I could sell that many I bet. Maybe??
-Rocco
Listen. I’m gonna need you to pretend that this is the first place that you’ve heard this snippet of “The Last Goodbye”. Boost my confidence.
Click HERE to go to Amazon.com and hear a snippet of D Man’s new single.
Go ahead... click it.
It’s just as good as that picture above… probably better. It’s not as heavy on piano (as far as I can tell in 30 seconds) as I thought given it was a Ryan Tedder collabo… but I like it!
Listen to that drum track… and that artwork metaphor. Epic.
Can’t wait to hear the whole thing.
Now, go grab that paper bag so you don’t hyperventilate.
-Rocco
Okay… I admit I should have put this in the original post… but I’m lazy and it was just easier to make a new one. Deal with it.
Want to her a snippity snip of the new D Man song, “Don’t You (Forget About Me)”??? … by the way, I will never shorten that title…I love parentheses.
Go HERE to listen to it at Amazon.com. Or you can listen to the whole thing below. Sorry Amazon.
I listened to it twice, and he definitely growled and it frightened me. I jumped.
These contestants that are going home are not even going to be sad….. this song is fun!
You can buy this on March 8th. So, do that. I may even do it as well.
And here’s a picture to bring some color to this post.
Rocco can't think of a funny caption for this picture. So I'll just whistle.
-Rocco
Speaking Of Bouffant Hair… Lee D.’s Hair is Up 86757834% & So Are His Sales
Posted on: January 11, 2011
(That was a long title… obnoxiously long title)
Cindy sent me this interview (that I haven’t seen… shocking.) because his hair is “off the chain”. That is a direct quote by the way… and I couldn’t agree with that direct quote more.
At first glance, I thought… could this be a new interview??? But then I realized 1) probably not because there is plenty I haven’t seen and 2) if this was new, it would mean he was actually listening to a word I say… but we all know at this point he is totes mcgotes ignoring me. And 3) he is talking about his “new” album, which has been out for 2 months now. (Go get Live It Up for $3.99 if that’s still happening, or just go buy it. More on this later)
Anyway…. watch this and relive:
- He’s like the creepy guy in the elevator who stands right next to you, even if it’s only the two of you in there. And I know you are all going to comment “I would love for him to stand next to me in an elevator”, but it would be kind of weird if it were only you two and he stood right next to you… even if it was Lee bear doing it. That would call for an awkward laugh and the getting off at the next floor, no matter if it’s your stop or not.
- This is like an actual interview…. I’m impressed.
- His hair is awesome… or off the chain, if you will.
Proof of off the chain-ness
- I love how everyone said, Live It Up, didn’t sound anything like Lee D…. well he described the sound he was going for at around the 1:35 mark. Shocking. It sounds like Live It Up. What??? He wasn’t forced to release music that he didn’t want to. If this is in fact true, Crystal B. is going to be very upset, because that was her thing!
- Secret bear!! He doesn’t want people to know what his tattoo says. I’m going to take a wild guess that people know what his tattoo says (and I expect everyone to tell me)… and the camera man zooming in on his arm isn’t helping. The stalkers are just going to freeze frame that and read it.
- He can’t smile on demand… I’ll tell you the best joke to make you laugh Lee bear Ready???
Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella???
FO DRIZZLE!!!
This is an image of Lee D. cracking up at my hilarious joke
Okay… compose yourself Lee bear… I need you to do some math for me. Get serious.
Sorry Rocco. I'm ready to do some mathematics.
Okay… good. What I need is for you to calculate your sales from yesterday due to the people on Twitter promoting you. (PS You should probably send them a gift)
*compute compute* doing math for Rocco is fun *compute compute*
(and yes, he does throw his head back and sings when he is doing mathematical equations for me)
Okay… so yesterday Live It Up was on sale for $3.99, people were buying, people were donating, life was good. And on Twitter people were all a twitter (hahaha) over the sale increase, so I went over to Amazon.com to take a gander myself. (FYI this was from last night… so this might not be true this morning. So don’t freak out if he is in last place or whatever)
I don’t know what movers and shakers are, and what kind of title name that is for a music chart, but I want to be one of them. I’m pretty sure Lee D. works for Amazon , during the night shift of course, and did the math on this because 4000% is impossible.
algebra professor bear
But it’s okay, he was just rounding up to the level of awesome-ness because it’s hard to do percentages on a calculator watch.
You know what else Lee bear should round-up 4000% on??? HIS HAIR FOLLICLES.
If we could go back to those days so 1) I could continue to feel bad about the mess on top of my head 2) So, I can continue to compliment him and love him for his hair and 3) so I could eat a piece of chocolate again.
This post covered so much; old interviews, his hair, and math equations.
-Rocco
I’m super impressed. I always considered him smart, if only for the reason that he can sing and play guitar at the same time. I would even be impressed if he didn’t do it very well, but the cherry on top is the fact that he can do it very well. I can barely do either task by itself.
So, I think he’s a smarty pants for that, and also for the fact that he can write cohesive tweets in 140 characters or less. (don’t even say other people write it for him, because that would just ruin my angelic view of him) He’s like Einstein! (Albert Einstein…. not the dog from Back to the Future…. who is in fact named after Albert Einstein. Fun fact!)
Do you know how long it takes me to send a cohesive, witty tweet in 140 characters or less?? A long GD time is how long! Why do you think I have a blog?? Because I ramble. I wouldn’t be able to spew all my immensely funny, intellectual and logical creativity in 140 characters! The pressure of it alone eats me alive.
I’ll leave the 140 characters to Lee bear. We know he is good at it. (Click HERE for proof) but if your are not intrigued (or a risk taker) by that request to click there…. I have proof of his intelligence with 140 characters right here.
In that 112 character tweet (Yes, I counted… I may be off) he didn’t even need to use all 140. That’s how skillful and suave he is. (His brain is just as suave as the suave product-ed hair that protects it)
Do you really think I'd let that over the counter Suave product touch this hair???
That tweet tells us so much….
1) He is glad his album is selling for $3.99. He must have done the math too (With his watch. Naturally.) and saw that sales have increased 384893548%.
2) 
….. that means happy. You don’t even think of doing the smiley face unless your heart is smiling. And Lee D. is smart and he knows this.
3) He also lets us know he has more radio promo shows coming up. (he wasted a character with that back slash… but I’ll let that slide because he left of the “G” at the end of “coming” for good measure…. always thinking ahead)
On a side note: I’m making a bet with myself that I will only allow myself a piece of chocolate until Lee D. emerges from the depths of Chicago/LA or wherever the hell he is not wearing the grey beanie and/or a grey t-shirt. He has to be without hat AND a different color shirt for me to eat that chocolate. I swear to Oprah this is a bet I have going with myself. So as a pathetic plea to Lee (oo that rhymed) I beg him NOT to wear a hat and NOT to wear a grey t-shirt. I love chocolate…. I miss it.
Now, in the above tweet he also uses his 140 characters well. He informs us that he is looking forward to “it” and is happy about it…. and he still has no idea what his schedule is because he has no assistant.
Side note on assistant thing: Remember my fake contest for a Lee bear assistant that occurred awhile ago. You don’t remember?? Good! Because I forgot to until this exact moment I’m typing these words. But guess what??? I CHOSE THE WINNERS!!! PaulaKO1984 and MamaKat_CA!!! Let’s congratulate these ladies because they are willing to do things I don’t have patience for and they like to camp and have coffee. The only thing I ask is that you keep him on top of the whole wardrobe thing….. I know I can count on you ladies. Good luck and Oprah speed. *salute*.
Back to the real post:
I don’t really know where I was going with this except for the fact that he is a genius with 140 characters. Now, that I went and got all deep about his brain function… let’s get back up to the very shallow surface of my own mind and look at pictures because there are already 645 too many words on this page. (See?? That’s why I can’t only express myself via Twitter… Oprah didn’t make me short on words)
I don't know when this one was, but he looks 16. Once again... good research skills person who found this.
I don't use this nearly as much as I should. I apologize to you all for this.
Who me??
I'm kind of shocked and impressed by his shoes. Remind me of this outfit, the next time I make fun of him. This is runway bear.
And in honor of new shows and other exciting stuff watch this. He kinda looks like a guidance counselor in that jacket. Guidance counselor bear.
Could you imagine if he didn’t sing this song ever again? I would stand wherever I would be in this world and you would see 1 single tear roll down my left cheek. It would be so sad. And so dramatic.
-Rocco
The Lee D. Army Means Business
Posted on: January 9, 2011
I am frightened by those Lee D. soldiers. ninja men who are totally ninjas and could be nothing else of the sort! (hahahahh )
One of them has a Cowboy spur star thing…. that could definitely draw some blood. And then the other LD soldier has another some sort of weapon…. I think nunchucks.
I’ve never went to Amazon.com so quick to buy this album for $3.99. I can’t fight off nunchucks… I would just end up hurting myself.
And that’s right, you can get Live It Up for $3.99 as a digital download over at Amazon. But it’s only for today guys and gals, so do it right now before you start freaking out and crying that your favorite football team lost. Like Lee bear will over the Chicago Bears! OHHH SNAP!! (I don’t even know if they are playing today… or if they lost already and I’m re-opening an old wound. I know nothing about football)
I have to say I like this tactic of pure fear. I mean I tried to promote this and make him out to be a whore for humor…. but there is nothing funny about being a slut.
But those ladies over at Letsdothis4lee.com are legit. @WasWorthWaiting & @LeeDeWyzeIntl are the bombdotcom once again!!
I even saw on Twitter yesterday that his sales were up 73658374%. I don’t even know what that means because I didn’t have Lee bear’s calculator watch to do the math… but that sounds ridiculously good!
And you know what Lee’s face is going to look like when he realizes this is all happening:
NO WAY!
Thanks! I'm going to wear these glasses because they are rose-colored and I'm looking through rose-colored glasses
So go to Amazon.com, buy the album and then go have a good Sunday Funday… I’ll check ya on the flip side!
-Rocco
Lee D. Sells Himself for $3.99
Posted on: January 8, 2011
- In: Lee DeWyze | Music
- 11 Comments
He’s cheap! I never thought it would come to this… Lee selling himself. Is the economy that rough?? What a slut.
Whore bear
SOLD!!! For $3.99! I’ve never bought anything so life-like for so cheap!
What?? I am not a whore.
Okay I have 2 options for how you can get Lee D. for $3.99… pay careful attention.
Option 1:
Amazon.com is selling Live It Up for $3.99.
You can’t get shit for $3.99 in this day and age. And certainly not a full digital album. I just bought a 6″ veggie delight from Subway and it was $5.11. $5.11??! Can you believe that?? There isn’t even any dead animal on it. (and yes, it was quite delicious)
Anyway… I think you should get your fingers over to Amazon.com, get out your wallet and buy Lee bear for $3.99. And as a bonus, a random person will be selected to win actual Lee bear! So, just by chance you can be the rightful owner of all this:
Am I coming home with you??? Thumbs up!
He sings, plays guitar, heats up the oven, does your hair, and even gives a great thumbs up when you’re having a rough day!
WHAT A DEAL!! You could possibly have all that for only $3.99.
Now for things you definitely can’t have for $3.99:
Can't buy Chicago Deep Dish for $3.99. Try again ladies!
Two sorbets for $3.99??? In your dreams!
This delicious movie popcorn cost me 6 bucks, my first-born, and my left kidney if the kid behind the counter needs it.
Whatever I'm selling here you definitely can't have for $3.99!
And you can certainly not buy this child for $3.99
Okay, so those were mostly food examples because Lee bear seems to be only hocking us food, and I just really wanted to use that picture of him as a child rocking the Freddy Krueger horizontal stripes. (I bet this is when he wrote “Earth Stood Still”)…. but you get the idea. $3.99 is a steal… even if you lose the special edition of owning the actual Lee bear.
And now for Option 2:
This actually will cost you nothing because ItsMyT1me is a gem and 1/2.
Evidence of a gem and 1/2
Let me break it down: ItsMyT1me will actually buy you Live It Up, if you can not. Yes, you read that right… the digital album will be bought for you!!
Think of it like ItsMyT1me is the pimp and Lee is the prostitute! There is a middleman, but who cares you could still own Lee D.!
actors were used in this picture to portray the sale of Lee and protect the innocent.
If you want part of option 2… click on that picture of the tweet above and you will be sent to a place that provides you with directions… and too keep going with this awful and inappropriate analogy… it will direct you to the whorehouse.
This is great. I’m not sure what option I want to use…. either way I hope I win Lee bear! It may be the only way we get that picture.
-Rocco
Editors Note: Lee D. is not actually for sale but Live It Up is and you can actually purchase it with t hose 2 options above. Also, I’m pretty sure he isn’t a whore. (I couldn’t find any pictures of him looking like a man whore! Not one! It was so hard. I never thought I’d say this…but if he could be like a few more notches toward man slut, I’d appreciate it… a picture like that would have been useful to me during this sorry excuse for journalism.)
