Posts Tagged ‘Anne Hathaway’
JGL plays a guido who’s really into porn and Scarlett Johansson has an offense accent and loves romantic comedies. In addition, Tony Danza is JGL’s presumably porn loving dad. Loving porn is genetic.
That’s the premise of Don Jon.
I was going to support this movie because JGL wrote and directed it, but then I can only assume he casted Anne Hathaway to make a cameo and that just upsets. Who consciously decides to add Anne Hathaway to anything in your life? JGL took to many steroids to make the appropriate decision.
I have no idea when Don Jon comes out.
-Rocco
I really love Harry Potter. I love Harry and I love that ginger, Ron, but Draco Malfoy is where it’s at. The blonde asshole who is such a tool and a wizard bro it’s kind of hot? Love.
I mean, once the gay wizards started dressing Draco Malfoy in those sleek, black suits every girl wanted his wand. (Hah get it?) He alomahora-ed our hearts! (get that one?) All the girls said he could Slytherin our beds! (ok I’ll stop).
Anyway, Anne Hathaway died her hair blond and now she looks like Draco in drag. Like the gay wizards went way too far.
It’s official she annoys me no matter what her hair color. I’m over her and it.
Let’s take this for the road.
-Rocco
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The 2013 Met Gala was last night and all the stars were there. Obviously the usual suspects looked like jerks. I’m just going to list them because it’s the easiest way to do it now.
1) Kristen Stewart— you look ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know what’s worse the pant suit that simultaneously gives you a diaper ass and a camel toe or the matching maroon eyeshadow.
2) Anne Hathaway– girl went blonde so now she looks like the drag version of Billy Idol. Definitely not anymore tolerable as a blonde.
3) Miley Cyrus– Scratch my Billy Idol comment regarding the mess above. Let’s use it here. Miley Cyrus looks like Billy Idol on meth.
4) Nicole Richie– I can’t. How come I wasn’t invited? I could easily look like a fool.
-Rocco
The Revolution Went Wonky Today
Posted on: March 28, 2013
- In: Tidbits
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Sorry for the interruption in the most important news source of all time (aka The Revolution). Internet got all wonky.
We’ll be back and functioning tomorrow, so enjoy your satirical version of The Last Supper, because I can only assume that what you are all doing.
Actually– I dreamed a dream of it.
-Rocco
Please like me and my nipple dress!!!!
A source close to Anne (AKA all her friends who pretend to like her) said that Anne practiced her acceptance speech for the Oscar she knew she would win (because she has been vying for it ever since she signed her Les Mis contract) because she wanted people to like her.
Anne knows we all hate her. She knows it. Whether you admit it or not, everybody knows when they are being obnoxious (for me it’s about 20 hours out of the day— yes I’m an obnoxious sleeper because I just can not lay still) and Anne’s “I hate myself because I’m so annoying” radar was going off 24/7.
And since Anne let us know that she’s active on social media and reads everything I have a message:
Dear Anne,
If you want to be liked don’t start your acceptance speech off with “it came true!”. Oh and don’t change your dress last-minute because you’re afraid someone is going to wear a similar dress and look better in it than you do. And DEFINITELY don’t wear a dress wear there are darted nipples present.
Bye girl!
-Rocco
As If I Didn’t Like Anne Hathaway Enough– She Used The Word “Creamiest”
Posted on: February 26, 2013
“Creamiest” is almost as bad as “moist”. It should just never EVER be used. Especially when describing the sound of your name being called as you are announced as an Oscar winner for Best Supporting Actress because that makes you sound like a douche.
Check out my nipples!
Now, of course I can’t actually embed the video of Anne Hathaway using the word “creamiest” to describe her Academy Award winning experience, but I urge you all to click on the link below and watch the video of her say it because it’s obnoxious, absolutely the wrong word to use in that context, and it will make you like Anne a little bit less.
I hope you also took the time to watch the second video where Anne says that she never thanks her fans and will do so now. She lets the world know that she is watching us all on social media…. so hey, Anne!
Hope you followed my tweets during this award season— you were a hit!
PS My spell check is telling me “creamiest” isn’t even a word, so therefore Anne Hathaway is an idiot.
-Rocco
I didn’t watch the Oscars last night but I knew the moment Anne Hathaway won for Best Supporting Actress and went on stage to accept because the felt the world shake when everyone on the planet did one giant eye roll.
I didn’t see the speech but I assume it was the worst thing ever and you instantly wanted to hit her hard in the face. Is that correct? Probably.
Just looking at her hold up her award at the after parties annoys me.
I’m just glad that this means she can go away now.
I’m also glad she put her nipples away.
Someone please create the Anne Hathaway Nipples twitter account. Thanks.
-Rocco
I watched about 45 mins of the Oscars (which equals me wanting to send sexy tweets to Seth McFarlane, 3 awards that no one cares about (that short animation film looks banging) and a James Bond tribute that didn’t involve Adele) and that’s only because I thought after the weekend I had I could totally go out for a drink on a Sunday night. LIES.
As many of you may know the Academy Awards is when Oscar and I first set eyes on each other and became BFF. So, we celebrated all weekend because it was our 3 year anniversary and he made me some origami.
Okay— not really. I moved this weekend into a new home with daylight and a closet located in my bedroom, and my new palace doesn’t have internet yet. No TV and no internet— I’M AMISH!
And because of all that, of course a giant pop culture thing happened. What’s going to happen is I’m going to screen shot @rkoppel ‘s tweets and that will be The Revolution’s recap. Who is that you ask? That person is a co-worker/friend that I call Rebs and has a television.
Now, these are all out of context for me so I have no idea what she’s talking about, but hopefully you understand it all.
If not, just remember—- Anne Hathaway is the worst person. EVER.
I do want to highlight one important twitter conversation that occurred between Rebs and I…..
If I learned one thing over the weekend it’s hire movers always so you don’t have to lift one box and the word “vagina” has so many fun slang terms.
-Rocco
There’s nothing like wearing a really stupid hat and being Anne Hathaway at the same time.
Even when half her face is covered the obnoxious is seeping through that funeral hat. She loos like an obnoxious widow.
-Rocco
Anne Hathaway is in Les Miserables for about 15 minutes (or so I heard because I ain’t seeing that shit) and she thinks she should win all the awards.
And by the way, she is winning all the awards, which causes me to want to strangle myself.
Anyway, some comedian spoofed Anne Hathaway’s “I Dreamed A Dreamed” and remixed it as if Anne was begging for the awards. And the funny part is that pretty much what Anne Hathaway did, does and will do.
-Rocco
