Posts Tagged ‘Ashley Sullivan’
Rocco’s Real American Idol Recap
Posted on: March 31, 2011
This is me shamelessly promoting myself. Pardon me. I know it’s rude, but I need a little extra cash this week and since I would be the world’s worst drug dealer (I’m a really bad liar and I the po po and thugs scare me)… I have to pimp myself out and write American Idol recaps.
Speaking of drugs… remember Ashley Sullivan??
Britney Spears is my hero!
I miss this little meth head. I wonder if she’s still married. She’s probably cooped up in her trailer park listening to the Britney Spears album… with her husband of course.
Anyway… click HERE if you care to read full sentences (which, I believe to be proper English, but who knows??), and what I believe to be some pretty intelligent words.
The effort I put into that so I don’t shout hyperboles and profess my love for certain individuals is pretty astonishing.
So yeah… I’m gonna go google Ashley Sullivan and see what’s up.
-Rocco
Am I the only one who was dismayed not to see Tom Hanks at the end of the “green mile” that was in fact, not green, nor a mile long??? Probably.
Before we get into whether or not J Lo composed herself after ruining Chris Medina’s life and sending him to The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to premiere his grammatically incorrect single “We Are Words”…. let’s discuss Paul McDonald.
Yes, I’m doing this mainly because I want extra hits and people are googling Pauly M. like crazy, but I’m also doing it because… look at that smile:
Million dollar smile. He definitely had braces and he definitely uses Crest white strips at night. Or his teeth are fake. Either or.
Also, he’s a snazzy dresser. I hope the Idol gays don’t touch him and let him dress himself all season. I could certainly use the material.
He may be drunk when he gets dressed. I also have a theory growing that he is just high as a kite.
Oh and shall we not forget he wears jeggins too…
It’s like Oprah sent him down to me to keep me motivated for Idol this season. She so abruptly ripped Ashley Sullivan (meth head) from my grasps last night… but she gave me Pauly M.
I can’t decide if I should have a crush on him, and have fantasies of running around bare foot in the meadow with him… or make fun of him constantly. Either way… it’s material. Thank you Oprah.
never forget
Me and Ostrich are ready (duh)… let’s do this. E.I. *clap clap* <— please tell me people are laughing at that.
zommmmm
(I just had to google the sound an Ostrich makes and that is the best way I could phonetically spell it out. Ironically… I’d rather hear that noise over and over again than most of these contestants singing)
Oh shit… this is another 2 hours. I’m going to kill myself.
OMO .. is Selena going to come back?? Will she find the strength?!?!?! AGHH!!
She may not be street wise and all… but at least she knows not to be so DUUMMMB!
(okay.. that made no sense. I just can’t stop quoting Selena)
Of course Chris Medina took it well.. he’s going on Jay Leno. Such bullshit.
Oh well I’m glad she is can pull it together and continue to make her millions.
Karen Rodriguez:
Oh J Lo wants to drink Karen’s blood to stay young.
Of course she’s singing Selena. This season is like my dream. I couldn’t have created a better season with these great lunatics.
These people are so f-in ridiculous!!
“I’ve been a fan from the beginning”… a fan of her youth. J Lo just wants to keep her enemies close.
Robbie Rosen:
He may or may not be Jewish. He has a curly mullet. This kid is ridiculous. He’s the Anoop of this season. He thinks he’s too cool for school… but couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Wow. I don’t like him at all.
Did Steven Tyler say Robbie sang his dick off?? Wow. That sucks for his love life. At least he has the top 24 now that he is castrated.
Tatinisdfnjsksa Wilson:
She needs to go because I can’t spell her name and she doesn’t know how to sing Mamadukes favorite song ” I Hope You Dance”. I asked Mamadukes about this and she called her a jerk. When Mamadukes calls someone a jerk.. she is over it.
Wow. Mamadukes is going to be pissed. I’m still not going to learn how to spell her name. Too bad. Oopsie!
How are we only 17 minutes in?? I feel like I’ve been sitting here for 9 hours.
Brittany Missouri (??) and Jimmy Allen are out. Sad.
Tim Halperin:
He’s Amish. He looks like an Amish pastor. Do they have those?? If they did… he’d be the poster child for that.
Is he an Amish lifeguard?? Why does he have a whistle?? It doesn’t matter. I just sneezed. I’m allergic to Tim. Kid needs a makeover… I could stand him for he next few weeks though.
Julie Zorrilla:
Look at her cute little ensembles!! She’s too adorable. I love Julie Petticoat. And she needs to be around to fall in love with and marry Casey Abrams.
She such a little ball of sunshine.
YESSS!!! This wedding is happening. I can’t wait for this love story to pan out.
Oh great Lady Gaga… Julie Petticoat makes this song bearable.
She just dropped Ryan. What just happened? That was weird. I hope Casey didn’t see that.
I just ate so many Graham crackers. And they weren’t even the cinnamon ones. Lame. I don’t know why I just told you that. None of you care.
Scottie McCreery:
He forgets the words to “I Hope You Dance”, he sounds like a bullfrog and he has way too many morals. I don’t like him. I will never by any music he ever sings… I think he just told me to ride with Jesus I think?? And to stay off a black train?? Is he a racist??
HE IS NOT PUERTO RICAN!! MY ASS! BULLSHIT! <– I just got offended for all the boricuas. BUSTI- CA CA!
I want to her him sing Ke$ha…. “I got Jesus on my neck a lace!”. He better sing that next week… he made it.
John Wayne Schulz… OUT! I don’t like him either. Those last two guys are interchangeable. Maybe if he didn’t tuck in his shirt??? Just a thought.
Jovanny Berreto (??): (I have no idea what his last name is)
(HE’S THE STD GUY I WAS TALKING ABOUT!! OH MY GOD! Wow… my dislike of him just went through the roof)
Oh he took of his shirt= he is a douche bag. And yup…. I got the douche chills.
Oh grand. He made it. I hope he cha cha cha’s next week.
I missed this girls name… I spilled water. She is a maid: Lauren Turner:
I like her hair. How come my curls don’t look like that?? I’m just jealous.
SHE MADE IT! Maybe she can give me hair tips… I have no idea what her voice sounds like.
OMG! I thought that guy really fainted!!! That was so dramatic. My heart dropped.
Tawain Strong (??) and some other girl… PEACE OUT!
Rachel Zevita:
I know her ex boyfriend. I’m going to say that every week until she is out just fyi.
Her Grandma and Ry Ry Seacrest are in love. That was so sweet. This season is the season of love.
Why does she dress funny?? I’m not craaaazy about her. (This has so many words.. thanks for still reading) She’s in the top 24. She’s my source…. I have an in!
Grandma thinks Ryan Seacrest is Jesus. That is precious.
Kendra Chantelle:
(sorry I just wanted to add him.)
She sang with Pauly M. yesterday. I like her if she promises she isn’t sleeping with Pauly M.
I like her. I could deal with her. She is a really bad actor. Stick with the singing.
Jordon Dorsey:
He’s a teacher. He’s an asshole. Such an asshole.
This guy just reeks of asshole-ness. Oh great he can continue the asshole parade into the live show. Perfect.
MY GOD THERE IS ANOTHER HOUR OF THIS SHOW!!
-Rocco
I’ve never been more convinced that the people who run American Idol (and anyone else involved in the show) this season are smoking crack cocaine. I don’t know if you can even smoke crack cocaine, but they have found a way to do it.
So, last night J Lo was ready to commit suicide because they cut Chris Medina… or the guy from Lost. I’m not sure which.
*sob*
But do not fret J Lo…. bottle those tears and pour them in Nigel Lythgoe’s tea mug (because I’m pretty sure he drinks tears) because Chris Medina is making some music.
Chris will be performing a song written especially for him by Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins called “What Are Words”. The new tune will be available online Thursday.
What was the point of Idol??? To make us all hate J Lo for kicking him out??? It worked, but she did the best acting of her career. It’s a win win.
I don’t really understand what’s happening on the show this season. This is all I can come up with as of 9:30 AM:
1) I miss Lee D.
what about me Rocco??
2) I miss Simon Cowell terribly.
3) I definitely still want to make out with Paul McDonald as of this morning. So, things are looking up.
Just call me Mr. Sex Pot
4) I miss Ashley Sullivan. I wonder if they are still married?? We need an update asap!
This season is a shit show.
-Rocco
AMERICAN IDOL!! It’s 2 hours tonight. I tried to mentally prepare myself by eating an ice pop… but I don’t think it’s going to work. So, I also followed in Ashley Sullivan’s footsteps.
I read Chicken Soup for the American Idol soul DUH! I didn’t take meth though. Maybe one needs both?? Hmmm.
Ready Ostrich??
READY!
Oh good! I love when they involve The Beatles in this. Hasn’t John Lennon suffered enough?!??! The guy was shot!
Is it weird that I like seeing J Lo cry??? Probably. Do I care?? No!
These people need to know that those crazy Beatles fans will tear you down no matter how good you sing it. People thought the Beatles were gods… they will hate you no matter what.
Start crying now.
Wow… this vocal coach is the devil. I’m pretty sure she shoots flames. Shoots flames out of every orifice of her body.
She just said she eats birds… WTF is she talking about??
They get to see a show??!?! I don’t know what these bitches are complaining about. I never saw Cirque De Soleil in my life. I’ll be on Idol to see that.
I think I just saw my favorite Meth addict, Ashley Sullivan (of course) getting married in that preview. I WILL LOSE MY SHIT IF THAT HAPPENS!!
Where's the groom???
So, basically this is group night but with Beatles music. Is this even necessary?? The answer to that is no.
Stefano Langone and James Durbin:
Why are they hanging out?? I definitely have a crush on Stefano, my possible guido husband. I still want to punch James in the face. Why does he insist on wearing that headband and screaming like Adam Lambert???
James has big ears. Just saying.
Randy back off Stefano. Is Stefano gay?? This might be an issue in the bedroom.
Pia and Karen:
I don’t really care about these two. Ostrich hates them. He just stuck his head underground. Ostrich’s do that right???
Naima and Haley Reinhart and Jacob Lusk:
I think I liked her at one point… but I’m over it.
Namia.. she is urban Crystal Bowersox.
Jacob is kind of a dick I think…
I hate this all right now… I feel like I’m in a really weird church. I just lit a candle and peaced out.
Selena Y Los Dinos… you aren’t really a singer. “Play” doesn’t count as a song.
Rachel Zevita
I know her ex boyfriend. She scares me. Why does she have that on her head? I’ll ask him.
Lauren Turner:
You have a good voice. Why is there so much fog??
Tim Halperin:
I'm Amish. Where's Lee D?
WHO ARE YOU?!?!? You are like a sexy Taylor Hanson. Oh never mind you have an Amish beard. The Amish are taking over the world!
Jule Petticoat (Zorilla):
I miss casey
You better not be banging Tim… I’ll be so pissed if you don’t marry Casey!! Why aren’t you singing with Casey?? You can’t have foreplay unless you sing together! SHIT!
Jerome Bell and Precious and some other girl with awesome hair:
I’m going to hell. I apologize. I missed her name. She can sing though.
Jerome is the dick… I retract that statement from above when I called that other guy names.
I’ll never buy their albums.. this is a waste of my time.
Kendra whose last name I forgot and Paul McDonald:
Heeeey Rocco!
Wow… country bumpkins. I like it. I think I have a crush on this guy. I just want to run around barefoot with him in a grassy field. Wow. I want to kiss him on his mouth and/or beard. I LOVE HIM!!
I don’t even want to watch the rest of this show.
ASHLEY SULLIVAN!!!!!
YESSSSS!!! SHE IS GETTING MARRIED!!! Make sure you have meth… that’s all you need for a wedding. Meth and something white….
I can’t believe this is happening. I couldn’t have dreamt of this!!!
SHE IS GETTING MARRIED AT THE SAME PLACE BRITNEY SPEARS IS GETTING MARRIED!!! AGHHHH! I CAN’T STOP YELLING!!!
Wow.. she just threatened him. <— meth head.
I actually got a wedding on Idol.. it’s not who I thought… but it’s happening. Is this what it feels like to have your dreams come true??
blushing bride
And they are playing Britney in the background! OH MY OPRAH!! This show is just blowing my mind.
The devil vocal coach is back. I like this crazy bitch.
Okay… I just missed a chunk of this because people don’t understand that I’m working and I get phone calls about stupid things that I don’t even know the answers to.
Oh good let’s chat with Ashley. This girl should f-in host the show. SEACREST OUT!!
AHHAH Ry Ry just asked her if she was mentally all there? Ummm not at all.
I don’t even care about this Sophia girl. Ashley is my queen. My anti-drug ad in flesh and blood. She should just run around the school districts with the DARE program.
Steven Tyler likes Ashley… no shit. He gets a contact high just from standing within 2 feet from her.
Ashley…. you are high right now.
I hate Scottie McCreery. I hate him. He sounds like a bull frog. He is a tool.
I like Lauren/Molly. She’s my girl….
Why are they running around stage?? What’s happening??
Wow… my live stream/feed just bugged out and it jumped to 2 black guys and an olive skin guy singing and J Lo is in a sequin top.
I just time traveled. Holy shit. You okay Ostrich???
I'm okay
This is why me and Ostrich don’t get paid for this. We don’t have the tools.
Anyway… the judges are into these 2 black guys and the olive skin cat… but doesn’t mean anything.
CUTS!!
Thia, Scottie, Jordan (no idea), Ashton (no idea), Robbie (olive skin), Lauren/Molly= IN!
Lauren/Molly’s mom looks like Kate Gosselin with that hair.
White house intern= tell Obama I said Hi.
Carson Higgins= You’re a nut job. Bye.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ASHLEY SULLIVAN IS OUT!!! *SOB*
BYE!
Who am I going to write about now?? Shit.
This is going to send her into a downward spiral of meth. I hope Dr. Drew is ready.
Get ready for part dos people!
-Rocco
American Idol Spoilers
Posted on: February 22, 2011
I will NOT post spoilers. So keep reading. It’s safe.
If you look at the spoilers you are like a kid that looks in your parent’s bedroom around Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) time. YOU’RE A PUNK and you ruin christmas for yourself.
Anyway… you can go HERE to see the Top 24. I read the first name and then shut my computer screen because I don’t want to hate myself tomorrow morning.
All I know is these people better be in the top 24.
1) The bromance between Brett Loewenstern and Jacee Badeaux. They have really hard last names and are both nerds. Made for each other.
2) I need James Durbin to be there. And he needs to be a total tool and he needs to cry. A LOT.
3) I need Ashley Sullivan to be around for 2 reasons. 1) I want to see a melt down happen on live television. 2) I need an anti-drug reminder on my television. She is perfect for those two things.
4) LOVE STORY!!! There will be a wedding during the finale and Ryan Seacrest will be the minister. I’m pretty confident that will happen.
So, don’t you dare tell me who the top 24 is. I’ll never talk to you again.
-Rocco
So serene.
Does that book exist?? I’m dying to know what’s in that and what it says.
That can’t be a real book. Can anybody just read it or does Nigel Lythgoe hand it out to contestants only??
-Rocco
I just can’t get enough of this love story. It isn’t even in my head anymore… it’s on television and across the nation.
Look at her cupping his face!! That is the universal face cup before some serious congratulatory tongue action right??
Don’t deny it… you see it too.
I wonder what color petticoat she’ll wear to the wedding??? I already decided they are getting married during the finale.
Ryan Seacrest is working on getting ordained as we speak. It’s quite beautiful actually.
*wipes tears*
This is the best season yet. I have a meth addict, a love story, and let’s not forget a bromance between the two greatest nerds ever.
I must have done something good in life because Oprah is blessing me.
-Rocco
I’m throwing myself in a fake competition!! There are about 84754893 American Idol recaps that are published after this atrocity of a show airs, and I’m just a little fish in that sea.
My biggest competitor is Annie Barrett (Entertainment Weekly). She writes in a complete sentences, doesn’t make up words, is funny, and gets paid for it. I don’t know where I took a wrong turn in life but it might have started the night I drank way to much jungle juice so I wouldn’t be shy and talk to the boy that I loved. That night ended with me and my BFF walking briskly away from the Frat house because the police showed up. That might be the night where I asked “what’s the point of complete sentences?? He’ll never read my blog anyway!” *tear*
Okay… enough about my train wreck of a night… I’m going to recap these train wrecks and I’m gonna do it better. There still won’t be complete sentences, and there sure as shit will be made up words…. but all of that equals funny!! Plus… I got pictures bitches.
Are you with me ostrich???
That means yes by the way… get with it people.
First off… Ryan Seacrest’s voice over make me nervous. He takes this way too serious. How does he give 110% at all of his jobs?? I’m lucky if I give 77% at one of them. He’s a mess.
Is this the episode when they just walk in and the judges tell them yes or no. I hate this episode. This is a boring episode. Oh never mind… I don’t think it is. See?? This is why my recaps suck… because I don’t know what I’m doing.
STOP SAYING THIS IS THE BEST SEASON!!! You make the other seasons feel like crap… that’s like picking a favorite child. Jerks.
Haley Reinhart:
hey Mr. Big!!
She’s singing something about God and a child. I bet she watches Oprah. She is like Carrie Bradshaw… but not as fun and I don’t want to be her. I don’t like her… why did she clear her throat in the middle of the song??
Ashton Jones:
Jennifer Hudson will EAT YOU for singing this song. EAT YOU!! (She sang that Dreamgirls song that all the black girls sing)
Thia Megia:
THAT IS NOT HER NAME!! IT RHYMES! I’ve always wanted a name that rhymed. Nice voice, but why is she singing such an old song??? And why is she wearing that sweater??? It’s not an ugly sweater party is it?? Idol is getting fancy!
Caleb Johnson:
Can’t read music.
Hipster Girl With Glasses:
Can’t sing.
Clint JOON BUG!
He’s the douche bag that kicked out my Jacee?!?!?!? What a dick! I officially hate him. I don’t care that he looks like an eye doctor in those glasses and I don’t care that he sounds like a cat getting stepped on.. I will not root for anyone who picks on the fat kid.
Kendra Chantelle:
You’re good. Steven Tyler wants to sleep with you. You should do it. It might get you farther.
I liked this girl with the bangs.. I missed her name (rock star blogger/re-capper here!!)
Chris Medina:
Why do they bother showing him?? We know he makes it. Wait.. does he make it?? He’s not doing very well. Poor guy has way more on his mind than this…
Carson Higgins:
He may have a drug problem to BRAH!! He’s the Norman Gentle Circa 2011. Yes, you are crazy. I hope him and Ashley Sullivan hookup. (I know have 3 fake love stories going for this season)
INSTRUMENTS?!?!? I thought that wasn’t allowed. Who slept with Nigel Lythoge to get this to happen???
Julia Petticoat (Zorilla)
Singing to Casey Abrams. Obviously. Duh. They better get married.
Colton Dixon:
I think he’s going to be a huge tool. But I’m going to have to find excuses to like him. My first one will be his perfectly angled hair. That is what I call a sharp swoop.
Brett Loewenstern:
Look more awkward with that guitar. Please.
Casey Abrams:
HAHAHHA HE DOES NOT HAVE A DOUBLE BASS?!?!?!? HAHAHHAHAHA
He’s like the Lee D. with the strange instrument.
He’s singing to Julia. Duh. He’s totally going to get laid for this. I kinda have a crush on him. I can’t compete with Julia… I don’t wear petticoats.
Chelsee Oaks: (Does she really spell her name like that?? That’s dumb)
Oh now she misses her boyfriend Rob. HE WANTS TO KILL YOU!! Rob is plotting her murder as I type this.
Jacqueline left… she missed her gay boyfriend.
Chelsee.. she is not your BFF…you’ve known her for 2 weeks. You need to get out more if she is your BFF already.
She’s singing to Jacqueline AND Rob…. this is such a dramatic season of Idol… it’s like the Real World, Laguna Beach and anything on Bravo!!
Lauren/Molly:
If she isn’t sleeping with Steven already… it will happen by next week. I like her voice though and she has great curly hair. She has a great voice.
J Lo wants to kill her in jealousy.
I’m not even going to mention this guy singing about blessing a child… I’ll never buy his music… it’s not worth talking about. It’s like he’s laughing while singing. I never wanted to step into a church less in my life. HE IS NOT CRYING!??!? OH MY OPRAH!!
I want to kill myself.
I miss Justin Bieber. Like the actual Justin Bieber’s pop music right now.
John Wayne Schulz:
I’m really glad he’s wearing that hat. I love this song. Seriously. I’m not being sarcastic like that hat comment.
Stop singing Selena Y Los Dinos!! This isn’t a platform for you to annoy us all with your voice.
YESSSS!! ASHLEY SULLIVAN!!!
Ry Ry just called her a time bomb. She is going to lose it. She packed her bathing suit to wrap her meth in it, not go swimming. Duh.
Her BF is going to Iraq?? Shit…I can’t make fun of her.
Wait… I’m going to. She is having withdrawal on the stage. She would have been better off with taking a hit before she went on stage.
Dr. Drew is watching this shit and writing a letter to the Idol producers.
How does this chick have a boyfriend?!?!
Stefano Langone:
MY POSSIBLE GUIDO HUSBAND!! I don’t like him. Shit. How is this going to work??
Jovany:
Singing Marc Anthony??? DUH! You are a tool.
Jacee Badeaux:
Is that a David Cook song?? GO JACEE!!! He just gained all the love from David Cook fans… he’s in.
Scottie McCreery:
I want to lock you in a closet and turn the lights off.. you annoy me so much!
He sounds like a bull frog. Nice tucked in shirt and belt.
PS Mamadukes weeps every time she hears this song. She’s sobbing right now over her cup of coffee.
Scottie is suicidal right now and I don’t even know why… I stopped paying attention.
Whoever this chick is with the curly hair… she is literally just making up the words to “I Hope You Dance”. Mamadukes is cursing her.
Oooooo deliberation. This is haunting.
Why didn’t they show Adam Lambert Circa 2011… I wanted to make fun of him. I had a picture ready and everything… I’ll post it anyway.
Oh Room #1 better go through… those are all my favorite people! We got the crack head, the child, the crazy clown haired kid…. such good television.
THEY MADE IR!!! YAYAYAYAY!
Oh good Lauren, Casey and douche bag James are in that room. I can work with this.
Room #2… OUT! Tears flow. J Lo pretends to have a heart. Randy SHUT UP… your dumb words are not consoling these people. I’d rather hug Selena Y Los Dinos then listen to Randy’s bullshit.
Room #3… OUT! Chelsee is going home and she is going to go sleep with Rob… if he doesn’t kill her first.
Room # 4…. I didn’t know there was another room. They obviously made it. JULIA PETITICOAT!!! Oh thank OPRAH!!
DID YOU SEE CASEY & JULIA HUG?!?!?! He is so getting it in tonight!!
I WON THIS FAKE COMPETITION!!! I get to choose the winner and only my vote counts… I’m going to choose myself. Is this what it feels like to be Lee bear and always winning my fake competitions?? I like it!
I’m just going to go ahead and send this into Entertainment Weekly. With this picture.
HIRE ME! PLEASE!
That or the ostrich picture.
-Rocco
Idol this year is about two love stories for me. Two love stories and a Meth addict.
1) Ashley Sullivan is on drugs. I just say Meth because that seems the most fun to joke about (not that any drug problem is funny…but if you had to choose one, this is the one), but really it could be anything. I went through the DARE program at school (and it frightened me so bad, I have never touched the hard stuff) but Ashley Sullivan did NOT go through DARE. Whatever the opposite of DARE is… that’s what she did.
She better stay on this show as long as possible. SHE IS A DREAM!…. If I’m not going to find another muse through Idol (AKA Lee Bear circa 2011)… then I want a Meth head I can watch crumble and be the greatest Anti- Drug ad. EVER.
2) My first love story… Casey Abrams and Julia Petticoat.
These two went to prom together and they performed in the same group during Hollywood week… if that doesn’t equal fate and an impending marriage… I don’t know what does.
I am just a pile of romance when I think of these two falling in love again. It almost makes me want to audition for a ridiculous television show, in hopes to fall in love with my crush from high school. Though I’m pretty sure he already knocked some girl up ….. but that just adds to the drama and Lifetime movie of it all. If that Minnie Mouse Fantasia can have a lifetime movie just because she can’t read… these two can have a Lifetime movie because of love!
3) And for my second love story… Jacee Badeaux and Brett Loewenstern. One, they both have the most difficult last names ever… they need nicknames STAT! and two, Jacee is French (I think) and Brett is Jewish (probably)… they are meant to be. For some reason those two cultures mesh… and I don’t even care if that isn’t historically accurate.
This is such a bromance. Lee DeWyze and Andrew Garcia who??? This is that bromance circa now. I don’t know who plays what character because Lee and Andrew are the complete opposite of Brett and Jacee, but just the thought of the 4 of these together in a room sends me into a giggle fit. I don’t know why I’m turned this into a Lee D. conversation, but I did. Sorry.
I can’t wait until Jacee and Brett room together… I can’t wait until they both look awkward during group dance numbers.. I can’t wait until they eat every meal together. They totally have a secret handshake already.
Never forget the bromance that birthed the love that inspired those two nerds above to let their love flag fly proudly. (Note: Play Sarah Mclaughlin’s “I Will Remember You” for full effect)
This season is shaping up to be a gem due to those 3 things above. I can get through it now.
-Rocco
American Idol: VIVA LA JACEE!
Posted on: February 16, 2011
HEY YO!! Hollywood week is back and is group time.
I love when the producers force these people to be in groups. It inevitably ends up in fighting, tears, bad singing and super awkward moments.
This is like Nigel Lythgoe’s fountain of youth. He lives for this.
Wow. Ryan’s voice over was intense. He almost sounded like a man. A real man. Almost.
Group day gets things messed up. The groups have to get rearranged… I don’t know. I don’t really get it…. but the faces on these people tell me they are pissed off.
-Tiffany from New Jersey is a bitch. SUCH A BITCH!!
-Don’t mess with Scottie…. Scottie wears Jesus around his neck. He hates Tiffany. Christians don’t hate, Scottie.
-At this point… I would just quit. If someone one kicked me out of a group… my heart would not be able to take it.
- Why is the red-headed BOY in a group called the Sugar Mamas??? This confuses me.
- Maybe if Scottie didn’t sound like a bullfrog he’d find a group.
- Who doesn’t want little Jacee??… He is guaranteed STD free.
- Why do they feel the need to name their groups something idiotic??
- Young people don’t stress out?? There is a flaw in that logic. I came out of the womb with anxiety.
- STAGE MOM’S!!!! Thank you!!!
- Adam Lambert Circa Now is livid about the stage mom’s. LIVID!!
- I hate Adam Lambert Circa Now… he has never annoyed me more.
I wish I was Adam Lambert
- The couple that hate each other are in a group?? Please say they are in a group!! This is like a Bravo show.
-Oh I think I hate Jacqueline too. This poor guy is going to kill himself.
-Ashley Sullivan is a nut job. I knew I could count on her for losing her mind. Thank you Ashley!
- She may or may not be having withdrawals from Meth.
- Ashley Sullivan is bat shit crazy. DO NOT LET HER GO!
- Her group is over her. If he can’t handle the cameras… why did you audition for a TV show?
- YOU DID NOT KICK OUT JACEE!?!?!?! He’s a child!!!! How DARE YOU!!!
Look at his adorable face!
- This is like gym class for him all over again.
-I hope all those people get kicked out… that’s so mean!
-Oh black man Jordan is a douche bag.
- I like this curly-haired Lauren… she wants to know what’s up.
- Ashley Sullivan is on drugs. I will say it until the day I die. I’m glad she is staying though… she’s entertaining.
- Brett Loewenstern is a hero!!!! He saved Jacee! I LOVE THESE TWO!! BROMANCE!!!
I save the other nerds
- Rob is going to kill his ex-girlfriend.
- Steven Tyler “I’m addicted to adrenaline and other things”… really??
- Randy Jackson… shut up.
The Spanish /Italian Girls:
BRUNO!!! MY BOO!! They win. I like them. I wouldn’t catch anything for them… but I stamp them. Selena Y Los Dinos is so into them, yet insanely jealous. She wants to throw an actual grenade at these girls.
4 +1:
Oh I hate Jordan he’s a douche.
I stopped watching this section. I checked emails. Oopsie!!
Okay…. I’m going to focus again!!
Rebel Star:
HATE THIS GIRL. She has no friends in real life. I refuse to believe she has friends. Tiffany Rios is awful… audition for Jersey Shore and your stupid leopard print will fit in perfectly.
What could she have done differently?? Not acted like a bitch.
Not that hard.
Spanglish:
They did not wait for this group. That didn’t happen.
Bruno Mars is super popular with Idol this year… let’s hope cocaine is not.
Jorge … you are not good. And you look like a waiter.
I think Steven Tyler is drunk. That guido in plaid is cute.
Can Steven Tyler read??? I don’t think so.
Noodle Nose Girl Group: (Lauren/Molly girl)
Flirting with Steven Tyler gets people in. What kind of audition is this?? PS Steven Tyler is wearing the shiniest shirt EVER.
They are good.. I wish they weren’t looking like fools.
HOLY OPRAH!! Is this 2 hours??
I hate when this is 2 hours. I always say that I won’t watch the 2nd hour. But let’s be real… I’m going to watch it.
Just read this whole thing so I didn’t waste my time.
Colton Dixon…. I have a crush on you. I think. The 5 seconds I saw you.. I developed a crush. Nice swoop.
Cowboy man… How do you not know the words to this?? You are awful.
GO COLTON!!
I just missed that whole section… I was talking about why I love PinkBerry with Kiwi so much.
The group with Meth Addict/ Ashley Sullivan:
I love that song!!! That used to be my favorite song ever one summer. Did she make it?? I missed it.
This is the worst recap.. I’m not even paying attention. I’m going to go get an ice pop.
I think I’m gonna get a tattoo that says “Wingardium Leviosa”…. good plan??
MORE STAGE MOM’S!!!
Adam Lambert wannabe….. shut up.
I don’t like James Durbin. At all. And his group… and him.. are awful.
Stage mom group… they are better than the annoying Adam Lambert wannabe group. WAY BETTER!!
STANDING O!!! SUCK IT JAMES DURBIN!! Sorry.. I got a little out of control with that.
How do people not know the words to “Grenade”….
Nice sequin jacket Hollie.
My boy Casey Abrams!
Casey Abrams and Julie are in love… they went to prom together. I swear to Oprah that happened. I hope they are hooking up. Idol just turned into a love story for me.
Black Urban Crystal Bowersox and man with a very very deep voice.
I wasn’t even listening to them.. I was thinking about the love story I’m making up.
4 Non Blondes & That Guy group:
Carson Higgns looks like that guy who used to wear headbands last season… Norman??
I just saw an ad for The Lincoln Lawyer. I don’t know what that is… but I want to see it and I’m going to call it The Linc The Sink Lawyer.
JACEE!! He’s such a cutie pie. Brett and Jacee are bros!
I like that Stevie Caine chick.. she looks cool.
Brett Loewensteen has a really difficult last name and he’s weird.
JACEE FREE STYLED!
YAY!!! I heart this kid.. I legit have tears in my eyes. OH IDOL!! YOU GOT ME!!
I don’t even care what happens the rest of tonight’s show.
I hope these idiots suck… even bullfrog, Jesus necklace!! Oh they got through. Whatever.
Scotty is in love with Jacee…. do I sense another love story??
I say it again… this Rob guy is going to kill his ex girlfriend and this blonde chick. He’s so over this.
Wow… they suck. I don’t want to watch this anymore.
Tonight was way too long.
-Rocco
