Posts Tagged ‘Barbara Walters’
A crazy narcissist and an ice queen are not influential according to GQ. After Bab Walter’s Most Influential People list comes out GQ announces the people who add no value you to this world. I of course looked for my name, but I’m glad GQ agrees with me that I’m awesome and that The Revolution is “a thing”.
Anyway, GQ says it’s because Mad Men has been delayed from airing until 2012 and Paltrow released an atrocious cookbook, but I think it’s because Paltrow is pretentious and pretends Cee-Lo’s “F**k You” song is hers. And it’s definitely because January Jones just had her baby so she can try to get the married man she slept with to leave his wife. Not very influential for our youth.
Well, that's mean
I don’t really know why I made this an entire post…. I guess it was just to make fun of January Jones and Gwyneth Paltrow.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 6 Comments
The hell with Barbara Walters. I don’t know what her deal is….. how am I not fascinating?!??! I think the fact that I can watch 1 season of the Vampire Diaries in 3 days is pretty spectacular and says a lot about my dedication. It’s 22 hours worth of television goddamnit!
2011′s Most Fascinating People list has the regular awesome people like Simon Cowell, Derek Jeter, Eric Stonestreet and Jesse Tyler Ferguson (from Modern Family) and I’ll even throw in Pippa Middleton, so yay for Babs on those.
But then she gets down right senile when she invited Donald Trump and Katy Perry because he’s a moron with a wig and a bad tan, and Katy Perry just makes awesome songs for Glee to cover. Those make no sense and that’s not very fascinating. Look it up Barbara!!
BUT!!!! Even worse than that, Babs stroked out when she invited…. ya ready??? THE KARDASHIANS!!
Now, there’s one more spot left on the list and they will be announced on December 14 @ 9:30 when the show airs. I’m just going to assume it’s not me because I don’t want to buy a pretty dress and get my heart-broken again.
-Rocco
Anderson Cooper Would Never Do This
Posted on: May 23, 2011
- In: Tidbits
- 3 Comments
Mondays suck. There is never anything good and blog worthy going on, so I’m forced to post crap like this. <— I have to say this because once I do, good shit starts happening.
Anyway, if this woman could be a news reporter, why isn’t my ass sitting next to Anderson Cooper or Barbara Walters messing up my lines???
I can certainly screw up like that. In fact, I do mess up like that. If any of you heard me speak in public before, it usually ends with me stating that I can’t remember anything and how I suck at life.
I’m gonna go try out for The Today Show. I heard that woman Meredith peaced out!
-Rocco
PS Here’s Anderson Cooper since I lured you all here with those beautiful and silvery 5 syllables.
Katie Holmes Looks Great After Living In A Cellar For However Long She’s Been Married To Tom Cruise
Posted on: May 20, 2011
I don’t believe in many things (except Oprah), but one of the few things that I do firmly believe in is that Katie Holmes is held captive by Tom Cruise. I find it very hard to believe that a woman who is 5’10 willingly marries a scientologist who may or may not be considered a little person.
DON’T TRY TO CHANGE MY MIND!!! I stick to the morals and values my parents raised me with and I was always told that if a small man who becomes the celebrity leader of the funniest religion in the world marries a cast member of Dawson’s Creek and they have a robot child from artificial insemination ….. that woman is hazed out her brain on mind altering drugs. <— That is the exact description of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s life. I now fully believe.
Anyway, Kate Holmes escaped the cellar where Tom Cruise forces her to do experiments and serve tea to Xanu and she looks great. Nothing like a little sunshine and fresh air.
I’ll let you guys know when 20/20 calls me and asks me to do an interview on the exposure of this situation.
-Rocco
- In: Lady Gaga
- 3 Comments
Let me start this off by saying I’m not a religious person. I believe what I believe, and don’t really give a crap what you believe in, as long as you don’t go murdering people about it.
Now that’s out-of-the-way…. Lady Gaga is bat shit crazy and you know how I know?? Because when you start babbling about religion and God, you’re out of your goddamn mind. First she said “Born This Way” was written by the actual Lord because he sent her the lyrics, then she made out with a hot Jesus/Judas in her video, and now she’s pretty much saying that she’s the second coming.
On her tour being a religious experience:
“Yes, it is. It is a religious experience. But it’s like a pop cultural church. I never intended for the Monster Ball to be a religious experience, it just became one. … It’s more self-worship, I think, not of me. I’m teaching people to worship themselves.”
If her tour is a religious experience than everyone can stop going to church and just get HBO because her concert was on TV. You can see the messiah on your HD big screen while screaming at the kids to shut up while Jesus’ new woman is singing about Judas.
On how she doesn’t hate religion, she’s just better than it:
“Don’t say I hate institutionalised religion – rather than saying I hate those things, which I do not, what I’m saying is that perhaps there is a way of opening more doors, rather than closing so many.”
I’m not a huge fan of organized religion, but I don’t go running around saying that The Revolution is better than religion.
Rocco= sane
Lady Gaga= not sane
And, of course, how’s she a martyr:
“What I have learned the most from my fans, and what you will hear most on Born This Way, is that it is part of my destiny to take the bullets, but my heart keeps on beating. You cannot destroy me. Because I am an art piece.”
I just can’t. I can’t. She infuriates me when dumb shit like this comes out of her mouth. She does realize she is going to look ridiculous when Barbara Walters (or Lady Gaga forbid, I am!) is interviewing her while she’s in a straight jacket and gnawing on a pixie stick, right??
-Rocco
