Posts Tagged ‘Black Friday’
Posted November 22, 2011on:
This is almost as funny as that crazy ass Target lady.
Posted August 5, 2011on:
And since you all hang on my every word (especially about Nicki Minaj’s nip slip) I thought I’d let you know what shocked the 78-year-old white people who watch Good Morning America even more than the black boob.
Eating of fried chicken. 78-year-old white people are racist and the consumption of fried chicken on a national stage by the black Lady Gaga is nothing but offensive to them.
But what I’d like to tell the old, racist people is at least we can now explain the plastic, smock-like skirt that she’s wearing. It’s only their to avoid chicken fat drippage on those fun pants.
Come on Grandma… I know you have a pair of those.
Why do you say that???
Because of her album titled Black Friday??? Oh, the album cover too??
Oh wow. Subtle Lil Kim. Almost as subtle as your plastic surgery.
Good times. Nothing like a rap battle. There hasn’t been one in a while.
Can me and Taylor Swift just meet and become BFF’s already!?!?! We’d get along so great. I promise.
She even likes Nicki Minaj…. and wishes she was a rapper. Do I not say that everyday of my life?? The answer to that is a resounding YES!
That’s Tay Tay rapping to Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass” at a Nashville radio station. I wish she said f**k though. For some reason hearing Taylor Swift curse is like hearing a toddler curse; you laugh because it’s funny, but you shouldn’t because it feels wrong.
And let’s just reminisce about this one.
Pop star, country star, or rap star??? I think all three is do-able.
J Biebs sacrificed the discounts and spent countless hours signing his new book in NYC yesterday.
What an angel!!
Justin Bieber: The Difference Between Heaven And Earth is the Biebster’s new book and he signed 2000 books yesterday. And I know what you’re saying… “he only has 2000 fans??? Surely not!”
And duh… that number is way too low for my little angel muffin. He was originally only supposed to sign for 1000 exclusive fans, but because he is an angel from heaven, he stayed and signed 1000 more.
It’s offic. I stated it.
I know the holiday shopping season just kicked off today in the most obnoxious day of the year, Black Friday (no offense to the Black Friday lovers), and while most Americans are waiting in a long line, fighting over the last 55″ HD TV, and hoping ABC news films them camping outside of a store at 4AM, I am home watching TV and giving out commercial awards.
Yes, it is something I like to do in my head, and I even vocally announce the winners sometimes, and this is one of those times. This is something to be thankful for.
The winner of best holiday commercial is….. *drum roll*
TARGET (I gave it away in the title, but the drum roll and pause seemed necessary for effect)
That blonde cray cray in those commercials is perfect. PERFECT. I LOL, literally, every time I see her. And thankfully, Target has a YouTube channel (because all the cool kids are doing it) and has some of the commercials posted.
That isn’t even all of them… there is one where she is wrapped in alarm clocks and beat boxing “Carol of the Bells” and one where she is recording a Christmas jingle in those greeting cards where you can record your own message.
It’s so hilarious. Hopefully, you have seen some of these so I don’t sound like a nut job ranting and raving about my favorite holiday commercials.
I strongly advise you to do nothing the rest of the day and park yourself in front of the television to witness these Target gems first hand. Totes mcgotes worth it.
Yes, Lee D. is the perfect excuse to stay inside… because let’s be real, no one really wants to go shopping. There is always someone else dragging you out of bed at 3AM to get to Barnes & Noble so you can get a Kindle for $89 (Fun fact… that is an actual sale of a Kindle… I saw it on my news feed, but don’t go buy it. That’s dumb and will defeat the purpose of this post)
Lee bear will be in NYC and will be hitting up The Today Show. But don’t worry he won’t be harassed a la Kanye West by Matt Lauer and Meredith Vieira…. he will be in the 4th hour. DUH DUH DUUUUM!
Now, this is the point that most people shut off their televisions and go about their day… but BIG MISTAKE. This is when Hoda and Kathie Lee intimidate their guests and torture people watching from miles and miles away via the TV screen. It is such good television (and it segways very nicely into The View. And yes I just gave you my holiday plans word for word) and on Black Friday this good television will consist of Lee bear getting asked extremely awkward questions by a still-drunk from Thanksgiving Kathie Lee and an embarrassed by her co-host, Hoda.
This is all that you miss while being a contributing and responsible member of society:
Guests tell them to shut up. I don’t see Lee bear doing this, but ya never know. It can’t hurt him… cause drama to boost those sales.
Oh Oprah… I hope there is a dance off between the three of them.
So as you can see, I’m sure antics will ensue. It’s going to be fun.
Oh and listen to this while you decorate for Christmas (or whatever holiday you choose to celebrate) this weekend… I know it is only 2 minutes, but it’s called a repeat button.
So, the whole point of this was to say that Lee bear will be on the Today Show on November 26th, Black Friday. So, don’t go shopping.
If I am sacrificing my sleep and getting up before noon… you can sacrifice the sales.
The Biebster decided to add a little more crazy… possibly more blood shed and arrests…. and definitely more retail workers wanting to kill themselves and question why they didn’t finish college to Black Friday this year.
Why you say???
I’ll tell you why. My little angel muffin has decided to drop his acoustic album, My Worlds Acoustic, on Black Friday. And to make it even more exciting a new track “Pray” will be on the album as well.
I hear the screams of joy across American as I type this.
So watch the news that night… there will definitely be reports of tween girls (and hopefully grown women) getting into fights over this album. And if we are lucky, there will be footage.
People are complete nut jobs on Black Friday anyway, some humans are just conditioned to lose their minds…. but with this addition; all hell will break loose.
Think Tickle Me Elmo circa 1996… this is going to get good.
Oh and J Biebs… how about we get more creative with these album names kid??