Posts Tagged ‘Black Swan’
No. Not Michael you silly geese!
Natalie Portman decided to jump on the hollywood bandwagon and name her kid something that will fo sho help him get his ass kicked in school. But can you blame her?? This kid is the future. He will definitely be valedictorian of some Ivy league school and he will most likely cure AIDS (and cancer, but only if he feels like it), so he can’t be running around with a commoner name like James or Mark. Who do you think he is??
Plus, his last name is Millipied and he will obviously be a prodigy in the art of ballet and the name Tommy just doesn’t go with a little boy who rocks pink tights like no other.
Sooooo the name of the kid that has come from the womb of the black swan to save us all is…..
It is hebrew and pronounced “a leaf” as in ”oh look a leaf just fell from that tree!”. It reminds me of Alf which is the scariest slash coolest tv character I’ve ever seen, so in my eyes this kid has a lot to live up to.
Alf is so pimp.
Anyway, good luck to this kid. Not only does he have to live up to the coolness of that hairy beast above, but his mother is Natalie Portman, so he’s like Hollywood’s messiah. He better not go fooling around with those Jolie-Pitt freaks!
Friends With Benefits (the movie that is EXACTLY like No Strings Attached but with prettier people. Sorry Natalie Portman, how’s that baby??) comes out July 22nd and Mila Kunis and J Timb, who are not sleeping together, think it’s important to film a PSA about friends with benefits.
If I don’t see J Timb naked in this movie…. I want my $13 back. I’m not paying to see a naked Mila Kunis have sex. I saw Black Swan. I’ll be pissed.
HAH! Get it?? It’s because the kid is part French with the last name of millepide or something?
Ahhh I’m so funny.
Anyway, I know this is like a day late, but deal with it. While Natalie Portman was giving birth my ass was at the pool, maxing and relaxing. Who was working harder you say??? Even though she was pushing, I came out on top because I don’t have a husband who jumps on ladies who are just trying to enjoy some lunch.
How much do you want to bet this man plied (is that even the ballet term??) right before he cut the umbilical cord??? I would bet my whole vacation and that’s just another reason, my day was better than Natalie Portman’s yesterday.
Because really…. Who wants to see their fiance plie-ing all over the birthing room?? No one.
Sorry to be harsh… but dude is a tool.
How do you say “tool” in French?? Please tell me.
Benjamin Millipied not only has a last name that reminds me of bugs and is engaged to Natalie Portman, but he doesn’t like talking to the press about the health of his baby momma. And I can only assume it’s because he’s French and the reporters didn’t make peace first by offering him a baguette.
The worst was yet to come. As Nir wrote in The Times, shortly after her reporter politely asked, “How’s Natalie doing?” “Mr. Millepied stormed off, oozing exquisite hauteur. The kind, we suspect, that can emanate only from a ballet divo engaged to a megastar.”
Although our source says reporters had not been warned in advance to refrain from asking about Portman, Nir wrote that shortly after Millepied stalked away, “we were told by the organizers that our inquiring after Ms. Portman’s health was ‘inappropriate’ and that Mr. Millepied wanted us out.”
“Later still, we were told we could stay if we didn’t report,” Nir continues. “We left.”
How dare someone ask about your pregnant fiance’s we well-being!!! American pigs!
I don’t know why this guy was even being interviewed but he was taking pictures like this, so I hope it’s because he loves tights and is a ballet dancer.
Big strong man.
*spoiler alert* She’s 12. This is Jenna Rose with “OMG”. (I hope Usher sues her ass… or her parents I guess? You can’t sue 12 year olds can you??)
I think I like Rebecca Black better.
There is nothing endearing about this… she has way to much glitter eyeshadow, she’s a bad dancer, the lyrics are dumb, miraculously there is actually no melody to the song, and she couldn’t even entice people with the Black Swan effect.
I don’t know I just wasted my time watching that. This is what freaking Sundays do to me.
I hope you didn’t watch it. I’m sorry if you did.
This is hilarious. Jim Carrey cracks me up.
That is all.