Posts Tagged ‘boy bands’
Posted January 23, 2013on:
If you aren’t laughing at the obvious penis jokes from the title of that tour, then you have the mind of a mature adult.
That’s really all I wanted to say.
Seriously— where’s my Peabody?
I mean, I should buy these 1D dolls because then when people ask me who my roommate is I can say, “oh I live with 5 British guys”. And yes, those British guys would be the plastic, 12 inch versions of Harry, Niall, Louis, Zayn and Liam.
Now, let’s check out how my new roomies (that can live on my shelf) look:
Zayn’s doll looks like a high school jock that would never date me because I’m a little bit of a nerd. His quiff looks great in plastic.
Niall’s doll needs a spray tan and needs to take off the MC Hammer jeans. I don’t really understand why he has child bearing hips.
Louis’ doll looks like a gay sailor because he’s wearing stripes and manpris. Maybe suspenders will man that outfit up? Nahh.
That’s EXACTLY how Liam looks. EXACTLY!
Harry’s doll, which should be the greatest one, looks like a middle-aged, divorced college professor scheming for some co-eds. With that being said— I’d make out with him to get an A- on my economics midterm.
Long story short— If I don’t receive these dolls (ALL 5 OF THEM!) for Jesus’ birthday than my family and friends are all dead to me.
“Live Like We Are Young” (I guess as opposed to living like we are old?) is the new single from One Direction (out October 1st) and the artwork for the single cover is…. well check it out.
The orange rain jacket, the fedora, the bromances excluding the little Irish one yet again (remember him being shoved in the telephone booth?)…. my God—- it’s oh so beautiful.
And my absolute favorite part of its beauty and perfection?? No one even cares that Harry Styles is straight up pretend laughing so hard his eyes are closed.
Could no one photoshop his eyes open?
This album is already so good.
“Live Like We’re Young” can be heard on September 24th and on sale October 1st. Take Me Home hits shelves November 13th.
I’m all for the boy band doll collection. I even had New Kid On The Block dolls as a child. I remember my sister hit me in the head with the Jordan Knight doll after I cut off their rat tails (it just wasn’t cool, you guys)— so clearly pop star Barbie dolls bring families together.
When I heard One Direction had doll equivalent I thought– I need to purchase these for …. for other people? OKAY! I wanted them because I love One Direction and they will be worth money one day, right? Well, scratch that entire idea because you think the dolls will look like this:
And they just looks like mini Chucky Doll versions of themselves:
SCARY! I don’t know why Niall looks like Ellen DeGeneres, why Zayn has on construction boots that my dad wears, and why Harry Styles looks like an overweight professor from 1982?
Seriously? These are awful and frightening. I’m confident they come alive at night and suffocate little girls in their sleep.
Don’t buy these dolls.
PS Think of this post like a PSA.
Now, I know I usually say Kevin Jonas is the gay one but you never know with those boy bands made of brothers. If non- related boy bands always have one gay kid— the ones made of brothers have at least two. I’m not good at math so I can’t give you the percentage (not even in fraction form) but I know I’m 100% correct on that above statement that I just pulled out of my ass.
And what I mean by all this is I have a crush on Joe Jonas the last two times I’ve seen him.
Whatever happened to his solo career? I was into that for a hot minute.
It’s not just me. I have a few examples so get ready for your mind to be blow.
Example 1: The older generations of boy bands love One Direction. Mainly, the only older generation boy band that matters; Backstreet Boys.
That’s the little Irish one (once again pretending not to know names to keep street cred) and The Backstreet Boys posing for a picture together (clearly taken by Kevin Richardson <— I stole that joke). WHAT?!?!? MY WORLDS COLLIDED! I don’t know what’s greater?? AJ’s inappropriate shirt in front of the child (1D member) or the fact that the child fan girl-ed out with The Backstreet Boys. LOVE!
Also, click HERE to watch BSB walk around stage at the London 02 Arena while One Direction plays in the background. It’s beautiful and kind of strange.
Example 2: Glee is obsessed and jumping on the band wagon.
In the promo for next week’s episode, the prom episode, the cast will be singing “What Makes You Beautiful” because it’s a genius song.
Example 3: Puppies love One Direction. Like, actual puppies.
This is an ACTUAL Facebook post on my wall that I received this morning.
Perfect. By the way, this is my ACTUAL response in part.
I think I made my point. I should be a goddamn scientist with all the evidence I just laid down.
I can be a 25 year old female who’s a psuedo adult and love One Direction.
I can also respect the people who made this….
“You thought boy band were dead and gone, but just like cancer and aids were still going strong”
The fact that boy bands are making a come back makes me want to transport myself back to 7th grade and tell all the haters to f**k off because boy bands will always be relevant and stealing my Backstreet Boy pen is childish and something assholes do.
Deandre Brackensick, Macaroni Head, went home from idol last night.
I mean, too bad because that macaroni joke was a hit.
Anyway, that happened, and no one seems torn up about it. But what did get torn was under garments last night because hottie boy band The Wanted performed their hit “Glad You Came”.
Who’s your favorite? My favorite is obviously Max George and my god I just want him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear in his British accent.
That song is all sorts of good. I LOVE BOY BANDS & POP MUSIC!
And thank god…. because like I said yesterday, I love boy bands.
The Wanted are from the UK, so of course they produce great pop music, with perfect melodies, superb lyrical content and metaphors, and they are attractive.
Anyway, those guys are fresh from their gay club tour of America (true story) and now they are ready to release their album.
Their “flying V” (originated by *Nsync) is a little crooked, but they have the ground work laid down.
This just confuses my feelings.
Of course Tyler Shields had everything to do with this. I’m surprised Lindsay Lohan isn’t in the back dressed like a man.