Posts Tagged ‘Britney Spears’
So Fat Adam Labert On X Factor Was Extremely Obnoxious, But Kinda Good
Posted on: September 14, 2012
Jason Brock looks like Adam Lambert if Adam Lambert drank milkshakes all day and pizza all night while tech supporting.
Some chick said he reminded her of Elton John— but Elton John had better clothes and hair. That’s totally Adam Lambert hair.
Right off the bat he admitted to dating a gay Japanese man and made Britney say “Konichiwa”. And as he’s describing his stage show— once again I’m reminded of Adam Lambert because that’s exactly Adam Lambert’s performance he described.
I was hoping he was going to be awful— but he was good. Unfortunate for me.
-Rocco
- In: Television
- 1 Comment
I fully want to admit that my crush on Simon Cowell this year is getting entirely out of hand. It always was there lingering in the background and was a little nit of a joke, but now it’s for real. For realsies.
I mean, Phillip Phillips chest hair is green with envy.
Simon Cowell and Britney Spears went on Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Kimmel was not having any of the chest flair, and Britney Spears is just odd but I f**king love her.
Like Justin Beiebr says… that should be me. (And by that I mean, Britney Spears better get out of there— I don’t care how many “I’m bi-polar and looney” jokes she makes.
-Rocco
X Factor Is Already So Much Better Than Last Season– Thank One Direction
Posted on: September 13, 2012
We got Britney and Demi killing it on the judges table. Simon still being strangely sexy. And people still don’t care who LA Reid is. All that mixed together is awesome.
Britney is a giant bitch and tells people not to stare at her because it makes her uncomfortable, Demi Lovato is just looking for someone to bang and making me want to go shopping with her (and I love her eyebrows), and Simon Cowell is… well he’s still being strangely sexy with a dash of genius.
I love it.
You know what I love even more?? ONE DIRECTION INTRODUCING LAST NIGHTS PREMIERE!!
They are obviously the princes of X Factor and they obviously set the bar for success after X Factor so who better to introduce the next season?
Between Demi Lovato, Britney Spears and One Direction popping up, Simon Cowell is covering all his demographic bases and covering all the spots in my heart!
-Rocco
Don Phillips From X Factor Really Likes Britney And May Or May Not Have A Drug Problem
Posted on: September 13, 2012
Okay… so Don Phillips came back into Britney Spears’ life after their album filler of a duet from her debut album.
Donny boy came to audition for X Factor and I’m pretty sure he has an addiction problem and/or may be suicidal. And I’m not saying he’s addicted to meth or anything, more like a prescription addiction—- something like a anti-depressant.
Dude was all over the place. He was sweaty and all red and crying for no reason. He was like a bi-polar little Britney Spears loving goblin.
The awkwardness during the entire audition is palpable. You think Britney is going to run on stage and hug him in a beautiful reunion after she announces she knows him, but she avoids contact and says “no” to his bad audition.
This of course sends Don into a meltdown which sent me into a giggle fit.
“I’M SO SORRY BRITNEY! I FEEL LIKE I HURT HER”.
Don Phillips not only sent himself into a spiral of drugs and more sweaty-ness— but I think Britney took a few more pills that day.
GOOD JOB, DON!
-Rocco
Okay. First off, they need to change their name. Emblem 3? It’s awful. But despite their shitty name— I love them. (Minus that plaid number the tall one is wearing— change our shirt when you’re coming up with a group name)
My favorite part is when these bros hate the sassy European boy band guy, Mr. “I’m super famous in Germany, I’m kind of like in a boy band with a lot of girl fans following me all the time”. (I was offended with the background BSB music— let’s not degrade their music with this tool).
Anyway, the dudes, dogs and bros of Emblem 3 hated him and it’s hilarious.
Either they are stoned or they just don’t give a f**********ck. Maybe both.
So, that’s hilarious, but then they said they were going to sing an original, and right off the bat you think it’s going to be horrendous.
It wasn’t. Even the one with the crappy plaid button down from Pacific Sun is a decent rapper.
Demi Lovato and I are smitten. I just hope she sleeps with one of them and convinces them to change their name.
-Rocco
Britney Spears stuck her hand in some mud and made some silly faces. She needs to keep taking whatever meds she’s on because she is hilarious on X Factor and got to stick her hand in mud like a bunch of other famous people.
See what I mean?
I’m making a mixture of all those faces when I think of my lazy ass trying to come up with appropriate posts this AM.
-Rocco
X Factor premieres soon (I believe September 12 so look for the X Factor Live-ish blog where I will incoherently make fun of all the contestants, while simultaneously beg for a job from Simon Cowell) and the X Factor promos are rolling in.
Everyone is amped to see Britney Spears judge people for singing when she can barely lip synch properly, so of course her promos are the best.
Who is the editor for X Factor? Why does she seem so goddamn stable?? I thought she was going to be a mess.
Is Demi Lovato the crazy one? I mean, she did punch a bitch in the face before checking into rehab. Hopefully she’ll punch LA Reid on night.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 3 Comments
What does every girl do right before she plans to get married?
Cut her hair super short with and dye it platinum blonde of course. Oh and don’t forget the shaved sides— that’s vital.
If Draco Malfoy was a sorority girl who was really into Rihanna— this is the look he’d go for.
I for one, thinks she looks insane and is clearly just going for a more fashionable cry for help a la Britney Spears, but I’m sure she’ll say otherwise.
Liam Hemsworth is over this all. When does Catching Fire start filming?
-Rocco
Mariah Carey…. Does This Photo Really Say “Watch Me Judge People On American Idol”?
Posted on: July 26, 2012
No. No, it does not.
What in the hell kind of promo pic is this, Nigel? At least X Factor photoshopped some life into Britney Spear’s soulless eyes.
-Rocco
This was supposed to be a post where I just posted promo X Factor photos (which I will) but then I had an epiphany. And that epiphany is the headline.
First off, Mariah Carey. You can sit there all day and tell me how talented she is, but she’s a little crazy no matter what you say. And no matter what she says.
Don’t listen to her!!
Anyway, X Factor promo pics came out and again, as much as I looooove Britney Spears (seriously I wore white eyeliner because of her “Oops… I Did It Again” music video) and as much as I frequently sing to Demi Lovato’s “Give Your Heart A Break” into my mirror like I wrote that shit, these two are a little unstable. And by “unstable”, I mean great freakin’ television.
They all look so happy photoshopped together.
These girls are gonna be good. I heard B. Spears walked off the set one day, she’s mean and Demi Lovato hates when rappers rap about drugs (she just killed every up and coming rappers dream on that show).
And of course, once again… no one cares about LA Reid so I’m just going to post a photo of Simon and state right now that when X Factor Live-ish Blog starts this fall on The Revolution (new feature for The Revolution and Our Terrible Two’s— more on that later), I’m gonna flirt with him hard-core.
Do you think he does tanning?
-Rocco
