Posts Tagged ‘cake boss’
What if the show was so secret that no one came??? That would be funny. And super embarrassing.
But luckily for us, that didn’t happen.
Kris with a K and his new hairdo that is just blowing my mind to pieces performed a bunch of songs, but I’m just going to post the ones that I love because I’m selfish and this is all about me.
PS Cake Boss is a great freakin’ show. If I don’t marry an Italian man who owns a bakery…I failed at life.
Kris with a K is kinda, sorta talented. I’m such a fan right now.
He should probably learn the words to his song because he just made up that 2nd verse. Or is he just improving and being super talented??
I love this song in all kinds of ways. “Red Guitar” is one of the greatest pop songs. Just saying.
I don’t even want to get into how much I love “Alright With Me”. I could go on all night, and I have other things to do. This song is so perfect. SO PERECT! It’s so great in fact, I just want to go watch this video and stop typing.
Who knew I was such a Kris with a K fan??
I was perusing the web this morning and went to Top Idol because that girl is hilarious and she makes me like American Idol more than I already do, which is hard to do. I’m pretty sure she fake likes it, which is opposite of my emotion toward it… I fake hate it. I know… it’s complicated.
Anyway… as I was reading that, there was a post about Adam Lambert, his birthday, and his fans that bake him cakes.
I have told the story before that I used to bake cakes for AJ McLean’s (Backstreet Boys) birthday, but it wasn’t super serious to me, and it was more about the opportunity to eat a spoonful of icing from the jar without buying it for the specific purpose. Because that’s weird. Delicious yes, but weird.
Even with that declaration of the truth of why I baked a cake (oh and I absolutely love him…. I adore him.), I read and see these cakes that were baked for Adam, and I just…. I’m ashamed.
I mean take a look at that above. They paid someone to make that. I had to BEG Mamadukes to buy a box of Duncan Hines and this person paid at least $50 for that. WTF MOM!?! AJ deserves more than a $3.99 cake from a box.
There is even ribbon on it. And there is a whole prayer to Oprah. Cake Boss must have done this shit, because someone with the shakes for Adam Lambert can NOT do that.
Side note: Adam Lambert has fabulous eyebrows. And I now know he has them because a drag queen does his make up. Regret #54 in life.
Homemade cake???? YES! So far, I’m a good fan. Penis Candle??? NO! I never had a penis candle on AJ’s cake. Is this a birthday cake or a bachelorette party??
There is a penis candle on that cake!!!!! Is anyone else shocked by this?? Straight men do not want a Va Jay Jay candle… why would a gay man want a penis candle??
This is not a regret in my life.
That is a display… that is an installation art piece. I did not do that for AJ. Even as a 13-year-old I didn’t have the time for that. I was learning Algebra.
This is more my speed. If Martha Stewart would beat you and then drink your blood that spilled to make herself stronger because of the atrocity you baked that you call a “cake”, then this is the cake I would make.
I like the messy frosting… the jelly bean border… and the end of the blue sprinkle bottle thrown onto the cake.
I’m calling Food Network. This person needs a show for us normal folk.
I love everything about this post.
Posted December 14, 2010on:
*Warning: This is what happens when I have an unlimited amount of time to write a post. Way too long and way too much detail and pictorial evidence to my clarify/justify my rant… as if that makes it any more sane*
This anonymous woman is the queen of what to not talk to Lee about. She could have a whole seminar on it. A traveling seminar. A traveling seminar that people will pay for. Not me of course, because I got all the schooling I needed in 7 minutes thanks to YouTube.
I may have issues with what to ask him, but now at least I know what NOT to discuss with him.
First off, Queen Anonymous,… back that camera up. It’s all up in his face… I feel like I can see his pores. (PS nice ‘stache Lee bear) I’m sure the camera was just zoomed… but I envisioned the camera man holding the camera and inch from his face. Kind of like this:
The highlights: (I imagine this is what sport enthusiasts do after a big game… the big wrap up!)
1) Did you do anything fun? No, not really. (hahhaha I was expecting a little anecdote… but he couldn’t even make one up… every interviewer’s worst nightmare.)
And on to the next question Jim!….(that’s my co-sportscaster obviously)
2) Did the other Idol people pass you a torch?? No, that’s something you imagine. (Yes, lady it’s like a secret society and they all get Simon Cowell’s face branded on their ass. I can’t tell if he’s annoyed by this woman yet, or if it’s the camera all up in his grill.)
One impressive thing, Jim (yes, I’m still talking to my cohort) was the question that he didn’t have an answer too….
3) What’s the unexpected surprise? (First off, that’s redundant. But he actually thought about something and didn’t give a robotic answer… good job interviewer lady.)
And then she lost it with this one… Major fail Jim, major fail!
4) What’s the one thing you miss about the paint store?? The coffee?? (Why would coffee be at a paint store?? He can’t even look her in the eye. And that’s pretty hard considering the lens is 1 inch from his cornea. He looks like he wants to punch her.) [Now, I'm just using that for comedic effect, I'm sure he doesn't actually want to hit her... but hyperboles are more fun and good for blogs! Trust me.]
** Okay at this point… I knocked my juice ALL OVER THE PLACE! All over my Christmas presents that were already were kind of damp from when I got caught in the rain. I just wanted to let everyone know this because 1) if friends and family are reading this… your gifts are kind of sticky. I apologize. 2) I lost the whole mode of sportscaster with my fake cohort Jim… he left. 3) This is why I insist people of all ages drink from a juice box**
5) Favorite reality show??? (I had a mini fantasy that he’d say Jersey Shore… or Cake Boss or something. But, Discovery Channel is just as good. Smart. Everyone loves a nerd.)
6) Tony Soprano is a fan! You’re a made man dude!
7) DeWyze family holiday traditions??? CHRISTMAS JAMBOREE!!! Or whatever holiday they may celebrate. If this isn’t played on repeat for 24 hours at their house… I never want to be there during a holiday. Not even on Flag Day… don’t invite me Lee bear. I won’t come.
8 ) Into Polygamy?? You should have said Sister Wives was you’re favorite reality show. Would have made all those girls you’re now legally bound to have some hope.
9) You’re album is bouncier and poppier than expected! Do people tell you that? No, not really. *punch*<—– hyperbole, not actual violence.
10) He’s looking forward to not talking to you… it doesn’t matter if it was the performance or wrestling a tiger. It’s not having a conversation with you.
(completely disregard the outfit changes that occur in my picture story. Tiger wrestlers have costume changes. duh)
I’ve learned so much! My hard-hitting interview/photo shoot/making him love J Biebs session with him is going to be so exciting for him.
I’ll even let him punch me, if he doesn’t laugh and/or think it’s the most fun ever. (I won’t let him hit me… I’ll just let him throw a very soft baseball at my foot… underhand)
Ohhhh the question of the century.
I don’t really understand Secret Santa because I’ve never done it before. Or maybe I have?? I don’t recall doing it in my pseudo adult life, so if I did, Mamadukes ended up buying the gift for me.
From my limited knowledge you pick a name out of a hat/bowl/bag and whose ever name you get is who you have to by a gift for… right??? And just because you got someone’s name doesn’t necessarily mean they have yours…. correct???
What if you got someone you hated?? That would be a hard gift to get, when all you want to do is give them the gift of slapping them in the face. But on the other hand, you would probably pray to Oprah that they got you and their gift would be not being a part of your life. Wow, I just brought the holiday cheer waaaaay down. I apologize.
Anyway… now that I have the logistics figured out….back to the topic at hand.
I was walking the streets on NYC and Lee bear texted me and said this…
Well it’s the holidays! I’ll be doing a “Secret Santa” promo with Verizon @vcastmusic tomorrow, check out they’re twitter for more info
And by text I mean his Twitter message came to my phone… but I pretend he’s my buddy.
My curiosity got the best of me and I went to VCAST Music to look at the “instructions”/”info” (I use those words for a lack of better ones. You can go HERE to really get the info). This lasted for about a minute, I got bored and came to write this. So, I don’t really get what the contest or promotion is… but who cares… LEE D IS INVOLVED and my brain was oozing with ideas! (You should probably enter and then win so you can tell me all about it!.. Good luck!)
The question that penetrated my brain was… if I accidentally got Lee bear’s name what would I buy him??
(And by the way it would obviously say Lee bear written out in his sloppy handwriting. I’m totally assuming he has sloppy handwriting because boys do, at least that what Mamadukes says. She says I write like a 12-year-old boy, and that is her way of insulting my penmanship. First off, Mamadukes that’s rude, and second, that’s very sexist)
It’s hard buying a gift for Big D (that’s my father not Lee’s father.. didn’t want any confusion. I in no way know Papa DeWyze, though I’m sure if I did I would be honored to bring him gifts), let alone a stranger…. I pondered this during my 40 minute walk. A few gift ideas crossed my mind…
1) A teddy bear, but this is only because I call him bear (and I still have no idea why I do… I apologize for that) so that’s not a good idea…and it’s too girly (now I’m being sexist oopsie!)
2) A car! but then I remembered I can barely afford to put money on my metro card (hence the walking in 20 degree weather ) and plus he has a car. That black one with a splash of plaid. Not a ride that will help you pick up chicks my friend. (but hopefully he sold it for a new whip)
3) A belt! Totally practical. And his pants are always droopy from what I hear… and see.
4) I could bake him treats??? Nah! Another bad idea… I’m not a good cook/baker. I need to come to terms with that… as much as I watch Cake Boss and Amazing Wedding Cakes, I’ll never be a pastry chef.
5) At this point I’m feeling really down and out and contemplate getting him Bath & Body Works shit, because that’s what you get someone when you have no idea what to get them.
6) A candle?? I’m Really running out of ideas and starting to panic.
7) A bottle of wine. Everyone loves some vino…but maybe he likes beer?? Maybe he is hardcore and just does shots of Jack Daniels. I just don’t know!
7) The Ke$ha CD??? If he likes Jack ,he may like Ke$ha…. but #6 was an assumption so #7 is a double assumption. Never good.
8) I finally settled on a gift certificate to the movies!! Who doesn’t love going to the movies?? NO ONE, that’s who! Everyone loves the movies…. (he better like the previews) I’ll even put some extra cash on there so he could get some jujubes to munch on.
OMO (oh my oprah!) I may be the best Secret Santa present giver ever! (lie)
What would you get Lee D. if you were his secret santa??
Oh, and feel free to top my movie tickets idea because he probably doesn’t have time to go to the movies now that I think about it more. He would just pass them off to a family member, someone on his crew, or a homeless man who is dying to see Tron: Legacy.