Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Posts Tagged ‘Elijah Wood

I’m going to make sure I’m single when The Hobbit comes out, because I just know the nerdy guys I prefer to date will make me go see this, and then it will be over, because there is nothing less attractive than a man shedding tears of joy over other small men with big feet in New Zealand.

You know another man who will try to take a woman to see this?? Big D will attempt to get Mamadukes to see this. I don’t want to be there when he suggests this movie.

1) I couldn’t tell you what this movie is about because this trailer did not inform me.

2) I thought that goddamn ring saga was over!

3) Where the hell is Elijah Wood??

4) GOLLUM!!! I’m seeing it. Forget everything I just said… I will see this with my nerdy boyfriend and then he’ll get rid of me because of my weird obsession with the hairless bi=polar, sociopath that is Gollum.

How could you not love that face??

Do I have to watch the Lord Of The Rings movies to get this movie?? If so, I better get on it.

-Rocco

 

Is he?? *edit* I googled it. He’s 5’6. Not hobbit height, but short enough.

He’s like the more attractive, cooler, less scientology psycho version of Tom Cruise.

Elijah’s HILARIOUS FX show, Wilfred, got picked  up for a second season. I highly recommend you ch-ch-check it out!

-Rocco

Tell Samantha Ronson to take her drunk ass off  the 1′s and 2′s because Elijah Wood can wicky wicky just as good as her. And he doesn’t drunkenly drive at 10AM, as far as I know.

This is a really stupid post. I’m sorry. I just find it funny that a 5′ 5″ man DJ’s.

-Rocco

I have a little crush on Elijah Wood thanks to his new and hilarious show, Wilfred (Thursdays on FX at a time I do not know). But then my friend asked me if I knew if he was gay or not, and now I’m confused.

Anyway, here are some pictures of him because who knew he had a sense of humor and could act. That freakin’ hobbit costume never showed it.

Hmm he does have on nice shoes???

-Rocco

After a divorce from the Puerto Rican Gollum, there’s only one place for Jennifer Lopez to go…. MIAMI!  You thought I was going to say fictional Middle Earth, right??? Stop being a nerd.

I'm never reading the Revolution again!

Anyway, J Lo goes to Miami because she’s a middle-aged divorcee and it’s her birthday, so who do you think she plans to hang out with?? THE SCIENTOLOGISTS!

Seriously. Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are going to her birthday party in Miami and I’m sure John Travolta will jump out of a cake. *crosses fingers*

And now I’ll post an awkward photo of Latin Gollum, J Lo, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise creepily pointing at Jennifer’s pregnant belly because I’m sure Xenu needs a full body scan of the embryos.

Have a great birthday J Lo.

-Rocco

Wilfred is pretty dope show. Whenever their is an Australian man in a dog costume who smokes weed, I’m gonna be a fan of that show. It’s basic scientific fact.

Anyway, when did Elijah Wood get sexy??

I’m gonna have my friend drunk dial him again so I can ask him.

-Rocco

Whichever option he finds less creepy….. let’s go with that one.

That little tweet above is Mr. Warm And Inviting Eyes stating that he loves Elijah Woods’ new show, Wilfred, that airs on FX on Thursday nights.

You know who else enjoys the sarcasm and wit of that show??? ME!

This only means one thing. And you know what that is. Me and The Skibster are soul mates.

But seriously. You all should watch Wilfred (but you can’t be soul mates with The Skibster so back the f**k up!) because it was recommended to me by fellow Revolution-er, Cindy, and she is clearly the smartest woman alive. The show is perfect. It’s sarcastic, charming, completely messed up and disturbing…. aka it’s great TV.

Watch it. But don’t you dare think of The Skibster watching it in his bed while eating Skit-tels. Wait… what???

-Rocco

Elijah is making a comeback like a mofo!! I haven’t heard anything about him since his Lord Of The Ring days and I just assumed him and Gollum went to live together in a common law marriage. I even began to believe they adopted a Russian baby.

But that’s not true. He’s in some show on FX called Wilfred and I think he hangs out with a guy dressed like a dog.

And now that American Idol episode makes sense. (never mind if you have no idea what I speak of…. I’m not even going to explain it)

Anyway, Elijah Wood is back and he’s adorbs.

I’m pretty sure he’s the actual height of a hobbit, which just means it’s all fate.

-Rocco

See what I did there? Put the new Beastie Boys song, “Make Some Noise” into the title while adding one of the music video stars as well. GENIUS!

TatisR recommended I check out the new Beastie video due to all the cameos and she is pretty genius as well now.

This video is perfect. Look at all the people in it:

Seth Rogen, Elijah Wood, Danny McBride, Rashida Jones, Will Arnett, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Kirsten Dunst, Jason Schwartzman, Chloe Sevigny, Will Ferrell, David Cross, Ted Danson, Jack Black, Steve Buscemi, Stanley Tucci, Meat Loaf, Orlando Bloom, Rainn Wilson, and John C. Reilly.

I totally stole that from a comment on YouTube so if it’s wrong or someone is missing… talk to them.

I’m not even a Beastie Boys fan and I kinda like the song too. I must be growing up and expanding my musical tastes.

-Rocco

PS I’m gonna need more Elijah Wood in my life. Like, on a daily basis.

I have a friend who drunk dialed Elijah Wood.

 

call me!

 

The only point of me posting that picture is to tell this story. So, if you came here for Elijah Wood information… go elsewhere. You’re not going to get it here. This is all I have:

The 30-year-old actor is currently starring in the new series, set to premiere on FX in June.

Elijah stars as Ryan, a depressed man who imagines his pet dog Wilfred, played by Jason Gann, as a man in a suit.

Anyway, back to my story…. my friend drunk dialed Elijah Wood.

Basically, she got his phone number from a friend (I don’t know how he got it) and proceeded to call him pretending to be Ramona, a british woman he once hung out with in NYC.

And I know what you’re saying… “Rocco, this is an awful thing to do. Not a good plan!” That’s what I said to her.

Oh, and I also said… if you’re going to drunk dial Elijah Wood you should have at least asked him about North and Bruce Willis.

North is possibly the greatest piece of cinematic history. It tells the story of a boy named North (Wood) who gets to divorce his parents (granted by the easter bunny…. Bruce Willis. Obviously) and go find new parents. You can see the drama that unfolds. (by the way… there is an Amish scene in there. Good times)

And I can’t even talk about the all -star cast! Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Drefyus, Bruce Willis, Kathy Bates, John Ritter and many many more.

THAT’S REBA MCENTIRE AND DAN AKROYD!!!

By the way… I just found the whole movie on YouTube I’m going to go watch it.

-Rocco

PS Okay… this was to tell the drunk dial story and to bring up North. Greatest. Movie. Ever.

 

No wonder we had lunch 9 times!

Wow. Such a tangent.

 


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