Posts Tagged ‘Farmers Daughter’
Crystal Bowersox wants you to name this song because she has no idea what to name it. I guess she’s not that inspired.
I have a few suggestions:
1) Home
2) Home Is A Place
3) Green Grass Grows
4) Rocco Actually Doesn’t Hate This Song
Any of those names will make the song a hit. Trust me.
-Rocco
Crystal Bowersox Is Now A Cowgirl
Posted on: April 29, 2011
I’m not gonna lie… I was eating Reese’s Peanut Butter cups and talking about second degree burns during her performance so I kinda was half listening.
The song isn’t bad… just not something I’d be dying to listen to on my iPod. Kinda honky tonk, but it’s a fitting niche for her.
I do love that big harmonica guy… he was really into that harmonica. He was my favorite part.
The performance was exactly what she did on the show, she sounded the same… which I guess is good because that means she was always herself. Right?? At least she didn’t sing a depressing song because last night was heartbreaking enough for me.
Ryan didn’t want to talk to her I guess?? Awkward.
-Rocco
It may be the black plague that is currently battling my immune system right now that is making me delusional enough to sit lay and watch this whole performance of Crystal Bowersox’s “Mine All Mine”, but I did.
1) The song was nice. Pretty. It might be a car commercial though, because for some reason she’s perched on top of a car.
2) She’s so selfish. Mine all mine?? Are we a toddler now?
3) I hope this wonderful person that is hers all hers takes her shopping soon.
-Rocco
Wow. This takes the blue ribbon for cracking me up with one simple image.
I read that Crystal Bowersox performed in Mexico (hola!) and I was not expecting her to dress like my Grandfather, who thinks it’s Hawaii when it’s July on Long Island.
I swear to Oprah my Grandpa-pa wore that exact ensemble to my high school graduation. And his wife wore a matching outfit. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life…. I just told my friends the heat was affecting his judgement.
I’m just going to assume she got wasted on tequila and then got dressed because that’s the only way I can look at that outfit and respect it.
And plus, that’s what Mexico is for; bananas and getting wasted on tequila. Oh and going to see those awesome Mayan ruins… while drunk on tequila.
-Rocco
Crystal Bowersox Needs A Drummer
Posted on: March 1, 2011
I always relate the Grand Ole Opry to being southern and country. Don’t correct me if I’m wrong… I’ll still think that.
Crystal Bowersox was invited up on the stage and it was sweet, she freaked out and was honored… but then she turned southern.
Where is she from?? Wherever it is, do people there have accents??
I don’t know why I used this picture. It has nothing to do with this… it just seemed appropriate.
Anyway, her songs are pretty and I’m glad this one isn’t about sad times with children…and I’m thrilled this isn’t that stupid metaphor one about 18th century builders and loving relationships… but girl needs a drum kit or a piano, or something.
KILLING ME!
Are you still awake?? See what I mean??
Get her a band. Shit, at this point I’d even approve of her husband riding her coattails and learning to drum.
In the wise words of Janet Jackson… GIVE ME A BEAT!
(Wow. I just related a member of the Jackson clan to someone with dreadlocks who fakes a country accent when she’s hanging down south…. I’m good)
I wonder how her fertility is going??
-Rocco
Oh good. This should work out well. The rest of Hollywood is really fertile so why not Crystal B.
Just dropping some eggs
Okay… I’m going to tear this article apart because I feel hilarious right now in this moment. So, if you are going to freak out… feel free to yell at me (I comment back on EVERYTHING fyi).
Let’s start with the opening line.
In the eyes of many ‘American Idol’ fans, last season’s runner-up Crystal Bowersox was a more interesting contestant than eventual winner Lee DeWyze (she at least has a more captivating name).
Just because your hair is weird doesn’t make you more interesting, for starters. More captivating name?!?!? True it has an “X” but so does both their DNAs. I don’t see a “Z” floating around her name or in her DNA. The “Z” component is a new gene found in DNA and only people like Lee bear have it. Just saying.
She suffers from diabetes, was a single mom and grew up in a family that was neither rich nor particularly stable.
I heard.
I used to be a cat lady [laughs]. I love cats. I have four who are stranded at my dad’s house because my new husband is allergic to cats, so I’m a cat lover. And I knit [she laughs and shows off her socks]. I made these. These are fabulous, right??
None of this shocks me.
I really want to get knocked up! [laughs] Plainly put — I want to have another baby. We’ll see how I can fit that into my work schedule. Life’s a little hectic and crazy right now even with one. But my husband and I would definitely like to expand the family.
GOOD PLAN!! Nothing like a baby to get the song writing process going. I’d love to hear a concept album about your gestation period. I’m serious… I want 9 songs. One for each month.
Ohhh look who’s jealous!
You're having another baby!! Now, I'm definitely hanging out with Lee D.!!
Cool bear
That “Z” gene is just oozing. Trust me. You can google it.
-Rocco
Old Women Love Crystal Bowersox
Posted on: February 15, 2011
This cracks me up. I don’t get this. I though Gina Orr was like the devil and did crazy things to get Crystal Bowersox to catapult into superstardom.
I hope Gina Orr didn’t give up one of her children for this… because this is dumb.
Old people read Ladies Home Journal… and I read that when I’m trying to forget that I’m at the dentist office. It has like shitty recipes, adult diaper ads, and ‘how to adhere your dentures on properly’ articles.
Why is Crystal Bowersox targeting this demographic is beyond me. But hey…. it’s exposure right??
I’m pretty sure this song is depressing. Old people will kill themselves… they already don’t have that much to live for.
Way to go Gina Orr. Kill old people.
Oh and just one more thing so Crystal Bowersox fans have a real reason to threaten me via mean comments (I’ll write awesome comments back.. so feel free)… all her songs sound the same. Could not tell this from “Farmer’s Daughter” if you paid me.
-Rocco
- In: Crystal Bowersox | Music
- 6 Comments
Did you miss me??
Shit. How is she going to know I’m her number one fan??
I actually kind of forgot about her. Oopsie!
Apparently, she ditched her husband and couldn’t perform that song about building houses (or is it a real dumb analogy about relationships?? I don’t know)
This was a good performance. The people there look like professors and they look really clueless at why someone from American Idol was singing about a bad mothers.
I’m thoroughly depressed now. Thanks Crystal.
-Rocco
(I’m not calling Lee bear and ass… I promise. I’ll explain. It’ll all make sense. Well, as much sense as I usually make)
When I wait until 4PM (eastern time) to post something on Lee D…. I expect something spectacular to happen. Well, nothing did. This is what I got.
That’s all. Sometimes I wish you were a little crazy and did stuff for attention Lee D. Though you spelled “good” extremely wroooooooong…. nothing was exciting about that.
Though, a bunch of people responded to that (so you got attention), I’m not going to. I’m not rewarding you for giving me nothing funny! After I called you pure entertainment yesterday, this is what I get??
I retract that statement and say your fans are pure entertainment…. you’re just the topic.
So, because of all that above…. I come to this.
I YouTube-ed (I have no idea how to make that a verb) “Lee DeWyze funny” and this pops up.
Kris with a K “checking out” Lee D.
1) Way to look like an actual human being in that outfit. I approve of Gap bear. Gap bear wears blue.
2) Lee wants nothing to do with that plaid car. He’s really regretting designing that. He probably just made it look like that so he could sit there and color. He didn’t know they would actually manufacture it and expect him to drive it.
3) I don’t really understand the point of this. It’s supposed to be Kris with a K checking out Lee D…. I think he was just getting a good look because that’s one of the last times he wore an appropriate outfit with color.
4) I’m still really annoyed with that car. And if it’s possible, Crystal Bowersox’s car looks worse.
5) You’ve all seen that a 19 times right??
Ughhh… what am I going to do with this??
Thank Oprah Idol is on tonight.
-Rocco
The ‘No Shit!’ Story Of The Day
Posted on: January 19, 2011
- In: Lee DeWyze
- 8 Comments
Shocking.
This is going to be a picture story.
We're friends!
Lee D: Ummmm?? let me think about it. Crystal: Take this Cheerio from my hand and come tour with me
Crystal: You sure you don't wanna tour with me?? Lee D: Yea I'm sure.
Reporter: So it’s true that you guys aren’t touring together??
Crystal: I begged and pleaded…. but he’s refusing. I’m still working on a few things.
Lee D: I still wish this interviewer was Oprah… or Rocco.
Hmmm what can I do to convince Lee D?? I KNOW!!
*dance dance* DADDY!!! Every little thing is gonna be okay... as long as you stay heeeeere *shake shake *
OH NO!! Get that dancing child away from me!
This has gone on for way too long, for news that is so stupid and obvious.
And I realized I haven’t said Lee’s proper name once… Lee bear.
Much better.
-Rocco
