Posts Tagged ‘Golden Globes’
Taylor is done dating boys that she has to buy alcohol for, so she’s set her eyes on an older piece in the form of my blue eyed boo, Bradley Cooper.
Taylor apparently asked Jennifer Lawrence to ask Bradley Cooper to check a box “yes” or “no” about being her new boyfriend, or her writing material.
Bradley must be receiving my love letters because he shut this down!
“Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor. First of all, her reputation precedes her. Bradley is very wary of dating someone who is a bit of a serial dater like Taylor. He thinks she’s far too young for him and wants to date someone his own age, not 16-years younger because he’s ready for something serious. It was a little awkward for Bradley . Jennifer came to him and told him that Taylor was interested in getting together. He had to politely decline, knowing full well that Jennifer and Taylor are friends. It was an ambitious move from Taylor, but she’s going to have fixate on someone else as Bradley’s just not that into her.”
Ouch! It’s going to a great song because as I know, poems about Bradley Coopers face, skin, hair, eyes, body, clothes, brain, smile, perfect teeth, laughter, etc are really really easy to write.
-Rocco
Now we can all understand why just looking at Alexander Skarsgard gets you pregnant.
I don’t know how Alexander and Jon Hamm (and their penises) haven’t found each other yet. It’s quite extraordinary.
But seriously, the more I look at this photo (because it’s my job to look at it and analyze) one can argue that the front of his pant just folded into the shape of an abnormally large penis. But— that is just not fun!
It’s his penis. Let’s go with that.
-Rocco
Listen. You all think it, and I just said it.
Damian Lewis is known for running around with a bomb strapped to his chest, but on his down time he’s apparently British and strangely very sexy.
I mean, I love me some Brody (terrorist or not, I want to sneak away into that cabin with him a la bi-polar Carrie), but when I found out this homie was British– I squealed. I had no idea. It explains my love for him and is an excuse for his gingerness.
Anyway, Damian Lewis won for his role in Homeland last night at the 2013 Golden Globes. Oh and I called him my boo about 14 times.
Don’t t pretend that you wouldn’t run this guy to the border if he was accused of terroristic activities.
(Am I now on a watch list because of the amount of times I said the word “terrorist”?? The cabin with Brody is looking clearer and clearer in my future.)
-Rocco
Never Have I Been Into A Photo More: Leonardo DiCaprio & Bradley Cooper Embrace Edition
Posted on: January 14, 2013
What I wouldn’t give to be the meat of that man hunk sandwich.
They are the ying and yang of my heart. Bradley Cooper and Leo DiCaprio weren’t just rubbing elbows (and comparing blue eyes by candle light) at the 2013 Golden Globes, but they were also bro-ing out at some other event this past weekend.
I want these two to have a reality show.
They look so happy together.
-Rocco
AnnE Hathaway. STOP IT.
I couldn’t even get through her Golden Globes speech — I fast forwarded through that shit— but I just had to post about her intolerable self.
Let’s all agree that AnnE Hathaway is the only person on planet earth who would make a comment about how her name is spelled wrong after winning an award.
I hope she realized that it wasn’t cute or charming. If she was trying to make a joke that shit blew up in her face and made her haircut look even worse because she came off like a giant, pretentious asshole.
Also, no one says the word “gauche” unless you live in Downton Abbey. If AnnE lived in Downton Abbey– Maggie Smith would END her.
-Rocco
And that’s just because Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper and Robert Pattinson were all in the same room losing awards and handing shit out.
1) Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t even care that he loses every time. He just doesn’t give a crap anymore. To him, these award shows are just a reason for him to put on a suit and get laid. I’m sure Victoria Secret Angels feel really bad when people lose awards and sleep with that person. I’m sure of it.
2) Bradley Cooper and his tousled hair and blue eyes happened. His blue eyes didn’t even stop shining after he lost his award.
3) Robert Pattinson got a haircut and dropped that bag of dirt he carries around with him, so he was a beacon of shining light. (He gets two pictures because I play favorites)
Besides those 3 faces, the only other important parts of the Golden Globes was Jodie Foster coming out and just being a crazy lady, Glenn Close drunk dancing and Taylor Swift showing of her “losing” face.
-Rocco
How it took 70 years to come to this (minus the fact Tina Fey and Amy Pohler weren’t around for it for about 30 years) is beyond me.
-Rocco
Remember When George Clooney Said Ryan Gosling Was In Thailand With Prostitutes?
Posted on: January 18, 2012
Oh good times.
Not only was George Clooney winning awards at the Golden Globes and talking about Michael Fassbender’s giant penis (seriously video below. 1:50 mark)…..
…. he was also talking about how Ryan Gosling is probably sleeping with Thai hookers.
“He’s in Thailand . . . and you know what you do in Thailand.” — George Clooney, on the whereabouts of Ryan Gosling
I just hope he wore shoes this time.
-Rocco
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What the what happened to Cameron Diaz?? I mean, she always looked like a corpse with XY chromosomes, but this is just out of control.
Cameron Diaz chopped her hair (I can only assume it’s because Justin Timberlake is possibly, maybe engaged and she’s reeling) and she looks like Glenn Close… if Glenn Close decided to let herself go and always reprise her role in 101 Dalmatians.
Someone get her a weave! I hear she’s with Puff Daddy now so he wouldn’t mind the weave one bit.
-Rocco
Remember yesterday when I said Lindsay Lohan probably snuck into a Golden Globe after party because there is no way someone invited her???
Well, I’m a genius because that’s exactly what happened at the Harvey Weinstein party.
On Wednesday the Weinstein Company hosted a pre-Globes party at the Chateau Marmont in L.A., and an insider says Lohan snuck in via the hotel’s back entrance. She then “made her way to the entrance for photo ops,” where the Weinstein firm’s Globe nominees, Jean Dujardin and Bérénice Bejo from “The Artist” and Kenneth Branagh and Michelle Williams from “My Week With Marilyn,” were being snapped. Bradley Cooper also showed.
I owe Lindsay an apology. It was a PRE-Golden Globe party… not even an after party. Bitch couldn’t even wait until after the awards.
She probably passed out her Playboy issue.
-Rocco
