Posts Tagged ‘government’
Nah. Actually it’s probably just a script but wouldn’t it be cool if it was really some secret government project that Obama placed Zac Efron in charge of? That would be pretty dope.
If it’s for a musical I’m going to drink gasoline.
Luckily, Hillary Clinton wasn’t involved in that whole Secret Service owning a prostitute from Columbia $47 thing…. she was too busy drinking and dancing in Columbia. DANCING! HILLARY CLINTON WAS DANCING!
Ummm can someone say next season of Dancing with the Stars???
What kind of summit was out government doing? If this is what goes down at government meetings… SIGN ME UP! You totally know Hillary Clinton is a “woo girl”.
I like seeing people you wouldn’t expect to get drunk, get drunk. It’s like being a 4th grader and running into your teacher in the supermarket or at the movies. It’s the most mind-blowing experience ever.
YOU GO CLINTON!
But seriously… cut back on the beers so you can help pay off those prostitutes.
I believe this is what congress does and/or watches all those hours that they’re just sitting in the Capital building not getting any shit done. In fact, this person might as well be our next President because she’s got novel ideas, spunk, great artistic skills and a vibrant love for the Christian holidays.
There will be no Christmas trees in the house I raise a family in…. just flat screen TV’s playing this on loop.
I haven’t even watched this and I’m already laughing because one, this is actually worth writing about (shows you the lack of material today) and two, he’s way more serious than Stephen Colbert.
I wonder if he wrote this speech himself?? The cynic in me says no because he’s too busy remembering lines from one of the greatest shows EVER, The Vampire Diaries.
I hope those turtles are okay.
At least he looked good in a suit….
Mission accomplished. Those turtles will be okay.
Seriously. That’s what’s happening in this country. Apparently, you can marry your 1st cousin in more states than you can have same-sex marriage. That makes complete sense.
Here is a nice map of that.
Gross New York… gross.
These states do know that if people with similar DNA (such as 1st cousins) make babies their children will not come okay, right?? But whatever.
I did not do this to Sarah Palin’s stupid tour bus that is toting her family around the country while they learn basic common knowledge about American history for the first time.
I wish I did that though because it’s funny. And it’s funny because it’s true.
And then they brushed each other’s hair. Well, he brushed hers because one comb to his head ends in travesty.
These two crackpots and media whores met for pizza in NYC and if I walked into a pizza place to get a slice and to try to get a date with the owner’s son and saw those two sitting together, I’d be sure the end of the world was happening… or another season of Celebrity Apprentice, which is pretty much the same thing.
Who knows that these two were actually talking about, but since Palin is “not campaigning” around the country on that goddamn bus of hers…. we can only assume they are joining forces to make the absolute best running mates for the 2012 election. Or they can be discussing a crossover reality series. Orrrr they are having a sordid love affair.
Seriously. Can you imagine??? Best material ever in either scenario.
Thank you ljrTR for this awesome video of Obama being the coolest guy ever. Never wanted to *high-five* a man more in my life.
The Lion King birth joke??? Telling Fox News that they are pretty much morons?? Calling out Donald Trump?!?!?! OBAMA!!! Why are you so awesome??
How much more charming can you be?? Agree with his politics or not… this guy has swag.
*high-five* for that awesome tittle!
1) Giggle monster.
2) “Heart Made Of Paper” because the last time I wrote out the title I think the Government came after me. Seriously.
Now, click HERE to listen to an acoustic version or watch his performance for the doggies below.
That is really all I have. Let’s give a round of applause to LjrTR for the picture annnnnnnd acoustic diddy.
He’s my favorite delusional person of the day. Hey, this could be another series in the works. You know how I love series!
So, basically, Obama has better things to do with his time than to prove to a man with the ugliest hair on this planet (it may actually be an animal) that he was in fact born in America. As Americans, we all know Hawaii is a state, so therefore PreZident Obama was born in the USA. Common sense. But, not to Donald Trump whose brain is clouded with his reality TV shows and his 3rd, much younger wife, who can barely speak English (okay.. that was mean. I think she just has a strong accent that I can not comprehend) and apparently never learned about the states in this country. Yet, he wants to be President. Cool.
Anyway, Donald Trump decided to not spend money on new hair and instead pay for people to go “search” for the birth certificate. I’m sure all his agents were just vacationing in Hawaii.
Obama decided to release his birth certificate with this statement, pretty much telling Trump & Co to f**k off and get a life, but of course, in a presidential way.
The President believed the distraction over his birth certificate wasn’t good for the country. It may have been good politics and good TV, but it was bad for the American people and distracting from the many challenges we face as a country. Therefore, the President directed his counsel to review the legal authority for seeking access to the long form certificate and to request on that basis that the Hawaii State Department of Health make an exception to release a copy of his long form birth certificate. They granted that exception in part because of the tremendous volume of requests they had been getting.
At a time of great consequence for this country – when we should be debating how we win the future, reduce our deficit, deal with high gas prices, and bring stability to the Middle East, Washington, DC, was once again distracted by a fake issue. The President’s hope is that with this step, we can move on to debating the bigger issues that matter to the American people and the future of the country.
PreZident Obama is such a polite badass. I heart him. But the sad thing is people will find a way to debunk this because, oh I don’t know?? our President has black skin and this country can be super racist and ignorant.
So done deal. Donald Trump can go back doing whatever he does. But noooooooo. Trump turns this around, like an arrogant asshole, and says it’s because of him the truth is revealed. I would love to punch this guy.
“Today I’m very proud of myself, because I’ve accomplished something that no one else has been able to accomplish.”
Trump added, “I want to look at it, but I hope it’s true so that we can get on to much more important matters … he should have done it a long time ago.”
He continued, “I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue.”
As for the actual document, Trump added, “We have to look at it, we have to see … is it real? Is it proper? What’s on it? But I hope it checks out beautifully.”
I can’t wait to see what else Trump can get Obama to admit and release… because you know, he is our nation’s soldier, guardian and justify-er!! (just pretend that’s a word)