Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Posts Tagged ‘LeAnn Rimes

This story makes absolutely no sense to me, but an old lady told me last night how she laid down some attitude on Oprah on the streets of NYC, so Oprah is on my brain.

Anyway, Oprah was jealous that Nicki Minaj was hanging out with the pope, Adele was winning a lot of shit, and Bruno Mars was seducing me with his hair and shiny jacket at the 54th Grammy Awards, so she took to Twitter to end the nonsense and regain control of her planet:

“Every 1 who can please turn to OWN especially if u have a Nielsen box.”

Now, I have no idea what the big is and I have even less of an idea what a “Nielsen box” is (but you bet your ass I want one now), but people who don’t believe in The Almighty Oprah said she can’t do this.

Apparently, it’s cheating and corrupt to ask people to watch a specific show if they own a box that counts ratings.

It’s called marketing… and plus Oprah can shoot you down with a side eye, so shut your mouth you non believers.

I’m gonna go get myself one of those Nielsen boxes and watch nothing but OWN. It’ll be like my very own bible study. Hey, maybe LeAnn Rimes or Kim Kardashian will join me?

-Rocco

I was never the greatest fan of LeAnn Rimes, and she’s not helping her case with being a ridiculous human being on a daily basis. And if you are questioning where I’m getting the ridiculous case from… check out her Twitter.

Anyway, here is LeAnn Rimes singing “I Will Always Love You” and for some reason this annoys me.

She should never not sing songs from Coyote Ugly. True story.

-Rocco

They’re starting a bible study together. And I’m now officially annoyed I haven’t been invited into the most f@#ked up bible study ever!

LeAnn Rimes: Jesus ate a lot don’t you think??
Kim K: I don’t know, but that Mary Magdalene was a bad bitch.

That conversation probably happened. And by probably, I mean definitely.

The stars had lunch together Friday in Calabasas with [Pastor Brad] Johnson before going to a service together on Sunday at his church, the Life Change Community Church in Agoura Hills.

The women have been tweeting about each other since their meeting, with LeAnn posting “So nice when your circle of supportive girl friends grows!” over the weekend.
After church, Rimes also tweeted “@KimKardashian great seeing you and the fam. See you soon xoxo,” with Kim replying “You too babe! See you soon! Xoxo.”

I’m pretty sure they discussed the sanctity of marriage. I hope they go on a speaking tour.

-Rocco

*rasies hand*

Not even joking. And I was a massive fan of “How Do I Live”, but who isn’t a massive fan of that song?? EXACTLY!

I forget that LeAnn Rimes is more than just a double home wrecker (her own home is included in that) who stopped eating and tweets pictures of her “curvy” body just to prove how “healthy” she is.

I know, right?? You forgot too.

Well, now LeAnn Rimes is singing about homeless people in a country song. She’s getting back to her roots!

I mean, I get the touching message, but let’s be honest…. this is no Coyote Ugly soundtrack.

-Rocco

I didn’t know LeAnn Rimes is now giving out advice via Life & Style. Good to know.

Here is Christina Ricci looking straight up alien like while I think dancing with Alexander Wang, at a “Fraternity House Party” themed event. And no… I have absolutely no idea what that all means.

-Rocco

Just like I said above, E! host Giuliana Rancic said LeAnn Rimes is too thin. And while that’s wildly true, Giuliana may way 1.1 lbs more than LeAnn, so really, what’s the difference?? It’s a little hypocritical. But I forgot its Hollywood and no one cares about Giuliana and her dumb husband and their dumb show where she just goes to OB/GYN appointments for 60 minutes.

Skinny Giuliana said:

“She lost a lot of weight from all the stress in her life. She seems a little thin right now, and I think she looks great when she’s a bit curvier.”

I don’t see anything wrong with pointing out that someone looks good curvier. There’s nothing hotter than a girl with some curves. I wish I was a curvy bombshell!…trust me!

I didn’t mean it as an insult but apparently some people took it the wrong way. If someone told me they prefer me with some more weight on me…I’d give them a big, fat kiss! I think this is just a big misunderstanding and hold no hard feelings towards LeAnn. Hope to see her on a red carpet soon!”

1) Guliana looks like an alien. How her head stay on her body is beyond me, and that proves to me she is either a physicist or an alien, but since she hosts E! News… the physicist option is out.

2) Umm pot, meet kettle. Guiliana’s bones cut me through the television screen so calling someone who is just as skinny as you “too skinny” is dumb.

I don’t even know why I’m reporting on this?? Maybe it’s because I’m pulling posts out of my ass today, which funny enough is worth more calories than Giuliana and LeAnn ate today.

-Rocco

Now, I know absolutely nothing about LeAnn Rimes. All I know is she sang “How Do I Live?” and she cheated on her husband to be with some guy she met on a Lifetime movie and from that I concluded she is a huge fan of Tori Spelling.

What I do know about LeAnn Rimes is that someone needs to buy this chick an anatomy book and highlight the muscular and skeletal system for her because she has no idea what she is talking about.

After fans voiced concern that their favorite Country star looks like a holocaust victim LeAnn took to her Twitter to set shit straight.

@AJPatterson1987: Whoa, you’re scary skinny! Sorry don’t mean to offend but that’s a lot of bones showing through skin…
@leannrimes: those are called abs not bones love.
@AJPatterson1987: Maybe it’s just the pic, it just looks to me like your hip bones were protruding. Again didn’t mean to offend, I am a big fan x
@leannrimes: thx but this is my body and I can promise you I’m a healthy girl. I’m just lean. Thx for your concern but no need too be.

I’m not a doctor by any means, but I’ve studied history and saw Schindler’s List and she looks like she’s auditioning for the remake. Bitch needs a sandwich. Muscles are not hard, dense and pointy.

Now, I will laugh every time she sings the song “How Do I Live?”

-Rocco

I’m convinced this one is a little out of her mind (Just a little. She can still get back if she’s mindful), and this wedding dress (??) confirms my fears.

I’m just praying to Oprah her nuptials were in the bright sunlight, because those would be the silliest tan lines (or crocheted patterns) I’ve ever seen.

-Rocco


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