Posts Tagged ‘Michelle Duggar’
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
I had to put the picture first— that’s how freakin’ stylish Michelle Duggar’s new haircut is.
Gone are the days of the long curly locks with the straight bangs from 1983! Michelle Duggar got a blowout like a player from New Jersey. I want to hang out with Michelle Duggar now.
You must be thinking– “Oh no!! Michelle Duggar is modern and kinda looks like a hot mama now— here comes more babies!!”.
You can all rest easy– Jim Bob, her husband, hates her new ‘do!
Michelle’s husband Jim Bob wasn’t particularly pleased. “I do like it longer,” he said. “I do like it longer.”
I’m sure Michelle will never keep up this hair because if her husband hates it— Jesus probably does too.
-Rocco
Michelle Duggar Is Still An Idiot
Posted on: March 30, 2012
I recently watched a clip from her show 19 Kids And Counting and I felt bad for this women who had to tell her small country of children she doesn’t know what birth control is and therefore lost a child because her uterus is like “umm hell no”. It was sad. But then I saw this clip of Michelle Duggar explaining how overpopulation doesn’t exist and I’m convinced all that Aquanet hairspray is diluting her brain. Look at this bitch’s crazy eyes!
“Well, first off, the idea of overpopulation is not accurate because, really, the entire population of the world, if they were stood shoulder to shoulder, could fit in the city limits of Jacksonville. So if you realize that aspect of it, we realize we’re not anywhere near being overpopulated.”
Well, that just isn’t true. I’ve never read a less true fact. 6.8 billion people can exist in Jacksonville? Exactly where did she read this? Is this a fact at the Creation Museum?? Under a Snapple bottle cap?
I also love the part where she says other countries ask Americans to have more babies because all their kids are dying. Oh and how her kids are going to pay for the rest of the country’s social security in the long run. OH MY GOD THIS WOMAN IS A GODDAMN NUT JOB!
But remember like Mother Theresa said….’”to say that there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers”.
I actually didn’t realize Mother Theresa used Aquanet as well.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 3 Comments
Right off the bat I wanna say that this woman gave birth 5 months ago! And she’s already knocked up with her 4th child.
5 MONTHS!! ??? Isn’t there a “rest” period, or as I like to call it “umm get off of me I just squeezed an 8lb human being out of my body”?
Tori Spelling’s uterus is not messing around and will probably shoot this baby out before Jessica Simpson.
Dean, Liam, Stella, Hattie, and I are beyond thrilled to announce that another little McDermott is on the way! We feel truly blessed that another angel has found us.
Love,
Tori
xoxo
And then of course she gave us this picture….
Because seeing her breastfeed via Twitter wasn’t enough.
I’m just gonna say I’m more excited for Reese Witherspoon’s baby, but that’s just because Donna Martin was my least favorite 90210 character.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 4 Comments
I have decided I’m only going to take love advice from Michelle Duggar because she is wise, kept that hot piece of ass Jim Bob for all these years, and has the greatest hair in the game:
On the premiere of the greatest show ever, Michelle is speaking at a conference on how to be a good, Christian wife. She also handed out a worksheet called Seven Basic Needs Of A Husband. I got about a 1/3 in and I had to stop because I was ready to write an open letter (a la Billboard to Rihanna) to Michelle Duggar about how she’s a damn idiot. Here are some highlights:
1. A husband needs a wife who respects him as a man.
How does a wife destroy her husband’s manliness?
A. By expecting him to know what protection you need
1. Physical
2. Spiritual
3. Mental
4. Emotional
Tell your husband how he can protect you.
B. By being financially independent
1. Love is killed by self-sufficiency
2. Whoever controls the money controls the leadership.
Center your work and your ministry in your home.
C. By giving greater loyalty to outside leadership
1. Pastor and church leaders
2. Men and women Bible teachers
3. Relatives and friends
Ask your husband your spiritual questions.
D. By resisting his decisions in your spirit
1. A wife’s spirit controls her husband’s ambitions
2. Reviewing past failure destroys a husband’s self-worth.
Learn to wisely appeal to your husband
E. By resisting his physical affection
1. This is the unspoken crushing of a man’s spirit.
Please click HERE and attempt to read this whole thing. In fact, I think you and your man circa 2012 should read it together because it’s hilarious.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 4 Comments
Okay. So, I missed last night’s American Horror Story because I decided to strengthen my love affair with Netflix by watching three hours of Friday Night Lights, falling in and out of sleep. I dreamed of Coach Taylor last night. True story.
But anyway, I missed AHS but that’s okay because reading about and looking at the photos of the memorial service the Duggar’s had for their miscarried child is frightening enough for one day.
I swear on my love for Netflix that the Duggars named the “child” and then TOOK PICTURES WITH IT!!
They named the fetus Jubilee Shalom (Glad they stuck with the “J” theme and I could have sworn “Shalom” was a Jewish thing?? But whatever.) and at this service they handed out… wait for it… PROFESSIONALLY SHOT PHOTOS OF THE FETUS’ HANDS AND FEET!
During the memorial, they handed out professionally taken photos of Jubilee’s hand and feets with the note ”There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world” printed on top. The pictures from the memorial were posted by a family member on Twitter and now they’re on TMZ.
CREEPY! I get we all grieve in different way, but eat some goddamn Ben & Jerry’s, woman!
I’m not going to show you the pictures because it’s too f**kin’ weird. Google it if you must. Or you can just wait until TLC airs this special, because you know they will.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 3 Comments
Sadly, Michelle Duggar suffered a miscarriage with her 20th child. This is very sad news. As against having an army of children come out of one’s birth canal that I am, no woman should ever have to go through that.
That being said… DUH! The last baby she had was born prematurely, and she and the baby almost died, so of course this pregnancy was going to be AWESOME.
What did she honestly think was going to happen?? What really annoys me about this all is of course she brings God and religion into this.
The Lord is the giver of life and he can choose when that life is ready to go on and be with Him.
So, let me get this straight?? According to Michelle Duggar the Lord kills babies and that’s totally cool. I’m not a doctor, but I think I have more science classes under my belt than God, and I’m just going to say human biology had everything to do with this. Her uterus can not hold a child one, because she’s old and two because after having 19 babies come out of it… it just kinda gives up.
Anyway, that’s sad but hopefully she takes this as “a message from God” (if she refuses to listen to science) and stops having children.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
I don’t know why I’m shocked by anything that comes out of this woman’s mouth. Of course she thinks power naps save women who have their 20th baby at the age of 45…. it’s the same woman who thinks the dinosaurs and humans lived together at the same time 6,000 years ago. Totally true story…. the Duggars learned that at the Creation museum. Another totally true story.
(Please watch this video of their trip to the Creation museum. One of the kids actually says “its more scientifically proven that the earth was created 6,000 years ago instead of billions of years ago”. Let me remind you, she’s home schooled)
I think the TLC producers actually make fun of this family in editing.
Anyway, Michelle Duggar is not at all worried about pre-eclampsia (even thought her last child was born premature and almost DIED!) because she takes cat naps.
With 18 kids still at home, one on the way and two grandchildren, how does Michelle Duggar get any rest?
“I am taking a power nap every day,” she tells PEOPLE. “And I’m eating a lot of protein and green vegetables and no caffeine, which is a new thing for me.”
Michelle, 45, and husband Jim Bob, 46, stars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting are expecting their 20th child after the premature birth of daughter Josie in Dec. 2009 following Michelle’s life-threatening preeclampsia.
“I read up a lot on preeclampsia [while pregnant with Josie],” says Michelle, “and it is a crazy, random thing. I have been getting counseled from a high-risk pregnancy doctor in Little Rock and taking good care of myself.”
2 things:
1) I don’t doubt she can nap. She has a bunch of live-in babysitters.
2) I’m actually shocked she didn’t say “well, everything will be fine because I read the bible”. They might have left that quote out, because she probably said that.
I want Michelle to use her babysitters and go out and get a haircut from 2011.
On November 13th TLC will air a special where the Duggars go to Europe. That is going to be so entertaining.
-Rocco
I Know I Already Spoke About The Uterus Of Michelle Duggar, But God Told Me To Write Another One
Posted on: November 8, 2011
- In: Tidbits
- 5 Comments
I just can’t pass up this quote from Jim Bob (yes his name is Jim Bob) because when people start talking about “odd numbers” and the other children’s reaction to the news of baby #20. NUMBER TWENTY!!!!
Plus, this photo is too good to pass up. Her eyes are saying “please wear a condom”.
“The kids thought family patriarch Jim Bob was joking when he broke the news that they would have a new brother or sister, Michelle said. They lined the family up on the staircase for a photo, she recalled, and Jim Bob said, “Smile — Mom’s going to have another baby!”
“Their mouths dropped,” Michelle said, laughing at the memory. “They all looked at me to see if he was joking.”
Jackson, age 7, immediately started rooting for another boy. They’ll find out the gender around Christmas, Michelle told TODAY Moms.
Jim Bob told TODAY Moms that he’s thrilled for their 20th child. “Michelle and I both feel like some of the most blessed parents in the world. Our children are so sweet… we are so grateful to God.”
And, he adds, “We didn’t want to stop on an odd number.”
Of course there mouths dropped. All the girls’ uterus shriveled up in fear and the boys were just thinking “what the f**k??”. These people barely raise 19 kids, so adding another one for the older children to watch is just salting their social life.
And my absolute favorite quote is “we didn’t want to stop on an odd number”. I have an unsettling feeling Jim Bob doesn’t like odd numbers because he thinks Satan has something to do with it.
Every TLC producers fantasy just came true.
Do you think the Duggars are Republican??
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
OH MY GOD! These people need to 1) stop having sex (I mean, her hair isn’t that attractive) or 2) get some goddamn birth control.
Michelle Duggar just announced that her uterus is ready to pop out a 20th child.
Michelle Duggar and her husband Jim Bob are expecting their 20th child, the couple revealed exclusively to TODAY.
“We are so excited,” Michelle Duggar told TODAY Moms before the broadcast. Now three and a half months pregnant, the mom of 19 says she was actually surprised to discover that she’s expecting again at 45. “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful.”
Michelle Duggar said they always their leave their baby making to God and I guess God wants a soccer league of his very own.
If you want a big family fine, but at least dress your 20 kids like normal people in society. They need 20 other siblings just so they have guaranteed friends.
And how have these fools not run out of J names???
Can I suggest “Jackass”?? Or is that mean?
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 5 Comments
They seriously need to stop. This crap isn’t even funny anymore. Does she even go through child-birth, or does the baby just walk out of the birth canal like no biggie???
AND STOP NAMING THEM ALL WITH THE LETTER “J”!!! How offensive is that to the letter J?? How do you think Jaden Smith feels??? Like crap, because he’s only 1 of 2 kids.
You know when you are behind that slow ass tourist family in NYC and you can’t get passed them because they make a blockade across the sidewalk… can you imagine walking behind this family??? I’d throw myself in front of a cab to just end it all because I wouldn’t be able to take it. Plus, I’m sure Michelle Duggar would just be giving birth whilst sight-seeing in NYC and I’m too young to see a baby walk out of a va jay jay. I still have hopes and dreams.
Look at that sweet hairdo! A haircut that only someone allergic to birth control could love.
-Rocco
