Posts Tagged ‘Money’
And it shows. Her ridiculous outfits m ay be expensive, but little Asian children make them for real cheap, so it all works out.
“I spent every dollar I made on my music, my art. Every dollar. I don’t wait to get budgets from the label. I do it on my own. I don’t give a f**k about money. Unless it’s on the stage, I don’t want it in my hand.”
She’s just so down to earth.
I like to think I’m a good judge of character, but I can’t sniff out gold digging wenches like J Timb.
“That’s something you very quickly become adept to sniffing out. You just kind of sit and listen to people and hear what they’re saying and what sort of questions they’re asking.”
“That tells you very quickly what they’re motivated by. Questions like: ‘How much money do you have in the bank?’ are generally a giveaway.”
First off, no one asks someone how much money they have in the bank?? Second, you know if someone is an ex-Nsync member they have bank in the bank, so why bother asking??
J Timb would never be able to sniff me out because I wouldn’t ask dumb questions like that… he’d never know that I was just marrying him so I could steal all his money. He’d never know.
And by VS I mean Steven Tyler will be wasted and have an “a ha moment” on the Oprah show tomorrow when all the judges will be there to talk about things we already know.
Poor Randy Jackson is gonna have to back flip on the stage and then try to make out with Oprah to upstage Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez. (Ryan Seacrest just smells like money and tanning lotion, and Oprah responds to that)
Oh and don’t worry Jennifer Aniston and Piers Morgan will be on the show as well. You would think I booked this show. But sadly, Oprah doesn’t sign my paycheck. She just signs my life. (I don’t even know what that means… but she does it)
I don’t even need to post pictures of the other people. You know what beautiful Ry Ry Seacrest looks like (a metro sexual angel), Steven Tyler (above) and J Lo look the same (killed two birds with one stone) and know one cares about Randy Jackson. Oopsie!
If someone could watch this for me and tell me everything…. I’d love that.
Ahhhh so JK about that whole $100 dollar thing because I’m already like 800 bucks in debt because of this stupid picture. I should just do a big fat cross out on this whole post… people have seen the pic. I give up. I’m just going to accept the award for knowing and seeing the least of Lee bear. I concede.
I will give you a $100 if you’ve seen this picture before.
This was the most accidental picture I’ve ever stumbled upon.
I googled “Lee DeWyze love” because I thought I’d find a picture of him holding a stuffed heart toy or roses. (Don’t ask) and this popped up among the lame ass choices.
You’ve never seen this right???
I will accept presents for this.
PS I can’t really give you $100. Plus, you could just lie and say you saw this before. There’s a flaw in this plan.
I feel like I’ve written that title before. Actually, I KNOW I’ve written that title before.
Oprah checks in at the #1 spot on the Forbes list with $315 million.
I mean wow. Normally, if people have this much money it annoys me because there are millions of people who are homeless, hungry, have no health insurance, have no jobs etc, but I don’t want to anger Oprah.
We all know she makes the decisions and is all-powerful, I mean the woman has her own network called OWN. If you can have your personal network… that’s impressive.
So, YOU GO GIRL!
P.S. Here is the list if you care to see who else is on it, but let’s be real… Oprah is the only one who matters. (and I guess Taylor Swift and Simon Cowell) And way to go Judge Judy… I thought Mamadukes was the only person to watch your show, but apparently not.
20. Judge Judy Sheindlin – 45 million
19. Taylor Swift – 45 million
18. Miley Cyrus – 48 million
17. Ellen Degeneres – 55 million
16. Sandra Bullock – 56 million
15. Madonna – 58 million
14. Lady Gaga – 62 million
13. Britney Spears – 64 million
12. Jerry Seinfeld – 75 million
11. Simon Cowell – 80 million
10. Dr. Phil – 80 million
09. Beyonce Knowles – 87 million
08. George Lucas – 95 million
07. Steven Spielberg – 100 million
06. Jerry Bruckheimer – 100 million
05. Tiger Woods – 105 million
04. Michael Bay – 120 million
03. Tyler Perry – 125 million
02. James Cameron – 210 million
01. Oprah Winfrey – 315 million
I always had the theory that GQ and Details magazine can make anyone look absolutely gorgeous. Seriously, any man on these covers look stunning. I sometimes stop at the bodegas just to look at them.
And by look, I mean admire. In a totally non creepy way.
Ryan Gosling was just another pretty face, made even prettier by GQ. Sit down for these.
Really, Ryan Gosling?? Really??
This makes me want to go back to school and write a whole thesis on these magazine covers. I don’t know exactly what I would have to go to school for to do that… but I’d pay a ridiculous amount of money to do so.
Ryan Gosling is actual doing something besides looking awesome… he is promoting his new movie Blue Valentine with Michelle Williams.
But… any excuse to get him on the cover with the amazing people who work there. We should all send them a letter, thanking them for making people look so great. And then hire them to take pictures of us.
Ry Ry dries himself off with Benjamins after a bath. And can now buy as many J Biebs 3D purple glasses as he likes.
He just signed a 3 year contract with Clear Channel for $ 60 Million.
$60 Million?!?!!? WTF?!?! I hope he invests wisely… and I don’t mean taking Julianne Hough on a shopping spree in Paris.
I’m not even worth that much money. Like as in me… as a human being. Not that Mamadukes would ever put a price on my being (or that you should ever tell your children how much they are worth)… but I’m pretty confident that $60 mil is worth waaaaaaay more than she would price me at.
I pray to Oprah that Ry Ry would lend Mamadukes the money if I’m ever held for ransom and the asking is $60 mil. (I have no idea why this would ever be the case)
There’s nothing else to say. Let’s just listen to Lil Wayne’s “Milli” and think of Ry Ry, all while we call our parents and ask them how much they would pay for us.
All kidding aside…. guy works hard. He has 838345389 jobs. I would never want to work as hard as him even for that amount of money. I’d rather write this for free and eat saltines for the rest of my life.
The Situation… who I believe may be crazy enough to legally change his name to that (and God I hope that happens)…. will make $5 million this year!
$5 million ?!?!??! That makes me feel kinda sorta awful about my life. But not enough to work hard and become a doctor or lawyer.
I’ll probably never make that in my lifetime, but it doesn’t really bother me so much because as I go through my “never going to make $5 million” life at least I’ll be entertained.
I am a fan. A HUGE FAN of Jersey Shore. This all happened suddenly, and it makes me a little queasy and embarrassed. I said this before and I’m going to continue to blame this all on Mamadukes.
Mamadukes watches Jersey Shore in secret like she is a 13-year-old boy watching porn. She quickly changes the channel when someone walks in on her and she pretends to only know about it from what other people tell her.
But I caught her… and now we watch it in shame together.
Not only does she watch and laugh along to the absurdity on-screen… she has a favorite cast member. She loves… I mean LOVES Pauly D and his hair.
Oh and let’s not forget she knows what G.T.L., I.F.F. and D.T.F. stand for. She stated loud and proud what D.T.F. stood for as I naively asked.
Yes, I promise this is all true.
So as I tell Mamadukes about the payday these kids are receiving, she isn’t angry. In fact, I think she is happy because she is hoping I will marry one of these Italian stallions pictured below (not Pauly D though because his hair is way better than mine and that may mean he is too good for me) and they could take care of me.
So read this article if you want to see a ridiculous picture of The Situation and read all about his endeavors.
I’m going to get back to my job that will NOT earn me $5 million dollars and watch some Jersey Shore.