Posts Tagged ‘National Anthem’
The only thing in the world that can take attention away from Michelle Obama’s bangs is a rumor that Beyonce lip-synched the National Anthem. (And the only thing that can take attention away from THAT is if the Illuminati came after and murder the Marine Corp).
BIDEN KNOWS— HE KNOWS!!!
A spokeswoman for the Marine Corp Band said it was standard procedure to record a backing track and Beyoncé decided shortly before her performance to rely on the studio version rather than risk singing it live on the Capitol.
“We did pre-record it and it was Beyoncé’s decision at the last minute to go with the pre-recorded version,” said a spokeswoman for the band.
Whether she lip-synched or not (now the Marine Corp is retracting their statement because of the whole Illuminati thing I mentioned before), the real issue is Beyonce’s acting skills.
Bitch ripped out her ear piece like it was on fire— super dramatic.
#BEY-TRAYED!!
-Rocco
Someone Let Zooey Deschanel Sing The National Anthem— Demi Lovato Is Better
Posted on: October 29, 2012
Listen. I’m just not a huge Zooey Deschanel fan. I get it— she’s super cute and quirky. It’s kind of annoying. With that being said… I do love The New Girl, but that’s just because I have a crush on Schmidt.
And with THAT being said— don’t let Zooey Deschanel sing the National Anthem. It just annoyed me for some reason.
Zooey is more of a “Oh Canada” kinda girl.
Now Demi Lovato on the other hand– I just adore her.
Don’t you just want to be best friends with her? Taylor Swift has some competition.
PS Hurricane Sandy
-Rocco
- In: Lee DeWyze
- 9 Comments
Seriously. It’s the greatest thing ever.
First, let me say I’m glad Lee D was the only person on this planet not getting wasted this weekend. I slept later today thinking I get up and have sooooooo much to write about. FALSE!!! Everyone was drunk and people must still be nursing their hangover Gwyneth Paltrow style. Get it together world… it’s January 2nd.
Lee was presumably in Chicago because of my stealth findings of photographic evidence.
And I know you’re all saying… “Rocco, that’s not Lee. That’s a 3rd grader doing sound check for Lee.” FALSE! Someone just took this from a fighter jet circling the stadium.
Now, before we get into the tiniest video ever, I just want to say Lee must have brought back basketball all by himself. I thought basketball was not happening because these rich bastards didn’t know how to divide up funds or something. Lee clearly solved all that with a little “O say can you see”.
Anyway, I’m gonna need you to click HERE to see the tiniest and worst video I’ve ever seen. A 3rd grader was really recording this with a mouthful of Pop Rocks that clearly are malfunctioning. Get your baby sized iPhone fixed kid!
There’s a semi better video. I’m just glad that he didn’t mess up the lyrics. Well, I don’t really know them myself, so I THINK he didn’t mess up the lyrics. He sounds a little bit like a black man singing at parts…. which makes me laugh.
That was a nice little Lee treat wasn’t it???
-Rocco
- In: Music
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She doesn’t know the lyrics to the National Anthem, so the only real option in this national disaster is she’s an illegal immigrant. She’s too pale and her accent doesn’t match Mexicans… so it has to be Canada, eh??
Okay… so she didn’t mess up the lyrics so much as hiccup or burp during the middle of the song. If she burped, she can be an American again, because that’s totally something a Southerner would do.
-Rocco
- In: Music
- 4 Comments
I think I’m gonna have one. I’m capable of a nervous breakdown, I think everyone is, and Demi Lovato is better than ever.
I was never a Demi Lovato fan, but now I listen to her pop ballads like it’s my job and I Google her to see what she’s up to. Does anyone Google me?? No. And that’s because I haven’t had a nervous break down next.
It’s obviously on my “to do” list now.
Anyway, Demi sang the National Anthem at the 98375938th game of the longest World Series ever and she sounded bad ass.
And she has a dope white girl weave. I want that!
-Rocco
Scotty McCreery Was Just Shouting Out To His Mexican Immigrant Friend Jose Via The National Anthem. Relax.
Posted on: October 20, 2011
- In: Music
- 4 Comments
I don’t see what the big deal was. It’s not like he threw in an “ese” or “amigo”. Jose fit in quite nicely if you ask me.
What didn’t fit in nicely was that jacket. Too LL Bean for baseball and plus, you can’t see his Jesus choker.
Anyway, Scotty McCreery apparently said “jose” instead of “oh say”… but I think it just might be because it sounds like a bullfrog is occupying is trachea.
I still can’t believe he sings like that.
-Rocco
I Swear On My Life And Oprah That This Is The Trailer To The Sarah Palin Documentary
Posted on: July 8, 2011
- In: Movies
- 6 Comments
OH MY OPRAH! If this doesn’t get the Oscar for the funniest bullshit EVER! (New category. Don’t worry about it) I will run for President. By the way, I’m running on the campaign that hummus is our national food and the National Anthem will be “Spice Up Your Life”. VOTE ROCCO!!
She clearly doesn’t know what the word “undefeated” means because she quit the position of governor and she lost the 2008 election.
How quick can I get a dictionary to Alaska? They do have mail up there, right??
-Rocco
Just a wild guess. She was being ironic by wearing a Dallas t-shirt while singing the national anthem at the NBA finals game between the Mavericks and The Heat. Is that even their name?? Why is basketball the longest running sport??…. This season is never-ending.
GET IT KELLY!!
She has the best voice!
-Rocco
I’m not really into cars or racing, and when they are combined I’d rather watch The Kennel Club Dog Show than the race… so I had no idea Kelly Clarkson was singing the national anthem at the Indy 500. In fact, I don’t even really know what that is. Do they have to go around the circle 500 times or is it 500 miles or do I look like real dumb ass right now because this is all common knowledge?
It was even more of a surprise when Seal in a bright yellow jacket appeared. I actually thought it was a joke.
Good job! I hope the guy in the red car wins!
-Rocco
1) He’s in a grass skirt
2) He shakes his hips like Shakira. And don’t you worry… his hips don’t lie.
3) His milkshake brings all the boys to the yard with that ass shake.
4) I’m convinced he’s actually trying to be the best hula dancer in this line of burly men.
If men truly do this is Hawaii while women sit there and comment and judge… where’s that little garden gnome??? I wanna book my flight ASAP.
Where's my skirt??
-Rocco
